Pairing: Kaka/Saku sort of.
Anger was a funny thing.
For over 20 years, Kakashi had held onto a sometimes overwhelming anger and guilt at himself. All the people he ever cared about, all the death he'd brought upon others during his career as a shinobi- They were taught that it was all part of the job, a part of life. Even so, none of that had stopped him from blaming himself, hating himself.
And so every morning he went to the memorial, rain or shine, to sit and mourn, and silently berate himself for the loss that seemed to follow him everywhere. It had always been obvious to Kakashi that it was all his fault, and he had learned to keep people from getting too close to him-for their protection.
But, he was human, and like all humans, Kakashi was susceptible to slipping from the rules, no matter how much he tried to resist. And all it took was the sweet smile and scent of Haruno Sakura for his years of solitude to crumble. His ex-student had been able to wiggle her way into his life, and after a while, living without her felt like living without air.
Yet, even with her in his life, every morning he still went to that damned memorial and blamed himself over and over again.
But not anymore. With the death of the only woman he'd ever truly loved, Kakashi felt something in him shift. Maybe it was all the times Sakura had tried to convince him to stop blaming himself, or maybe it had all just gotten to be too much. But watching her die in his arms changed Hatake Kakashi irrevocably.
The anger was still there, more intense than ever, even, but for once it wasn't directed at himself. He was angry at the life they had all chosen. Angry at the fact that this world he was surviving in was so polluted by anger that shinobi were so necessary. Angry that it had all taken Sakura away from him.
And so he hadn't been to the memorial since the day she died. Hadn't blamed himself for her death, or Obito's, or Rin's, or his sensei's. Maybe it was her gift to him.
As the rain fell on him from where he stood atop the Hokage Monument, listening to the bell signaling a funeral for yet another life lost in their accursed existence, Kakashi hoped that someday, the anger would go away all together.
After all, anger was a funny thing, so anything was possible.
