This morning, I interview the legendary dark lord, Tulak Hord
(Approx. 5758 BBY - 5620 BBY)

INTERVIEWER - Good morning, Lord Hord. May I please get an interview?

TULAK HORD - Why? Is there a purpose for wasting my valuable time?

INTERVIEWER - People wish to know you better, both as the reigning dark lord, and as a person.

TULAK HORD - Very well. Make is short. Do not waste my time one second longer that necessary.

INTERVIEWER - Besides the title of dark lord, two other titles have been bestowed upon you;
Master of the Gathering Darkness, and Lord of Hate. How do you feel about these two titles?

TULAK HORD - The two titles are accurate. As the dark lord, the dark side gathers within me.
It is my domain. As for the "Lord of Hate" title; it is appropriate. I have no patience for useless,
incompetent fools.

INTERVIEWER - If I may ask, why did you first join the sith?

TULAK HORD - To reach my full potential as a force-user. As I am a passionate individual, I reject
on principal the emotionless, passionless jedi. The sith accept passion as a source of great strength.
As the great Sorzus Syn once wrote "Through passion, I gain strength".

INTERVIEWER - Do you like to travel to exotic worlds?

TULAK HORD - Only to conquer inhabited worlds. The more planets I conquer, the larger my empire grows.

INTERVIEWER - Do you enjoy any favourite foods?

TULAK HORD - Pizza. It can by made quickly, and you can get creative with the toppings. I once made a pizza
with the meats of 20 different creatures on it. I wonder if I can dice up one or two idiots?

INTERVIEWER - What would you say is your greatest legacy?

TULAK HORD - My knowledge of sith sorcery. As I am somewhat of a lifelong study of sorcery, I love creating
new spells. My favourite spells include causing a planet to liquefy, an individual to burst into flames, and
uniting all the powers of hundreds of sith together into one massive explosion. I call it a thought bomb.

INTERVIEWER - You're the one who created the thought bomb? In that case, Emperor Vitiate and Darth Bane
thank you, while Lord Kaan and his Brotherhood of Darkness curse you.

TULAK HORD - Then Lord Kaan and his group of fools were too weak in the dark side. Had they been truly
powerful in the dark side, they might have survived. They deserved to die.

INTERVIEWER - Is there any way for a person to survive the detonation of a thought bomb?

TULAK HORD - As a thought bomb consists of massive amounts of dark side energy, one extremely powerful
in the dark side may be able to survive. One powerful in the light side, like a jedi, would never survive. When I
first tested my creation on the battlefield, I created a force shield along with several hundred of my fellow sith lords.
Instead of placing the force shields side by side, we layered them on top of each other. We then detonated the
thought bomb. The top dozen or so layers were completely destroyed. However, those at the center of the shield,
myself and my top people, survived. We then buried the black metallic orb in a cavern 1500 feet below the surface.
Sadly, that's why most of the surface of Korriban is a sandy desert. A small price to pay for destroying my enemies.
Well worth it.

INTERVIEWER - Do you ever relax? How do you spend your free time?

TULAK HORD - I relax by peeling the skin from my enemies. The slower, the better. I gain strength from the
immense pain and suffering of my enemies.

INTERVIEWER - What are your goals for your sith empire?

TULAK HORD - To destroy the republic and rule the galaxy for one thousand years. Many songs will by sung
about my greatness. Stories will be told.

INTERVIEWER - Thank you kindly my lord, for your time.

TULAK HORD - Never waste my time again. EVER.