Title: Never Yours
Author: SeverusHermioneForever
Pairings: Lily/James with mild Lily/Remus
Warnings: Light mentions of lemons.
Summary: Lily Evans knew that she could never have Remus Lupin. Instead, she watched from afar.
Notes: For the Watching and Wishing Challenge.
She was never really his.
No matter how wonderful he made her feel underneath his touch as he pressed rough kisses down her neck, made love to her in the middle of the night as she called his name out in ecstasy.
But somehow he made her feel wrong. She felt like a delicate Russian doll who was about to break any second and she hated it. She hated the feeling of delicacy. Hated the mutual feeling his parents had towards her.
She remembered one night, while they were at a party and she could feel the anger of Mrs. Potter's eyes burning into the back of her head. Lily could of sworn she whispered he word mudblood too.
Lily felt herself sinking into depression and took comfort from him. She enjoyed his company. She felt happy and content as they read books from his small library.
Real books.
Not those silly love stories that other witches in Lily's workplace have been reading about wizards who make love to then under a tree, in a bed.
But books about potions and defence against the dark arts.
They shared so much in common! So much passion for learning. Lily felt so much shame for not choosing to love him.
Instead, she watched from afar.
Remus has never been out with a woman before. Lily often wondered if he was into men rather than girls and when Lily asked this, Remus could only bark out a laugh.
"James and Sirius have been asking me that since 6th year,He gave a wry smile. No, I'm not interested in men. I'm just merely waiting for the right woman to come along,"
The morning sickness came and Lily knew it might be a sign of being pregnant. Remus was the first to know, not James.
She was, she hated to admit, afraid of James reaction. She had a nervous breakdown at Remus's and he wrapped his arm around her, letting her cry.
"I'm sorry," Lily said as she wiped away her tears.
"Don't be. Sometimes it's good to let all your emotions out,His brown eyes sparkled and Lily's heart fluttered.
He turned to face her and slowly, Lily leaned in and kissed him on the lips.
Oh! She could the passion and hunger he had. The sweet taste of chocolate and ancient books and the midnight moon that ran along her tongue and she gave a slight moan of pleasure, wanting more.
She was the first to pull away, catching her breath and she gave a small smile at him, not regretting anything.
"I'm sorry,He said and she felt her heart drop. I shouldn't of done that,"
Lily gently took him by the chin, making him looking into her eyes and she rubbed her fingers against the stubble he had on his chin.
"Don't be. I've wanted to do that for a long time,"
"But James-He began but she interrupted him.
"Will never find out," She promised.
Lily knew that she could never have Remus Lupin. Her good, kind-hearted friend. She knew that he could never be hers.
She was James.
But yet, every time she saw him, only one single thought came to her mind.
I'm never yours.
