WARNING!

Future chapters will contain; offensive language, drug use, drinking, smoking, mental torture, physical torture, sexual abuse, prostitution, cross-dressing, and xenophilia! - all relating to Zim

Zim will be going through some hard times, but this story will have no angst. I have enough of it in my life, so I don't need to read or write about it.


Prologue

If the tallest choose to read the latest review sent in by Irken Invader Zim, they would have learned the cruel joke that nature has played on mankind.

This review talked about the most appalling flaw on the human body. Unlike every other species in the universe that doesn't live on the planet Earth, the humans have a sexual organ right next to where they deposited bodily waste. They fornicate and defecate in the same general area; it's a ridiculous concept to say the least. If mankind should ever gain knowledge for space travel and learn to survive on foreign planets, they would become a laughing stock to the dominant races as soon as this fact leaked out. An inferior species indeed.

The flaw also has strong potential to bring down the human race since they are already prone to diseases and infection. If Zim took the time to exploit this potential, he would soon be ruling the earth. Instead, Zim chose to write up the review as a humorous fact for his leaders to laugh at.

Instead of laughing at the review, his leaders laughed at him- or what they were going to do to him.

Zim was a huge thorn in the side of the entire Irken race. His simple existence was a death threat to anyone and everyone. And no amount of banishments and fake missions can hold him back from being an active member to the armada. Any and all truths fell on deaf ears, or antennas in this case, to why he was sent to planet earth. Words did nothing to the false invader. Now was time for action, and action spoke louder than words.

It was the Tallest who came up with the clever idea to find a Vortian to make a plan. A very special Vortian. A Vortian who once worked with Zim himself!

XXX

Down on planet Vort, inside the prison facility, locked away inside cell unit #777, was a little Vortian, bored out of his mind.

He swung his legs back and forth as he sat on the bench meant to be a bed, and took turns staring at the floor and ceiling. A sigh escaped from his mouth. The boredom was torture, unbearable and continuous. Oh, the things he would subject himself to for a bit of mental stimulation.

Footsteps could be heard down the hall. He closed his eyes and listened to the rhythm, calculating the time between each step, and summing up how much body mass the Irken must have to produce the force of the echoing step.

He opened his eyes again once he realized the footsteps stopped right in front of his cell. The guard was fatter than he imagined. He expected the newcomer to be tall, not fat, and the miscalculation disappointed him.

The guard slid the door open and cleared his throat.

"Prisoner #777, you have been summoned." He said in his most professional sounding voice.

The Vortian frown. He hated that this has become his new name. It felt like he lost his identity and became something else, a plaything, a tool for the Irken armada. It was standard protocol to recondition the prisoners into forgetting their names and replacing it with their cell numbers. His inability to remember his real name was disturbing. They owned him now, and they can call him whatever they wanted.

#777 hopped off the bench and onto his feet, not caring if the summoning meant trouble. A change in scenery was a blessing to him, and he wasted no time walking out of his cage. The guard slapped the cuffs on his wrist, and together they walked, footsteps harmonized into a steady pattern down the hall.


A/N: An old clip I saw on youtube flashed through my head when I typed that line about 'reconditioning'. I recommend looking up the video "Bingo the clowno". It's an interesting animated bit about brainwashing a guy into a false identity. And the bizarreness of it makes me think that that's what Irkens would do, if they were that imaginative.

Chapter beta-read by Katherine Jasper.