I don't own Bleach. Possibly triggering material involving mental illness, self injury. This is AU yaoi fanfiction and will be the first of many one-shots.

Separation Anxiety:

Inspired by a real conversation

Ichigo knows that he's never seen anything so beautiful than the moonlight softly outlining Uryuu naked, pale skin as he sits up from the couch extending bother arms as he stretches wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants. The shadows behind him extend like the wings of an angel. Beautiful. No matter how much he protests, Ichigo will always consider him so. He tosses his coat on the nearest chair and takes off his shoes, letting Uryuu get his bearings before they speak.

"You didn't have to wait up." Ichigo says quietly with a smile. Uryuu runs a hand through his hair giving him that small laugh that would've been derisive all but a few years ago.

"But I did." He replied, never missing a beat as always. Ichigo strides to the couch and embraces Uryuu and is embraced in return. He could sense it before they even said anything else. With Uryuu clutching to him, digging his nails into his shirt and burying his face into his neck, Ichigo quickly sifts through the memory bank labeled "Uryuu's Quirks" and surmises that something is wrong. He pulls back carefully before Uryuu can kiss him hello and holds him by the shoulders. "What it is it?"

"Nothing." Uryuu replies, too tried to bother with being evasive. It's after midnight. Late hour be damned, something was seriously wrong. "I just missed you. You were gone for two weeks. It's a long time for a new couple, don't you think?" It's not a slight. If it were, Uryuu would make eye contact with him. Instead, he just gets up, gathering the sheets and pillow from their tiny sofa. Ichigo stops him, sensing the desperation and maybe even a hint of fear surrounding the lover he is so glad to come home to.

"Are you angry with me?" He asks. Wrong question.

"What kind of question is that?" The response sets them in the middle of a dangerous minefield. Conversations like this could end in one of them exploding and leaving. "You just got back. Why in the world would I be upset?" In other words, don't give me a reason to be upset.

"I'm sorry." Uryuu seems even more hurt now, but Ichigo continues. "But I know something's wrong, I figured I'd ask and get it out of the way." Uryuu relaxes but that frown is still there.

"Don't apologize." Uryuu replies quietly. His soft tone is like a small needle to the chest and Ichigo instinctively reaches out for Uryuu who instinctively steps just out of his reach. Ichigo waits as the other silently chastises himself and places the blankets and pillow aside to accept the embrace once again. Once his arms around him, Ichigo realizes that Uryuu is shaking. He gives him a moment before speaking again.

"Did something happen?" he asks. He only response is silence for the moment. This usually means yes. Ichigo waits another two moments before asking once more. "Please tell me that you'll let me help you this time." He is not about relive the incident with Dr. Kurotsuchi. Ichigo buries his face in Uryuu's fine hair and sighs, hoping for a response. For now, Uryuu hasn't let go or stepped back which is a good sign. Ichigo waits and can feel the weight descending on the both of them before Uryuu finally responds.

"I've...been having nightmares." Ichigo's heart falls into his chest. Guilt forces his arms tighter around his lover of four years. Uryuu has struggled with Depression for years and he knows that his absence didn't help. Uryuu had assured him that he would be fine alone but Ichigo now knows he just wanted him to go without feeling guilty.

"Why didn't you call me?" Ichigo laments. "All you had to do was call and I would've come running." Now Uryuu steps back but he's still within reach.

"I won't jeopardize your future because I can't sleep at night." Ichigo hates it when Uryuu attempts to make his illness sound as unimportant as possible.

"You know it's more than that." Ichigo replies almost warningly. It has always been more and the nightmares, the old scars of self inflicted wounds running up and down Uryuu's arms and the lingering bottle of generic anti-depressants sitting on the are bathroom sink are quite enough to attest to that. "Did you call Ayasegawa-san at least?" Uryuu glues his eyes to the ground. Ichigo sighs, sounding irritated but that's not his intention. Uryuu knows he didn't. He doesn't let it bother him.

"I can't be his burden anymore, running to him every time..." Ichigo can't take this.

"Stop it." He's pleading with him gazing right into those blue eyes. He can see the ruptured blood vessels now. His hands take Uryuu by the shoulders. He can feel the weight loss without even asking. He's disappointed but not enough to scold him. He's mostly worried. "Uryuu, don't go back to that place." That Place is a dark, shadowy corner of Uryuu's mind that convinces him that he's nothing but dead weight, a burden that doesn't deserve the attention he gets. In his worst moments, Uryuu can swear he can hear his father's voice belittling him from beyond that grave. "You're not a burden. Not to me." Ichigo shakes him a little just to prove his point. Those red rimmed eyes close and Uryuu's forehead falls back to Ichigo's shoulder. The silence settles between them for an untraceable amount of time. Uryuu finally gets to the heart of the matter.

"I missed you so much." The statement is far more profound than the previous one. Ichigo feels his arms wrapping tighter around Uryuu before he even realizes he's doing it. He had only been gone for two weeks but he should've considered Uryuu's condition no matter what he said. "I'm sorry." Uryuu says softly. "I just...I thought I was getting better and..." Uryuu looks back up to Ichigo's eyes, full of the stability and consistency he's craved his whole life. They sit down on the couch together. "I'm tired of going backwards, Ichigo."

"Do you want to set an appointment with Dr. Unohana?" Ichigo asks, knowing he's treading into dangerous territory suggesting that Uryuu go back to the psychiatrist. Uryuu doesn't respond with anger instead he leans his tired head on Ichigo's shoulder and buries his face into the crook of Ichigo's neck.

"No, I just...I just need you here with me." Uryuu already sounds a little more at ease. Ichigo smiles and before he knows it, he lets out a nosy yawn. He checks the clock and it's nearly two am. Uryuu lets out that small chuckle Ichigo knows so well. He doesn't sound "better" but he knows that Uryuu will be sleeping peacefully tonight. He would see to it personally. "So much noise, Kurosaki." Ichigo smiles and grabs the blanket and pillow from the floor. "The bed's in the other room." Uryuu sounds too sleepy to be snarky. Ichigo feels exactly the same as the two lay back down on the couch.

"Don't feel like moving." He muttered burying his face into Uryuu's sweet smelling hair. Garnier Fructise Revive Conditioner, sandalwood bath soap and just the faintest hint of nicotine. Ichigo wraps his arms around Uryuu's decidedly thin frame. "Uryuu?'

"Hm...?" He was just about ready to go back to sleep.

"I missed you too." Ichigo can feel Uryuu smile before he responds.

"I love you."

"I love you too." In the back of his mind, Ichigo is still concerned for his significant other. The weight loss, the nightmares...he couldn't simply ignore it. Hearing the soft, small snores coming from the other man, Ichigo smiles and closes his eyes.

They'd talk in the morning.

Please review. Thank you for reading.