"Look at him. Look at him! Look how close we are! Other people will die if I don't finish this!"

"Think about it. Think about what we know, huh? Pulling souls from hell, curing demons, hell, ganking a Hellhound! We have enough knowledge on our side to turn the tide here. But I can't do it without you."

"You can barely do it with me. I mean, you think I screw up everything I try. You think I need a chaperone, remember?

"Come on, man. That's not what I meant."

"No, it's exactly what you meant. You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can't do that again."

"Sam-"

"What happens when you've decided I can't be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another - another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just-"

"Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it - none of it - is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy...come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed Mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you."

"How do I stop?"

"Just let it go."

"I can't. It's in me, Dean. You don't know what this feels like."

"Hey, listen, we will figure it out, okay, just like we always do. Come on."

"Come on. Let it go, okay? Let it go, brother."

Dean pulled Sam to him in a hug and neither let go for a long time. Then Sam coughed and Dean remembered how sick his brother was. Placing Sam's arm around his neck, he wrapped his arm around Sam's waist and began helping him out of the church and to the car. "Hang on, Sammy. Please, just hang on. I'm gonna take care of you, I promise."

They got to the car and Dean carefully folded his brother into the passenger seat. Sam slumped over, his head in the driver's seat. Dean closed the door and rushed around to the driver's side. He opened the door and gently lifted Sam so he could slip in. Once he was seated, he gently let Sam's head fall back onto his leg and started the car. As he drove them back to the bunker Sam's words kept playing over and over again in his mind. "What happens when you've decided I can't be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another - another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just-"

He really thinks I put Cas before him, he thought. Then his mind evilly responded, don't you? He thought back to just hours ago when Cas had approached him to go with him and leave Sam with Crowley. He'd gone. He hadn't even questioned it, he'd just gone. He'd known Sam wasn't 100% and he'd gone anyway. So that's where he got that idea, he thought as guilt in the form of bile rose in his throat. He swallowed hard and gently put his hand on his brother's head. Sam let out a moan and Dean shushed him, whispering nonsense to his sick brother to let him know that he was still there.

They arrived at the bunker and Dean managed to get his brother out of the car. Instead of taking Sam to his own room, Dean situated Sam in his room where he could better keep an eye on him. After getting Sam into some more comfortable clothes, he hurried around getting the meds and first aid items he'd need to nurse Sam back to health.

An hour later, Sam was sleeping fitfully with Dean right beside him in a chair. Dean opened his eyes suddenly and was startled by a figure standing in the room watching them. He jumped up, gun at the ready, to face the threat. "Cas," Dean breathed, relieved. "How many times have I told you don't sneak up on people like that. I nearly blew your head off."

"I am sorry, Dean. We must talk."

"Now?"

"Yes. I need you to come with me."

"You're kidding right? Have you taken a look at my brother recently? I can't leave him."

"Sam will be fine for the amount of time we will be gone. We must hurry."

Dean turned and looked at Cas, then heard a weak voice. "Go on, Dean. I'll be fine." Dean turned to stare at his brother. Sam was awake and watching them. His expression was unreadable but Dean could see the sadness in his eyes. Dean could practically read his brother's thoughts. Once again, Dean's going to choose Cas over me. I can't blame him; I've spent my entire life disappointing him, but just once, I wish things would get back to the way the were before. When I was the most important thing in Dean's life.

Dean looked at Sam and his own words played back. The words he'd used to convince Sam to stop. "Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it - none of it - is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy...come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed Mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you."

Dean made his decision. "Cas, go."

"Dean, please, it's okay. Just go," Sam begged.

Dean shook his head firmly. "No, Sam. Not this time. Cas, you heard me. Go. I can't come with you right now."

"Dean you don't understand. This could be..."

Dean whirled on him. "Could be what, Cas? A matter of life or death? Have you LOOKED at my brother lately? Don't you come here talking to me about 'life or death' when my brother is this sick. His life matters more to me than anything else and he comes first from now on. Now get your feathery ass out and don't come back unless you can either heal Sam completely or you've figured out a way to do it."

Dean turned away from Cas and went to Sam's side. "Shh...it's alright little brother. I'm not going anywhere. Go back to sleep. I'll wake you in a couple of hours." He put his hand on his brother's head and Sam leaned into it gratefully. He closed his eyes and was asleep in minutes.

"Dean..." Cas tried again.

Dean turned slightly and Cas was startled at the expression on Dean's face. It was lethal. Cas stepped back uncertainly. "Do you know what my brother said to me tonight? He thinks I trust you more than I trust him. That I put you before him. Do you know what he confessed back there? What he thinks his greatest sin was? Disappointing me. Turns out," Dean said with a bitter laugh, "I'm the one who's been disappointing him for years now. Every time I put someone or something ahead of him I broke him just a little bit more. I won't do that again. Not ever. Sam comes first and he's damn well going to know it from now on. So get out. I won't tell you again."

Cas looked at Dean then at Sam, asleep under Dean's hand. "I am sorry. I wish you'd reconsider."

"And I wish you'd start thinking about someone else for a change and what their priorities might be. For an angel, you are the most selfish son of a bitch I've ever met. Leave. I am not available until Sam is well. Even then, you work with both of us or neither of us and you understand that Sam comes first regardless of the 'assignment' you have for us. If Sam gets hurt, all bets are off. I think you'll find, when Sam is back to his usual self, that he feels the same way about me."

Cas nodded and said quietly, "perhaps I underestimated your loyalty toward each other. Fine. I will leave. If I find a way to heal Sam, I will let you know."

"Thanks. Bye Cas."

Cas disappeared. When he arrived at his destination he felt rather empty. The bond he'd had with Dean seemed gone, but it was back where it should have always been in the first place. With Sam, his brother.