Wildest Dreams
by RowArk
Chapter One
Regina blinked the sleep out of her eyes as the morning sun came streaming in through her bedroom window. She sighed a little in relief, as the sun shining meant that the torrential storm of the night before had finally passed, and she'd made it home safely after all. She was about to throw back her duvet and get out of bed when she heard the distinct sound of breathing coming from the other side of the bed.
Strange, she thought. She hadn't remembered Robin spending the night last night. In fact, she didn't even remember him coming over at all, and, now that she was thinking about it, she didn't even remember getting home herself. The last thing she remembered from the night before was driving in the wildest storm she had ever encountered in this realm.
Regina guessed that the stress of the drive and the fact that she had been a little too tired to be driving safely, anyway, had caused her to forget some of the details of the night before, and as she rolled over, she decided she could just ask Robin what the hell was going on when he woke up.
Only… that wasn't Robin.
"Emma," Regina gasped, under her breath, as she caught sight of the woman sleeping next to her, blonde hair sprawled out over the pillow. If she didn't remember Robin coming over last night, she certainly didn't remember Emma coming over, and she wondered briefly if perhaps the Sheriff had come over to check that she'd made it home safely, and been forced to spend the night there because of the storm.
But then, why wasn't she in the guest bedroom?
Regina sat up, her heart pounding, and debated on whether she should wake Emma up and demand an explanation, or head down to Henry's room to see if he was up and had any clue what was going on, but her thoughts were cut short as her bedroom door flew open and a little girl with strawberry blonde curls and sparkly blue eyes came bounding into the room.
"Mommy!" the girl shrieked, jumping onto the bed and wrapping her little arms around Regina's neck.
Regina gasped again, and turned to look at Emma, whose sleepy green eyes finally fluttered open.
Emma smiled as she looked up at Regina. "Morning, babe," Emma said, as she sat up and placed a kiss on Regina's cheek. "Morning, Monkey," Emma said, turning her attention to the little girl, who jumped from Regina to Emma, and Emma wrapped her in a tight hug.
Regina was at a loss for words as she listened to Emma tell the little girl to go wake up her brother for breakfast, and the little girl agreed and scurried out of the room.
"You okay?" Emma asked, frowning as she finally seemed to notice the confusion on Regina's face. "Regina? What's wrong?"
"I… I…" Regina stammered, shaking her head. She didn't even know where to begin when everything was currently wrong and she was suddenly wondering if she'd woken up in an alternate dimension or something. "I don't know what's... Emma?"
Emma sighed, shaking her head as a look of concern washed over her face. "You don't remember, do you?"
Regina just shook her head, feeling tears burning at the corners of her eyes.
"The doctor said this might happen," Emma said, nodding. "What's the last thing you remember? Do you remember the accident?"
"No... what accident?"
"Three weeks ago, you were in a car accident," Emma sighed, visibly wincing at the memory of it. "Drunk driver hit you head on. Whale said your head injury might result in amnesia. They thought you were in the clear when you left the hospital, but I guess we're gonna have to get you back in for another scan because this means the concussion was worse than they thought."
Regina felt sick to her stomach as she suddenly realized her head was aching. She reached up and felt gauze wrapped around her forehead and shuddered.
"He did a number on you, but Dr. Whale said, with your magic, it shouldn't even scar," Emma said, offering a hopeful smile. "I did ask Gold if he could heal you with magic, but he didn't think it was a good idea. He thought he might do more harm than good, messing around in your head."
Regina shook her head again. "But, Emma… I don't understand. Amnesia?"
"Yeah. Whale said this kind of injury can result in memory loss. He called it… 'retrograde'. So you basically lose a chunk of memory, but you'll still be able to form new memories, and hopefully get the old ones back."
"But… it was three weeks ago. How can this just be happening now?"
Emma shrugged. "We'll figure it out. What's the last thing you remember?"
"Um… driving in that really bad storm last night. But… I guess that wasn't last night, was it?"
Emma shook her head. "We haven't had a storm in a while. Do you remember what day it was?"
Regina swallowed hard. "It was… October 15th."
Emma furrowed her brow. "That doesn't make any sense… it's only August."
"No, it was October. It was Thursday and it was storming. I remember driving, and then I woke up in bed. Emma, it feels like yesterday. I know what day it was."
Emma nodded quickly. "It's okay, I believe you. I just didn't think… um, what year is it, Regina?"
"2015," Regina replied, feeling the annoyance rising in her own voice. She still didn't have a clue what was happening and this conversation wasn't helping.
"2015. Regina… that was five years ago," Emma said, almost in a whisper. "That was…. I remember that storm. It knocked the power out for three days, you said it was the worst storm you'd ever seen here, and… oh my god, Regina, you were still with Robin then. So… you can't… you don't remember any of this… us?"
Regina felt like she really might cry as she shook her head again.
"It's okay," Emma said, reaching for Regina's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "It's okay. It's okay. Everything will be fine."
Regina let out an exasperated sigh. "How is this okay?"
"We'll get through this," Emma insisted, squeezing her hand again. "Just like everything else."
"So, you and me... we're…." Regina started, looking at Emma with pleading eyes, hoping the blonde would fill in the details without making her ask explicitly.
Emma gave her a lopsided smile. "A couple? I know, crazy right? But yeah, uh… you and Robin broke up not long after Zelena's baby was born, and me and Hook broke up shortly after that and… well, New Years happened and maybe we both got a little tipsy but it all worked out for the best," Emma said, her grin widening at the apparent memory of that night.
"And… we have a daughter?"
"Hailey." Emma nodded, with a proud smile on her face. "We adopted her when she was one. That was three years ago, and she just turned four last month. And Henry just adores her. He's in college now, you know? In New York, but he's back for the summer, sleeping in his old room just like old times."
Regina let her eyes wander around the room as she tried to take in the new information. Her room was mostly the same, except with a few of Emma's items strewn around - her jeans lying haphazardly over the side of the dresser, her red leather jacket hanging over the back of a chair - and a few new framed pictures. Her eyes landed on a large print of the four of them, Henry with his arms around both of his mothers, and Hailey in Regina's arms, laughing.
"We look happy," Regina commented, nodding toward the picture.
"We are," Emma said. "You really are. You may not remember right now, but you will. I promise."
"Mom!" Regina heard what she was sure was Henry's voice - though he sounded much more like a grown man than a teenage boy now - coming from the hall before a knock came on the door. "Mom, Mom… are you two decent?"
Emma laughed. "Yes, Henry."
Henry pushed the door open and Regina gasped at the sight of him: he'd grown at least another foot and he had filled out. He wasn't that lanky, awkward teenager anymore. In fact, he had a little bit of scruff growing on his face now, and it made Regina want to cry, all over again.
"What's wrong?" Henry asked, his eyes passing back and forth between his mothers.
"I, uh, I…" Regina stammered, finding herself overwhelmed and at a loss for words staring at the son she barely recognized.
"She has amnesia," Emma finished for her, and Henry nodded. Regina guessed this was something that they'd discussed as a possibility. Perhaps she'd even been involved in the discussion, though she had no way of knowing and she didn't really feel like asking.
"Mommy!" Hailey's little voice rang out a split second warning before she ran passed Henry and back up onto the bed, looking right at Regina with those big, blue eyes. "I thought you were gonna make breakfast? You said you were gonna make pancakes!"
"I think I'll make breakfast today, kiddo," Emma said, before Regina had a chance to respond.
"But Mommy said! She hasn't made pancakes since she came home!"
"Yes, because she was hurt, remember? And remember what I said about asking her to do things before she's better?" Emma reminded her.
"No, it's okay," Regina said, forcing a smile. "I'll make them. If I said I would, then I will."
"Apple cinnamon?" Hailey asked, hopefully.
"Is there any other kind?" Regina asked, with a real smile this time. She hoped she was at least interacting with Hailey somewhat similar to what the girl was used to, as she was quite sure a four-year-old wasn't really going to understand what amnesia even meant.
"Come on, Hailey," Henry said, holding out his hand. "Let's go set the table and let moms get dressed, okay?"
"You sure you're okay to cook?" Emma asked, giving Regina another concerned look once Henry and Hailey had left the room. "You haven't cooked anything since you got home. Hailey will understand."
"I'm fine," Regina insisted, as she got up, hoping that perhaps being in her kitchen performing a task she'd done thousands of times before would offer a bit of normalcy to this morning. She stood before her closet, noting that at least her clothes were the same as she remembered. She grabbed an outfit, and turned to find Emma still sitting on the bed, clearly with no intention of giving her any privacy. "Do you mind?"
"Seriously?" Emma asked, taken aback. "We've been sleeping together for five years. You change in front of me all the time."
"Maybe so, but I don't remember that, so…" Regina's voice trailed off as her cheeks began to flush. Sleeping with Emma Swan… for five years. How was this even possible?
"Okay." Emma nodded. "Just let me grab my stuff and I'll get dressed in the other room."
Regina watched as Emma pulled some articles of her clothing from her dresser, and marvelled at how surreal this all felt. She felt a lump growing in her throat, and the moment Emma left the room and shut the door behind her, Regina let the tears fall.
She only indulged in the crying for a few moments before taking a deep breath to compose herself, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her pajama shirt, and getting dressed quickly before heading into the bathroom. She gasped at the sight of herself in the mirror: not only was her forehead wrapped in gauze, but she had scrapes on her cheeks and what looked like a bit of road rash on her neck and collarbone. She shuddered, suddenly grateful that she couldn't actually remember the car accident, as from the looks of it, it had been a bad one.
She just wished she could remember even a fraction of her supposed life with Emma, because it all seemed too unreal to process. The Evil Queen and the Savior? How was this even possible?
But then, if Regina was being honest with herself, it wasn't like the idea had never occurred to her before. Of course she'd always thought about the possibility of maybe having something with Emma, but she'd never really been sure if the hardheaded Sheriff felt the same. She guessed that now she knew.
And now she had a life with her, and a family, and, she wondered, perhaps the chance at a happy ending? They looked happy enough in pictures, and truly, five years was longer than any other happy relationship Regina had ever been in.
She just wished she could remember this one.
Regina took a deep breath and fixed her hair as best she could with it partially covered in gauze. She shuddered to think what her forehead looked like under the bandage, and decided against looking to see. If her cheek and neck were any indication, it wasn't good. She tried to swallow back the uncomfortable lump in her throat, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was very wrong.
No, scratch that. Everything was wrong.
Of course, it seemed like she had a good life here, with Emma, but she didn't understand how any of this was possible. Yesterday, she was in love with Robin, and though the baby was a roadblock, she was sure they would overcome it. It shocked her to think they let something like that come between them, but evidently they had, and she supposed their relationship just hadn't been as strong as she'd once believed.
Regina chewed on her lip nervously as she watched her own face in the mirror. Emma had said she might get her memories back, and she hoped to hell that was true, because she wasn't sure exactly how she was supposed to play house with a son she barely recognized and a daughter she'd just met and a woman she'd only ever been friends with… all while trying to get over a relationship she'd just learned ended with no real idea of what exactly had happened. She wondered if Robin had left Storybrooke, and quickly realized that a large part of her hoped that he had, because it would at least make this all easier.
Regina shook her head, trying to push those thoughts away. There would be time to deal with all of that later, she was sure. Emma had mentioned getting another scan done, and Regina hoped that maybe it would provide some answers, as she still felt like she was lost in an alternate reality somewhere, and not in her own life. In any event, there was a little girl waiting downstairs for pancakes she'd promised her, and memories or not, Regina wasn't about to disappoint a child.
She headed out into the hall and saw no sign of Emma in the rooms she passed. She guessed she was already dressed and downstairs, as Regina had taken longer than even she'd expected to get ready this morning. She kept walking and stopped when she reached an open door to what was formerly a guest room but now was quite clearly a little girl's room.
She stepped inside and looked around, taking in the lavender walls and shelves of dolls and toys and books. Clearly their little Hailey was just a tad spoiled, just as Henry had been at four as well. Regina actually smiled at the thought.
Her eyes roamed the room until they landed on a framed adoption certificate, which was signed by Emma and herself. Henry hadn't known at four that he was adopted, but Emma had said Hailey was one when they got her, so clearly keeping it secret wasn't an option in this case.
On either side of the certificate, there were two framed photos. On the left was a picture of Hailey as a baby, with herself and Emma. She guessed maybe that was the day they had gotten her, or shortly after, since Hailey looked about one in the picture. On the other side was a picture of a red haired woman and a blonde haired man, smiling as they proudly showing off their newborn baby girl.
"Hailey's birth parents," Emma said, coming up behind Regina and causing her to jump a little in surprise. "Sorry."
"It's okay. I just didn't hear you come up," Regina said, not taking her eyes off the picture. "What happened to them?"
"Car accident," Emma said, as she stepped up beside Regina. "They both died on impact but Hailey was miraculously uninjured."
"Another car accident," Regina commented, as she absently touched the gauze on her forehead.
"Yeah… how's your head feeling?" Emma asked, looking at Regina with concern again.
"Better than it did this morning, actually," Regina replied, noting that the pain was almost gone now. It seemed strange, since she hadn't taken anything for it, so she made a mental note to add that to the list of things to ask the doctor about.
"I called Dr. Whale while you were getting ready. He said he can see you later this morning."
"Good. Will you come with me?" Regina asked, instantly wanting to kick herself for how needy her voice sounded.
"Of course," Emma said, with a small smile that told Regina that would have gone without saying. "Henry's going to watch Hailey. And he's making breakfast. I know you said you're fine but you're not fine. Your apple cinnamon pancakes can wait."
"I don't want to upset her."
"You won't. It's okay," Emma assured her, as Regina felt the tears threatening to fall again. "Hey. It's gonna be okay."
Regina frowned as she suddenly became aware of a sound she hadn't noticed before. "Do you hear that sound?" she asked, straining her ears, trying to figure out which direction it was coming from.
"No. What sound?"
"It's like …. A ticking sound … or maybe clicking. It's faint. You can't hear it?" Regina asked, as she looked around for the source of the noise. "I think it started just after you came in here. I didn't notice it before."
"I don't hear anything," Emma said with a shrug. "Come on. Let's go see how Henry's making out with breakfast."
Regina nodded and followed Emma out of the room, noting how much she suddenly felt like a guest in her own home as she followed Emma through the hall. She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she could just wake up and find that this was all just a vivid dream.
"How's breakfast coming, kid?" Emma asked as they reached the kitchen.
"Mom! I just turned eighteen… 'kid' doesn't really work anymore," Henry said, shaking his head as he poured the pancake mix into the frying pan. Regina bit her lip, not wanting to think about the fact that her thirteen-year-old was suddenly eighteen, and she's missed so much.
"Well, I'm not about to call you 'man', so deal with it, kid," Emma teased as she picked up Hailey under her arms and swung her around before carrying her into the dining room and placing her on a chair equipped with a plastic booster.
"Sit beside me, Mommy," Hailey said, patting the place setting beside her and looking at Regina expectantly. Regina forced a smile and took the seat next to the little girl.
"Sorry I didn't make your pancakes," Regina said, quietly, as Emma headed back to the kitchen to help Henry.
"That's okay, Mommy. You were asleep for so long, I'm just glad you're back home," Hailey said, with a big smile.
"I was asleep?" Regina asked. Emma hadn't mentioned her being unconscious.
"Uh-huh. For five whole days. I didn't know if you would ever wake up!" Hailey said, emphatically.
Regina swallowed hard at the thought of that, as the faint ticking sound started again. It sounded like it was coming from inside her head and all around the room, at the same time.
"Hailey, do you hear that sound?" Regina asked, quietly so that Emma wouldn't hear. She didn't really want to cause Emma any more concern if she didn't have to.
"All I hear is pancakes sizzling," Hailey said, looking toward the kitchen where Henry was still hard at work.
"You don't here a little ticking sound? Like a clock?" Regina asked, to clarify.
"Uh uh. Look! Pancakes are done!"
Regina looked toward the kitchen where Henry was placing pancakes on plates, and just nodded. She wondered if perhaps she should ask Dr. Whale about the sound today, since apparently no one else could hear it.
During breakfast, Regina picked absently at her food while Hailey monopolized most of the conversation, though Regina was barely listening to what the girl was saying. It was hard to focus when this all still felt so surreal to her. It felt more like she was watching the interactions of a happy family, than she was actually part of one.
"It's a nice day, so I'm gonna take Hailey to the park while you two are gone," Henry informed his mothers, once breakfast was done.
"Good idea. Let her burn off some energy and maybe she'll actually nap today," Emma said, with a wink to her little girl. Hailey merely replied with a mischievous grin.
Regina watched the whirlwind of activity while Emma cleaned up from breakfast - after vehemently refusing Regina's help and telling her to take it easy - and Henry and Hailey got ready for their day together. Before she knew it, Emma was asking her if she was ready to go, and they were heading outside, where she saw a black Jeep Wrangler, that Emma informed her belonged to Henry, and Emma's Bug. Regina eyes roamed the rest of the driveway, quickly noting that one vehicle was glaringly absent.
"You survived the accident," Emma said, as she took Regina's hand and lead her towards the Bug. "Your Mercedes wasn't so lucky."
"Oh," Regina breathed out. The more she learned about this accident, the more she was grateful that she didn't remember it. "Who, um, who was the drunk driver?"
Emma seemed to visibly stiffen as she let go of Regina's hand to unlock the car. "It… it doesn't matter. Come on, we're going to be late."
"Since when have you ever cared about being late?" Regina asked, raising an eyebrow as she got into the car. "And it does matter. I want to know."
"Can we talk about this later?" Emma asked, as she started the car and quickly threw it into reverse, backing out of the driveway faster than Regina would have liked.
"Emma! Slow down," Regina gasped. She might not remember the accident, but she wasn't really in the mood for a repeat performance either.
"Right," Emma said, staring straight ahead as she pulled out onto the road and headed towards the hospital. Regina just watched her as she drove, wondering why she was so insistent not to tell her who had been driving the other car. She decided not to push it, for now, and rather to focus on her appointment with Dr. Whale.
They waited in silence in the waiting room until Whale finally called Regina's name. Emma instantly grabbed her hand again as they stood. "Ready?" she asked, looking seriously at Regina.
"As I'll ever be," Regina said, with a nod. She found it odd that despite her lack of memory, holding Emma's hand didn't feel strange in any way. It felt familiar, and she wondered if perhaps some part of her mind still did remember, on a subconscious level. Whatever it was, Regina felt grateful, at least, for the comfort it offered her, as they entered Whale's office.
"So, she's experiencing memory loss," Whale said - rather than asked - as he looked at Emma, rather than Regina.
"Yes, I am," Regina said, drawing his attention to her.
Whale nodded and tipped Regina's head back, looking into her eyes with his light. "Starting this morning?" he asked, looking back at Emma again, who simply nodded. Whale nodded again, and looked back at Regina. "Retrograde amnesia, caused by the concussion."
"Wait, you aren't going to give me at CT scan or an MRI or something?" Regina asked, panic rising in her voice. "You can't just look in my eyes and diagnose a head injury!"
"We've already diagnosed the injury," Whale explained. "We already have your scans, and we knew this would be a possibility."
"Fine, then explain to me then why I woke up with a headache and now it's gone," Regina said, giving Whale a challenging look.
Whale shrugged. "That sounds like something you should be happy about."
"What?" Regina looked at Emma for help, and noted that the blonde seemed remarkably unfazed by Whale's nonchalant attitude.
"Okay, well there's something else. I keep hearing a ticking sound, like a clock, and no one else can hear it," Regina stated.
"Tinnitus." Whale shrugged again. "Common with head injuries. It should pass on its own in time. Honestly, Regina, you're lucky you survived at all, and even luckier that your magic is accelerating your healing. A headache, some ticking and even the memory loss are all still better than the alternative. So just continue to rest as you have been."
"I don't remember what I have been doing. That's why I'm here," Regina said, through gritted teeth. Deep down, she knew Whale had a point and she should be grateful to be alive, but she was finding gratitude hard to come by at the exact moment.
"Regina, honey, calm down," Emma said, reaching out to touch Regina's arm, but Regina shook her off. "What else can we do?" Emma asked, turning her attention back to Whale.
"You can try looking at photo albums, keepsakes, momentos… anything that might trigger a memory, but there's no guarantee that her memory will ever come back. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other patients."
"Unbelievable," Regina scoffed, as they left Whale's office. "I want to get a second opinion."
"Regina-" Emma started, but was quickly cut off.
"No! That was unacceptable. I want a second opinion. Whale's an idiot. Take me out of Storybrooke so I can see a real doctor," Regina said, looking pointedly at Emma.
Emma nodded. "Okay. I will. I'll find a doctor, okay? But come on, you're upset, let's go home."
"Of course I'm upset!" Regina snapped, defensively. "I can't remember anything and he's not giving me any answers. You said I would need another scan and all he did was look in my eyes!"
"Well, I'm not a doctor, Regina. I just assumed you'd need another scan," Emma said, before turning to head toward the door.
The car ride home was silent, as Regina sat and stared out the window, trying hard not to let her tears fall out of pure frustration.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Regina said, quietly, once they reached the house.
"It's okay. I know this isn't easy for you," Emma said, with a small, encouraging smile.
"Well, it can't be easy for you, either," Regina acknowledged.
"No, it's not. For a few days, Regina, honestly, we didn't even know if you were going to live. Those were the hardest days of my life. But you did, and I know losing your memory must be horrible for you, but you're alive and that's what matters. You survived the accident, so you can survive this, too."
"I wish I had your optimism," Regina sighed, as they entered the house. "I thought Henry was supposed to have the heart of the truest believer, not you."
"Maybe so, but I'm still your savior, remember?" Emma said, with a grin.
"Right."
"You want to maybe try looking at some photo albums before the kids come home?" Emma suggested.
Regina glanced around the room, at more pictures of her and Emma, and Henry and Hailey. All things she didn't remember. A life she didn't feel like she was part of, despite photo evidence right in front of her.
She shook her head. "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, honestly, Emma. Can I just go lie down?"
Emma nodded. "Yeah, of course. Whatever you need. I'll be here, if you need me. I'm not going anywhere."
"Thank you."
With a heavy heart, Regina headed back upstairs to her bedroom. It was familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time, and as she crawled into bed, she couldn't help but notice it smelled like Emma. Of course it did. She'd been sleeping there for years. Even if Regina couldn't remember, the proof was all around her, and yet she still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. There was something Emma was leaving out - something more than the name of the person who'd hit her - though Regina couldn't guess what or why.
Absently, she stroked her hand over the pillow Emma had been sleeping on that morning, trying to sort it all out in her head. If nothing else, she'd always been able to trust Emma, and she tried to tell herself that if Emma was keeping something from her, there must be a reason, and it must be for Regina's own good.
Or, at least she hoped it was.
Regina felt her eyelids growing heavy, and decided perhaps a nap would help. She hoped that Henry would be back by the time she woke up, and she could talk to him, one on one. If there was one thing she could always count on, it was that her son would protect her in any way he could. If something was going on, surely Henry would tell her.
And with that thought, Regina drifted off to sleep, determined to get some answers when she awoke.
