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Empty Eyes
He sat in the middle of the crowed guild, his head resting on the hard wood table as he felt the emptiness inside grow. He felt alone. So desperately alone. He always felt like this since Igneel disappeared, always, never once did he feel like there was another, he felt alone and he hated it. He would be in a crowd with people swarming on all sides, chattering and laughing, but he would feel like he was the only one there. The darkness making the people and sounds disappear and leaving him all alone.
His fist tightened slightly beside his head as he ignored Lucy's usual banter about her month's rent or something she found cute in a store or magazine. He ignored her as the lonesomeness kept growing and growing inside of him. He knew he wasn't alone; Lucy was in front of him with Erza and Wendy with Happy sitting on the table. Gray was beside him with Romeo, but he never felt so alone in his life before.
Wrong. He did feel more alone, only once before in his life and that was when Igneel disappeared without a goodbye, without a trace left behind. He didn't know why he suddenly felt this alone, it was out of the blue, but lately he felt it grow and grow along with the emptiness that swallowed everything up inside him.
"Natsu!" Lucy whined when she found the Dragon Slayer wasn't even paying attention. "Are you even paying attention to what I'm saying?" she asked with a huff of irritation. Her words fell on deaf ears for Natsu was alone in his own world. Lucy crossed her arms in annoyance as she called his name again. "Natsu! Geez! At least listen to me when I'm calling your name!" Gray looked at Natsu beside him with a lazy look before he drew his gaze slowly to Lucy.
"Leave him alone; he isn't even smart enough to even begin to understand what you are saying." Gray told her, expecting a retort from the male beside him. When he got none, he got slightly worried, but didn't dare voice it.
"Maybe Natsu-san's just tired?" Wendy perked up as she tried to reassure Lucy who looked kinda hurt at Natsu not listening to her. Happy shook his head at Wendy as he swallowed the last of his fish happily.
"Natsu went to bed early and woke up late like usually." he replied. Lucy paid no heed to the three as she nudged Natsu's arm that was in front of his face as if to wake him up from slumber.
"Natsu? Oi, Natsu!" Lucy called as she shook a little harder. Natsu blinked as he looked slightly up, forgetting to mask the emptiness in his eyes with fake happiness as he looked up at Lucy.
"What?" he asked in a monotone. Lucy looked taken aback as she stared into the charcoal eyes with wide surprised ones, drawing the attention of the other five around her.
"Natsu, what's wrong?" Happy asked in concern. Never in his life had he seen Natsu with this look in his eyes, and it made his heart ache. Natsu shrugged, wondering what made his friends suddenly so worried about him.
"Nothing." he replied as he sat up, pushing his chair behind him as he started to walk away. "Oi Happy, I'm going home early." Natsu called back in the same monotone, worrying his friends even more as they stared at his retreating back. Even once the guild doors closed behind the Dragon Slayer as he walked away, they still starred wondering what made that look of emptiness in his usual cheerful eyes.
The trek home was long and uneventful as Natsu kept his gaze always in front of him and on the stone path as it led him into the forest and to his small cottage. Once he stepped inside, he closed the front door as he turned the lock with a soft 'click' resonating through the dark cottage. With slow lethargic movements, Natsu moved over to the closest wall and slid slowly down as he hugged his legs tightly to his chest and placed his chin on his knees, starring at the messy wood floor before him with hazy eyes.
He hated this feeling, oh yes he hated it. But he lived with it every day and today was no exception.
