Title: Amy in Wonder Land
Author: Didget
Fandom: Doctor Who, with the Eleventh Doctor.
Author Note: Firstly I don't own doctor who, like duh. Ok this is simply a long oneshot. I have spent far too much time on this. Kindly read it and review, tho no flames if you please.
Amy in Wonder Land
Amy warily walked through the halls, silently wielding her make shift weapon. Spinning suddenly, she arched her sword and sliced the robots head clean through. She continued down the hall, heading for her special garden. This garden was amazing, ever-green bushes shaped as eye glasses reaching beyond the roof. In there she could almost forget her pain, forget the betrayal and forget the doctor. The Raggedly Doctor, who left her at just seven years, outside in the cold. The same Doctor who forgot her for a year, than left her here. Not to die but live until she could fight no more. Quietly she eased the door open, welcoming the artificial breeze that swept the area. Yawning, she headed to a little alcove and prepared her dinner. Sometime after she had slowly drifted off into sleep, her body started to cool down.
'Faces, there were too many faces… She could see her parents… they were dying so slowly… fading away as the crack in wall engulfed the house, room by room… … She was waiting, she had to find the box… it was a really important box, but she didn't know why… it was a certain colour, she was sure… … everything started to slip away… her name, who she was… and why she was here… … she gasped, feeling the icy-cold bolt which injected her with poison… it engulfed her… burning through her body like fire… except it wasn't her body… and it wasn't fire… it was worse… she was in the wrong place… in a box… a blue box… there was something she must do with a box… but she couldn't remember… wait… the box was cracked… a crack with a bright, bright light behind it… she wanted to go with the light… but she shouldn't… and she didn't know why… why she was here… why they left her here… all alone… where was he… he made a vow… for what reason she couldn't recall… but it was white… but darker than the light… the bright, bright light… It was threating to overload her… why wasn't he back… this wasn't the first time, she was sure… the first time he left her… but he wouldn't, he promised… promised he would keep her safe… he lies whispers a lady… a lady with an eye patch… why couldn't she remember… who she was… she was important… he lied… her big idiot… why wasn't he here...'
Quite suddenly, Amy completely woke up. Sniffing and rubbing her eyes, Amy walked out of her alcove and into a trap. She was surrounded; the white robots had finally tracked her to her hideout. Running back to grab her sword, Amy tripped, and went flying through the air. Landing with a crunch on her left shoulder, she rolled around backwards and flipped herself to her feet. But she was too late, the endless robots advanced on her in the thousands. Thinking quickly Amy turned and ran, up a tree and into a hole in the roof. Silently ranting to herself, in her head, Amy gracefully jumped into another room. It was a lake, with eternal Californian sunshine and a never-ending row of palm trees. Squinting into the light, Amy saw a half destroyed robot lying on the path. Slowly walking towards it, with her sword at the ready, she poked it. It didn't move, even when she burn his weapon to dust. After thinking carefully, as she made her next meal, she started to re-program the robot. For nostalgic reasons she later decided to called it Rory. Using what was left of a charcoal stick she'd found, she drew a child's smiley face on the head and some ears.
Afterwards she sat back and stared at the robot, all the while wondering if she could go any crazier. Sighing she slipped into her makeshift bed and fell into a deep, painful sleep.
Amy awoke, tears silently pouring down her face. Reaching into the gloom, she felt around for her torch. She grabbed and missed, causing it to roll off the table and clatter onto the floor. Hissing an array of interesting swear-words she gracefully rolled off her bed and onto the springy grass. Stretching out, her hand grasps the edge of the pitted cylinder. Still muttering and hissing Amy crawled forward, keeping her head down in an effort not to hit it. Finally she managed to crawl out of her alcove, her thin fingers making spidery, leg-like shadows against the torches beam. As she grabbed it, a grandfather clock on the other side of the garden rang out three times. Amy froze and without warning ran for the lake.
Grimacing, Amy swam from one side of the lake to the other. Long, white and glowing, her legs shone in the moonlight. It was the first time she'd had a proper swim since she got here. It was the first time she'd felt safe since she'd got here, the first time in years. Time had passed, days passed, it felt like years she'.
After a couple of days, Amy started to swim whenever she could, her body becoming thin and lightly muscled. It was all she ever wanted to be as a teenager. All she ever wanted… All she ever wanted apart from her raggedly doctor. Tears starting to well up in her eyes, diving deeper, her memories began to overwhelm her. It was times like this she wanted to pretend they were still with her. Yes that's right, Rory was behind her, silently keeping up with her. While the doctor frolicked in the shallows and splashed River, who was happily sun baking on the shore. She could see it all in her mind, she had so many times before, a small part of her wishing she would again let herself make figurines of the others to play with. Suddenly furious with herself, Amy streaked off towards the shore. She was so angry she had started to hope they were coming back. That he was coming back… but he wasn't and she guessed she just had to accept it.
Frowning coldly at the Rory Bot, she roughly slapped her armour back on and stormed off. Without looking back she gestured for him to follow, to angry to care if he did or not.
Looking around at the fake world Amy realised she didn't know who she was. She had lost track of time, it passed so strangely. One minute it was day, the next it was midnight. Slowly her body began to adjust to the compressed time field. She no longer felt the urge to eat or sleep every night. Sometimes when she had the food she cooked herself a meal, sometimes she made dessert. Every time she made a cake she was reminded of Rory. Baking with Rory after every break up… She missed him so much, and wondered how she could ever think of another man. But she had, a small voice causally thinking about how the raggedly doctor would feel inside her. She had thought about it every time she kissed someone at her job and every time she had made love in the Tardis. That's when she wished she had Rory to bake with, because it felt he was forgiving her. Before all this Amy could always push away any feelings of guilt or self-hatred, she never felt like a whore just because she kissed and slept with random people. But now she did, choices she had made years before starting to drive her mad. She wished she had never slept with Tim or gotten pregnant when she was sixteen, seventeen or even nineteen. She also wished she had kept one, just one, because if she had a child, Rory would make the doctor come back for her sake. Then she could bake with her child, Rory and be happy… Without the doctor! because baking wouldn't be enough of a thrill for him.
Bitterly Amy jumped into the lake and swam until it was too dark to see. Her chest felt like ice, she could barely breathe but still she kept swimming, some part hoping she swam herself to death and that the doctor came back in time to find her frozen body.
When her limbs started to shake too much too even float, the Rory bot helped her out of the lake. After she finally stopped shaking she found some wine and drank it… She wished she had someone to drown her sorrows with, but she knew like always she only had herself. Hours later Amy sadly crawled into her sleeping bag and tried to sleep, crying as she remembered once again she was alone.
Amy turned in her sleep, her hands slipping around her throat like a shackle. Wishfully she remembered what sex felt like, how he felt inside her and wished she had thought to tell him… Tell him what… She couldn't remember… Her mind was going… It was simply too hard to … to remember… too hard to try… What's the point, when there's no reason to…? No reason to think… No reason to feel… No reason to exist… No reason… There never had been… He lied… They all did in the end… They lied like he used to… Any reason to believe in him, when there was none… Any reason to sleep with him, when she didn't really want to… All she wanted to do was rest… Sleep, sleep forever… Not worrying about whether they were coming or how she could escape… Just to sleep and never to wake…
She sat up with a start and wondered if she was crazy, knotting red hair in a bun, she walked in a circle. She was cold, cold to the bone. Bitterly she wished she would die, wished it wasn't so hard. She was so cold and empty, so empty, she didn't know if she was real enough anymore. She picked up her sword, looked at the blade. She wondered if she could kill herself in this fake reality… She put the blade back down and prepared to move her camp again. There was too much to do, she didn't have the energy to kill herself today.
