Every day is a new chance to make new opportunities, to create new goals, and to make happy memories with the ones you love. To smile in the light, to be thankful for all that you have…
But why? Why did he still feel this way? Every day was almost the opposite. Guilt burdened his shoulders. He would make excuses to friends just so he wouldn't have to be in their presence; it was something he felt was still undeserved. He was glad that everything was over, but what happens next? How could he look his friends and loved ones in the eyes, and how could they do the same to him?
Sunlight poured through the halls of the wide windows, the light shining on him as he passed by at a brisk pace. To those who watched him from a distance, they would say Terra looked focused, his gaze always forward and unwavering.
It was a good front he put up. He had found the strength to hold his head up if only to keep it from hanging low. He wanted to stay focused on anything other than the immense guilt that ate away at him.
Around the corner now, and he spotted a door open on the left wall. It used to be Master Eraqus' room and study, though now it was her room. She was Master and Successor, wasn't she? He briskly walked past, hoping that he wouldn't be noticed. So far so good…
"Oh, Terra."
He froze, flinching from the sound of her voice. Well, going as far as he could wasn't good enough, he supposed. His shoulders sagged slightly as he turned, putting on a smile. "Yes, Aqua? What is it?"
She stood at the doorway for a long moment, studying him, before moving forward. She hardly looked like the newly minted Master from years past; though, to the both of them, ten years really didn't feel like it. They had hardly aged a day physically, and for her it showed. But in the months that followed Xehanort's defeat, Aqua began to grow her hair out a bit longer, now down past her shoulder blades. Instead of shorts and stockings she opted to wear a pair of leggings, and she wore one of the Master's old robes over her otherwise similar outfit.
"I haven't seen you on the training yard lately," she spoke up, now only about a foot between them both. "Is everything alright?"
Terra glanced away before returning his focus to her. "Yeah. I've just been in the studies. A lot's happened in ten years."
Aqua sighed and smiled, holding her arm. "Yes, it has. But," she said, looking at him. "Here we are."
He met her gaze for a brief moment, then looked away. "I should go." He turned, ready to continue down the hall, when she gently took ahold of his arm.
"Terra," she spoke with quiet concern. "Please, don't lie to me." She moved around to face him, his gaze downcast as she approached. She placed a hand on his cheek, stroking it with her thumb. "I know something is eating at you. You don't have to hide. All I want is to help you."
Terra sighed, placing his hand on hers. He lifted it off of his face and dropped it. "It's nothing." With that, Terra continued down the hall and disappeared around another corner.
Aqua sighed, folding her hands together. She wanted to help him so desperately, but how? What was wounding him so deeply? She sighed, moving back into her study. She moved to the window, glancing out onto the land below. She watched the new wielders train on practice dummies and with each other.
Keyblade wielders, awakened to the power in their heart, had been found not long after Xehanort's defeat. As Master, she knew it was her mission to help guide these new wielders to temper the balance of light and darkness within their hearts.
She spied Riku on the training yard, watching over the recruits. Giving directions, helping assemble the practice dummies, and giving proper guidance. If she was the light, then he was the darkness. He knew what a heart did when confronted with darkness, and he knew how to channel it into a power that coexisted with the light within.
She hummed. Perhaps he would also be an answer as to what was bothering Terra. She stepped away from the window and out of her chambers, off to go visit the trainees and her counterpart.
Keyblades glistened in the sunlight as they clashed against wood and the metal of other blades, the sound ringing out a dissonant tune.
Aqua walked down the steps from the building, and the trainees not currently engaged in battle took notice. As she passed, they bowed; she nodded to them all in acknowledgement. She walked closer to Riku, who similarly bowed his head. "Riku. Good afternoon." She stood beside him, turning to face the wielders as their training.
Riku was still very much the picture of the boy that had saved her months prior, save for the cross of belts he wore over his V-neck undershirt; at the center of that cross was the heart-shaped badge Aqua and Terra had worn. "Good to see you," he spoke up. "The trainings are going well. Everyone seems to be behaving in a good balance."
"Good." She watched the wielders, a smile spreading across her face. "How are you settling in to life here?"
Riky crossed his arms. "So far, so good. Though I'm not sure how well I'm doing with the new wielders." He sighed. "I know being a Master requires dedication to the balance and responsibility to those we're tasked to look over. I just hope I'm doing right by them."
Aqua's glanced over at him, her expression softening as she placed a hand on his tensed arm. "You're doing great, Riku. I couldn't ask for a better teacher to help me."
"Thanks." His smile faded quickly. "But what about Terra? I'm sure he would be just as good a teacher."
Aqua sighed, withdrawing her hand. It was true; ten years ago, both her and Terra had helped Eraqus in teaching Ven all that they knew about the Keyblade. But more important, they all learned from each other, a friendship forming between each other that formed an unbreakable connection. Even after leaving their home, saving the worlds from Xehanort's original threat, and all of them paying the price for it… all three of them came out the other side together once more.
But Terra seemed different now. Quiet. Withdrawn. What was going on in that head of his? She always tried to figure him out, to try to help him, and time after time he would push her away.
"Well, I actually was coming to speak with you about Terra." She stared off, eyes gazing out at two wielders clashing against each other but never really focusing on their form or technique. "I have no doubts that he'll be a Master. But there's something off about him." She looked over to Riku. "I'm sure you've seen it, too."
"Yeah, I have." Riku replied, letting out a deep sigh. "I think I know what's eating him. I went through the same thing, after Sora, Mickey and I sealed the door to darkness." He looked at her and smiled again. "Let me guess: you want me to talk to him?"
Aqua looked to the side. "I don't want to thrust my problems onto you."
Riku placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's not a problem. You and Terra were both there for me at one point. It's time I returned the favor." He gave her a reassuring smile as he stepped away, walking across the training yard. Just as with Aqua, the trainees stopped to bow; he simply waved to them as he stepped back up the stairs and through the door into the main building.
Inhale.
He focused on himself. All of his flaws, his fears. He didn't belong here. Not with Ven, and definitely not with Aqua.
Exhale.
He roared out, bringing his Keyblade, Ends of the Earth, down onto the poor training dummy. The might of the weapon cleaved it into two clean pieces. He weaponized all of his insecurities, turning it into the power behind his attacks.
His attacks echoed through the small interior training hall he had holed himself up into. Here, he could be alone. Though he thought he had enough solitude to last a lifetime; his rage kept him persisting as a facsimile of himself, animating his Keyblade Armor for ten, long years. Apparently, though, that loneliness was a desire.
His Keyblade disappeared in a flourish of light as he approached the broken dummy, picking up his pieces. Turning, he heard the door open. Riku slipped through, closing the door behind him.
"Somehow I thought you'd be here," the boy spoke. Terra bowed his head, but Riku simply waved it off. "Please, we're equals."
Terra chuckled, a smirk plastered across his face as he dumped the remains of the training dummy into an empty receptacle. "I don't know what gives you that idea."
"You were a Master." Riku stepped further into the room. "But now you're not. Any reason why?"
Terra's smirk faded, his brow knitting together. "You know why."
"Oh believe me," Riku spoke up. "I do. But you should realize, you can be a Master again."
"Why should I?" Terra turned to face him. "You don't understand what I did—"
"Quit it." Terra immediately silenced himself as Riku continued. "I did horrible things to my friends and my family. I paid a high price for wielding the darkness." Riku looked down at his own hands. "I won my body back, but it was tainted. Even today, I still deal with the lingering stench of darkness. I still scrub my hands, stained with that dark power." He tightened his hands into fists. "You and I have a lot more in common than you think, Terra."
"I created all of that," Terra snapped. "I had allowed him into my heart and my body. I doomed entire worlds with darkness. Don't even think for a minute that we're similar."
He watched Riku take a step back, and then he glanced down to his Keyblade. He had summoned it during his fit of rage. He looked to Riku, remorse in his eyes. But by the time he glanced at him, the boy had summoned his own Keyblade, a smirk on his face.
"Well, maybe I can show you in my own way," Riku spoke. He lunged, Braveheart held high. Terra held Ends of the Earth up in just enough time to block the attack, not even flinching as Riku bounced off his blade. He parried with a lunge of his own, striking Riku's blade. The sparks created from the strike glistened faintly before vanishing.
"I can feel it," Riku spoke up, meeting Terra's blade with his again. "I can feel the darkness behind your attacks. The fear, the aggression…." He somersaulted, his hand brimming with a pink and blue flame. "Get a load of this!" He shot the Dark Firaga blast out of the palm of his hand. Terra braced himself, holding his Keyblade in front of him. It tanked the attack, causing Terra to slide back until he slammed against the wall of the training room.
And then Terra dashed forward. The speed was nearly inhuman, the dark power he wielded changing the shape of his hand into a large, clawed fist. It reached out, grabbing Riku's Braveheart and clutching it. Terra threw it backwards, and then followed up with a flurry of attacks, all powered by the darkness in his own heart. Riku quickly summoned Braveheart back to his side, blocking as many of the attacks that Terra finished up with.
"Is that all you got?" Riku smirked. He shoved Terra's blade away with his own, and then spun around him. He quickly summoned a blast of Dark Firaga pointed directly into the man's back. Terra groaned, the force of the blast propelling him forward. He kneeled, as Riku's Braveheart vanished.
"That's a powerful darkness you wield," Terra spoke between exhausted breaths, sitting up but remained seated on the ground.
"I could say the same for yours." Riku responded, sitting down beside him. "Why do you run from it?"
Terra brought his knees up and sighed. "All my life, I was told darkness shouldn't exist. It had no place in our hearts. Just having a little bit of it could cause so much damage. You've seen it." He looked to Riku. "I know you have."
"Yeah," Riku answered. "But Terra, darkness is just as much a part of our hearts as light is. It's what you do with it that matters."
The boys sat together for a long moment in silence before Riku looked back over to him. "Do you remember when you visited the islands? What you asked me?"
Terra nodded. "It was just like yesterday. I asked you why you wanted to see the outside world. You told me you wanted to be strong. And visiting the outside world would give you the strength you needed."
"The strength to protect what matters." Riku held his hand out, summoning his Keyblade once more. "And I did. It was a long road to take, and there was a high price to pay for all of it. But I learned that that strength wasn't just the light in my heart. It was the darkness I had accepted and channeled to help protect it. Darkness is only as evil as we make it to be, Terra."
"That still doesn't excuse what I've done," Terra responded. "I hurt those close to me—"
"And they've forgiven you, haven't they? They continued to fight for you, and you continued to fight for them, right?" Terra was silent as Riku finally stood, his Keyblade disappearing. "You can stay here and keep beating yourself up over something that everyone has already moved on from. Or you could turn that darkness into something that you can use to help fight alongside you."
As Riku began to walk away, Terra stood. "But how do I know that this whole thing has been put to bed?"
Riku opened the door as he looked back at him. "Just talk to her, Terra." He smiled at the man. "I know what you're referring to. Or who, I guess." Terra chuckled, and so did he. "She wants to help you, because she knows you can be better than this."
With that, Riku slipped out the door, closing it behind him. Terra pondered on his words for a moment before he moved. Besides, it was lonely again in the training room. And he was starting to feel tired of being alone.
The day had progressed onwards. Terra had tried to catch Aqua, but no matter how he tried, she seemed to be busy. Be it from tutoring new wielders or overseeing her own work to be done as Successor, she couldn't catch a break.
The sun had finally set on the Land of Departure. Wielders returned to their quarters for the night to relax. That was no matter for him as he pursued the halls of the building. Around the corner, and he soon found her door shut. He hesitated. Maybe she wasn't in? Or perhaps she was still doing work or possibly resting, hoping to remain undisturbed?
It was selfish, but he walked forward. He wanted to get all of this off of his chest. He knocked on the door, then waited. He heard the patter of feet approach the other side of the door, and finally it creaked open.
Aqua stood, her Master robes gone. Dressed in a simple gown and wearing a pendant with the Master's emblem, she kept her hand on the doorknob. "Terra, I didn't expect you tonight." She stepped to the side. "Come in."
He nodded, stepping in. Her desk, table, and bedside stand was aglow with candlelight. He moved to the table, sitting in one of the seats. She moved back to her bedside, sitting down and picking up the hairbrush she had left on her bedside stand.
"I hope you don't mind," she spoke up, raking the comb through her hair.
Terra smiled and shook his head. "No, just remembering that you can be a girl too."
She shot him a look. "When am I ever not a girl, Terra?" Her lips curled into a smile, and the two shared a small laugh.
"I wanted to talk to you about something you asked me earlier."
"I suppose you talked to Riku, then." She focused on the ends of her hair now.
"Yeah. I did." He looked down, before looking up at her. She had put the hairbrush down and had focused on him. Her eyes weren't stern, but inquisitive. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? For what?"
"For everything."
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She knew any question she asked would be loaded, and so she simply scooted over closer to the top of the bed and pat the area by her. "Sit. Over here."
Like a puppy, he obeyed. He rose out of his seat and settled down by her. As soon as he sat, he could feel her fingers slip into his hand, holding it tightly.
"Talk to me, Terra. What's going on? You've hardly been your old self since we came back home."
"It's everything, Aqua." He squeezed her hand. "It's everything I've done. Allowing the darkness in my heart, allowing Xehanort to influence me. Allowing him to hurt you and Ven…"
She frowned, brows knitted together. "That isn't true." She took his other hand and held it tightly. "Yes, the darkness you did allow, and yes, Xehanort used you. I can't agree that the way you chose was the right way of doing things, Terra."
He dropped his head and nodded. She reached over and held his chin, lifting it up to make him look at her. "But your intentions were just. You wanted to protect what mattered to you." She picked his hand up and kissed the back of it. "Do you understand?"
"I do, but…" he tried to slip his hand away from hers. "How can you look me in the eyes now?"
"How can Ven look me in the eye after I broke my promise for ten years, Terra?" She gestured towards the door. "Riku, a Master, used the darkness in his heart to try to help his friends, only to hurt them too. How can his friends look him in the eye?"
Terra began to speak, when Aqua placed a hand on his cheek. "Because we never give up on each other, Terra. Sora and Kairi and the others never stopped believing in Riku, never stopped believing that they would see each other again. Ven and I never stopped believing that we would always be there for you."
"And I never stopped believing that I would make things right between us."
"And here we are. Like I told you earlier." She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Now, what else is bothering you?"
He rolled his shoulder. "The darkness."
Aqua nodded. "We were brought up to believe it didn't have a place in our heart. But we know now, the both of us. We've seen darkness make a difference in our life, haven't we?" She squeezed his hands. "You need to train with Riku. And in no time, you'll be a Master."
"A Master, me?" He chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. "What makes you think—" He gasped as she pulled him down beside her in bed.
"Terra, please." She whispered. "You know there's three seats in the main hall. Who do you think can fill that third seat?"
His expression softened, and soon he wrapped his arms around her. She did the same, relaxing. "This reminds me of when we were little."
"Hm?"
"When I would get a nightmare, and I'd come to your room." She looked up at him. "I would hold you just like this. And you'd hold me just like this. And you'd tell me that you'd protect me from the darkness."
He chuckled, and silence filled the room.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
She laughed and leaned up, kissing his cheek. "You are too adorable." She watched him. "Terra. I can't sleep."
The realization dawned on him. "Then I'll protect you."
She smiled, kissing his cheek again. "Good. And I'll protect you too."
The two spent the evening talking. The talking turned to quiet, and finally the quiet gave way to sleep, the two holding each other in their arms.
The light of the new day greeted Terra as he trained among the wielders in the training yard. Ven would get excited and want to spar, and even Masters Riku and Aqua would test his strength.
But that strength wasn't guided by fear or anger at himself. It was a new determination to protect what mattered to him.
He didn't have to put up a facade any more wherever he went. He still held his head high and stepped forward with assurance, but this time it was true.
And whenever he looked at the three seats in the main chamber, he knew that one day he would sit alongside Riku and Aqua. It didn't matter when to him now; so long as he championed the ones that he loved, he would be there in no time.
