AN: This is an odd collection of tiny little ficlets I wrote a little while ago in the same sort of style as "Hearts", and with similar enough themes, to the point where I kind of consider it a pseudo-sequel of sorts. Warnings for character death, massive amounts of my Shinichi headcanon, things that don't quite understand how feelings work trying to cope with grief, and my continued belief that 2nd person POV is an interesting stylistic choice for exploring this.


Orihara is going to die someday and you're not quite sure how you feel about this.

He's only human. It's perfectly natural that someday he'll die, no matter how opposed he may be to the idea. Orihara will die and it's likely he'll die young, possibly in an alley somewhere with his throat cut, or with a bullet in the back of his skull, or dumped into the bay, or maybe even with his head caved in from Shizuo finishing the job just as he keeps threatening.

And even if he does somehow defy all odds and live to a ripe old age, Orihara will still die.

You won't.

It's a strange thing to dwell on, most people you're quite indifferent to. All people. All people save for him. He is that curiosity you cross swords with and the thought of it all ending, the thought of him dying, leaves you feeling...

Strange.

Considering feelings is a strange enough thing in itself. And maybe it's not strange that your feelings for him are what you find yourself considering the most. He is the anomaly. The chink in your armour. The scar in the shape of his name that he metaphorically carved into you.

You watch him through the cameras in his office sometimes. Or the webcam in his laptop. Sometimes when he's out and about you just commandeer whatever camera is handy. You have been for a while, although you tell yourself that you don't do it often.

You do it often enough that you can see the little differences from when you first started. He's getting older. He may claim to be forever twenty-one but he's slowly creeping up on thirty and sometimes when it's late and he hasn't been sleeping enough it shows. No matter how well he takes care of himself he cannot freeze time.

You try to imagine what things will be like when the inevitable happens. Ikebukuro will likely be more peaceful than it has been in over a decade. There will always be trouble, of course, but not Orihara's particular brand of it. Things will be quiet.

Maybe a little dull.

You will be alone again.

And this time it's likely you'll notice it far more.