AN: I know I'm crazy for starting this. This entire story is told through Rose's diary. Please tell me what you think. Will continue if I get a good response. Please read and review! Also, I'm looking for a beta. Please PM me if you'd like to help.

The Art of Denial

Chapter One: Of Mates, Madness, and Malfoy

My Bedroom

August 30th

What the hell?

You know how sometimes you get news-and it's just so bloody shocking or horrible that you wonder if this is really happening or if it's a really really bad dream? And then you wonder if life is just a dream, and you're living out your whole life in your head, and maybe the universe doesn't even really exist, and it's only in your head?

Or maybe that's just me.

Anyway. They're mad. They really are. I just heard it from Hugo, who heard it from Lily, who heard it from Al-Scorpius bleeding Malfoy is Head Boy. And no, it's not the whole Weasleys-hate-Malfoys thing, because no, Scorpius doesn't annoy me because he's a Malfoy. Al is Scorpius's best friend and Scorpius isn't always awful, y'know he's okay when he's not being an arrogant arse. Which is of course, most of the time. So they're mad. They really are. They made me Head Girl, after all.

Unfortunately they're not the only mad ones-everyone I know is mad.

When I told my best mates, Elizabeth Hale and Emma Davis that Scorpius Malfoy is Head Boy:

Elizabeth Hale: He'll make a really good Head Boy. Aren't you glad it's Scorpius you're working with, and not, like say Evan Macmillan?

Well, yes, I am glad that I'm not working with Macmillan-that pompous prat. Damn it. I hate when Liz makes sense (that's all the time). Sometimes I think I want mates that are just as mad as I am. Liz is mad, but not in the should-be-locked-up-in-St. Mungo's-way that I'm mad, if you get my drift. Around Liz, I just seem insane, but if I picked up a few even madder mates-well. I might have a shot at looking relatively normal. Where does one find extremely mad mates?

Elizabeth's the rather studious type. As Hermione Weasley's daughter, I should be the studious type, but I'm not really anymore. I used to be the studious type, but I've just been going on a downward trajectory since like fifth year. How the bleeding hell did I make Head Girl, of all things? She's also rather pretty. Actually not rather pretty, but really pretty. She's got long light blonde hair and light blue eyes, kind of like a Barbie. And she's cute and short, like five three or whatever. Merlin, am I jealous.

Emma Davis: He's Head Boy? Scorpius Malfoy has it all, I mean he's extremely fit, athletic, and has brains. If I wasn't such good mates with him, I would totally consider doing him!

Emma's not the studious type. If Elizabeth is categorized as a do-gooder, Emma is just a troublemaker. She's always coming up with insane ideas (like that time we snuck into the office of a Defense professor we completely despised and left rude spray painted messages at 3 AM), and is just as outwardly insane as I am, so I suppose I'm rather lucky to have her. She's got more detentions that Emma and I combined over the last seven years. Emma lives for boys, Quidditch, and her best mates (Liz and me). Hopefully. Like Liz, Emma's also rather pretty. Really pretty, actually. She has long dark straight hair and bright green eyes. She's also tall-like five nine. She looks like a model.

Unlike my two perfect mates, I'm rather imperfect. Emma and Liz say that they're jealous of my hair, but I don't see why. My hair is flaming red, and a wild, frizzy beast 99% of the time. My mother helped save the world, and she can't even tame my hair. My eyes are nice, but a plain blue, not at all like Liz's eyes. My skin is ghost white, unlike my two mates who have skin that tans rather well. I'm five five, which is well, not short and not tall. Not only am I rather mad, I'm also rather average-not ugly though-in the looks department.

Emma: Plus Scorpius is rather fit. Any other girl would kill to be in your position.

Goodness, am I the only person left that hasn't been infected with the Scorpius Malfoy loving virus? Someone better start experimenting with my blood for the cure, as I seem to be the only person immune.

You might be like, hey, Rose, why don't you like this Scorpius bloke as much as everyone else seems to? He seems like a decent person. He is...sometimes. Al has terrible taste in girls, movies, clothes, etc. but his taste in friends is decent. Scorpius is just…annoying, but we're sort of friends, by virtue of the fact that he's always around. But we don't get along all that well. Frenemies by association? Yeah, Rose, just keep on being vague and contradictory like that. He is pretty arrogant and thinks that he's God's gift or whatever. He's beating me in Transfiguration, although, let's face it, a lot of people are beating me in that subject. I can't believe I'm still in NEWT level Transfiguration. That, my friends, is a real bloody miracle.

He's always bickering (flirting? According to Emma and Lily at least) with me, even though he has his flavor-of-the-month or Sophie Sumners on his arm. Emma doesn't get why I don't like him for that. My point is he's disrespecting those girls.

Emma: How is your women's rights crusade more fun than the crazy sex you could be having with Scorpius?

Liz: Emma!

Emma: What? Is it not true? Scorpius obviously likes her.

Me: So not true.

Emma: I thinks the lady doth protest too much.

Me: Quoting is Liz's thing. Besides, you mangled it.

Liz: It's "the lady doth protest too much, methinks"

Emma: That's what I said! Where the bloody hell is this quote from anyway?

Liz: Hamlet

Emma: Who?

Liz: It's not a who, I mean it is, but this quote is from play by Shakespeare.

Emma: Who?

Me: Perhaps you should take Muggle Studies

Emma m'dear, Scorpius doesn't like me. He likes a challenge, and likes to get under my skin.

Hogwarts Express

September 1st

Well. I feel quite guilty now. Shall I recap on what happened? I was waiting for my cousins or my mates, when I saw Scorpius Malfoy. Y'know, my flirty friend-but-not-actual-friend. We exchanged pleasantries, he made a comment about getting Head Boy yada yada yada…and then I may have gone off on him for no apparent reason. I think I may have said something about him not deserving Head Boy, his arrogance, I mentioned something about disrespecting his "girlfriends", and the real kicker is the part I threw in about his ex-Death Eater father. Yeah. Nice one, Rose. I could tell by his face that he was pretty hurt. As one would be if one was accused of following in his ex-Death Eater father's footsteps. We had that stupid meeting in the Prefect carriage-with Malfoy throwing me side eye the whole time. I could tell that the other prefects noticed the tension. If we weren't careful, we would have a revolt on our hands. I saw Sienna bloody Meadows and Josh Corner whispering to each other after the meeting. While yeah, they could be talking about something totally unrelated, but who's not to say that they were talking about strategy. Strategy to stage a coup to unseat me and Scorpius from our titles!

"What the bloody hell did you say to Scorpius?" Emma asked me as soon as I stepped into the compartment. "He looks seriously pissed, Rosie."

"I accidentally said some stuff I shouldn't have said," I said. "Can we, just, like not talk about it?"

"Scorpius is actually a really good bloke. A really fit bloke. Why the bloody hell do you always start stuff with him?" Emma asked, tapping her foot. That's kind of just something Emma does all the time. It gets bloody annoying sometimes, but that girl just has too much energy.

I shot her a withering look.

"I don't. Honestly it's not like he's a saint. He's said some shite to me!" I argued.

Try hearing 'your hair looks like it's on fire'. Every day. For the past six years. And, does that sound like a bloke who fancies me?

"Fine, I'll give you this, but you just went off on him randomly! You need to apologize!" Emma replied.

"Bite me, Davis," I said dryly.

"Oh, I will," Emma said lowly, with fluttered eyelids.

"Leave her alone, Em," Liz said. "How was Paris?" she asked Emma.

"Sweet Merlin, it was glorious. I met some of the most gorgeous French boys," Emma rambled on, describing the various snogs she experienced-in detail.

"Those shoes, are they new?" I asked Liz after Emma finished with, "My lips may never be the same again, sweet Merlin!"

"Yeah. What do you guys think?" Liz asked, flexing and pointing her chunky sea-foam green sandals. Personally, I hate sea foam green-and so does Emma. We oohed and aahed, though, like we do every time Liz drags a new pair of shoes home. That girl has a serious shoe-fetish.

Emma eventually fell asleep, while Liz dragged her book, Pride and Prejudice, her absolute favorite out. Personally, I think Darcy is an absolute arse. I don't exactly see why Lizzie Bennet fell for him.

Sophie Sumners and her evil minion, Sienna Meadows (also known as the prefect staging the coup with Josh Corner) decided to grace us with their presence. Sumners is evil-and totally beautiful in a bombshell blonde sort of way. She's all golden curls, golden skin, statuesque, with curves. I actually think Meadows is prettier in a more exotic sort of way, I suppose. She's got dark brown, almost black hair, olive skin, and light amber eyes. I think she's part African, Dutch, and Scottish, which is so much cooler than being Irish and English, which is the norm around here. I'm Irish and English, so yes, I'm ordinary in every way.

"Why if it isn't Rose Weasley," she simpered, while twirling a blonde lock of hair. "By the way, the purple shirt? Totally the wrong color for you."

"Oh, shove off, Sumners. You're not wanted here," Emma said, waking up from her nap.

"You know, one day, Davis you'll finally realize that there's a right crowd and a wrong crowd," Sumners said. By wrong crowd, I suppose she meant me. She's hated me since day one for no apparent reason.

"Stop it, Sumners. I've known you since we were in diapers, and if you consider yourself the right crowd, you're sadly mistaken," Emma said harshly. The Davis family is an old pureblood Slytherin family, so they've been friends with the Sumners family and Malfoy family for years. Emma grew up with Sumners and Scorpius. Emma and Sumners have never liked each other, while Emma and Scorpius are good friends. It does drive Emma crazy that I don't get along particularly well with Scorpius, but Emma is thrilled that I don't like Sumners. I try, alright? It's not like I don't try. I don't try to be a complete bitch, there's just something about his personality that just…drives me nuts.

"You'll learn your lesson, one day, Davis," she said walking off.

What a bitch.

Joint Common Room

September 1st

You know, I've never fully appreciated this joint common room until like…now. Because no doubt Sumners and her best friend (evil minion) Meadows are in the Gryffindor Common Room right now, so I can hang out in somewhere that's not the library, or in Al and Scorpius's Common Room. The dungeon isn't exactly the most relaxing place.

Oh hell, I see Scorpius sitting on a couch, doing an essay, while eating that disgusting sour candy by the fire. I'm much more of a chocolate kind of person. Chocolate is not just a comfort food to me. Chocolate is my food. Time to suck up my pride and…apologize. Ugh.

Still in the Joint Common Room

September 1st

The only way I can describe that conversion is…ugh.

I...don't even know.

Wow. Informative. Nice one, Rose Weasley.

"Hey, Scorpius, can we talk?" I asked, hesitantly, as I stepped on a crumpled piece of parchment and fell down. "Shite!" I screeched.

"Bloody hell, watch where you're going. You might have said some awful things to me, but I don't really fancy being the cause of your death. And no, we can't talk. I don't really fancy being called an ex-Death Eater, so save it," he said icily.

"Look, Scorpius, I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't mean those things," I mumbled.

"Really, Rose? Don't pretend you haven't thought those things for the past few years," he said shortly.

"No, I haven't. Why the bloody hell would I be friends with you if I thought those things?" I felt so…logical. So Liz.

"Because of your cousin? Al? Your mate, Emilia?"

Emma's full name is actually Emilia. Scorpius weirdly calls everyone by their full names, except for Al. Al pitches a hissy fit every time someone calls him Albus. Poor kid-saddled with an unfortunate name for life. I'm always wondering what the bloody hell Uncle Harry was thinking. Lily is the complete opposite of Scorpius-she only calls people by nicknames. And not normal nicknames like "Rosie" or "Liz". She called Emma "Slag Queen" for about a week, as per Emma's request.

My mates truly are weird-but not weird enough to make me look normal so there's that.

"Please, you think I would be friends with someone just because my cousin and best mate are friends with them? I don't think of you as an ex-Death Eater. I do want to be your friend," I said. I didn't realize what I said, until I said it. It was true. Wow. I do want to be friends with Scorpius Malfoy. I mean, before, I always thought that I was only friends with him by association and because Al and Emma wanted me to be, but I do really want to be friends with him. That's new.

"You actually want to be my friend?" he asked blankly.

"I know you don't think so because we argue, but I like the bickering. Don't try and pretend you don't," I scoffed. Bickering with Scorpius is fun, but I didn't realize that I liked it that much until now. Wow, it's been a day of realizations.

"I wasn't going to. You, however, are usually the expert on denial so I am surprised that you owned up to liking my company, Rose Weasley. Nice to hear that you're growing out of that little habit," he smirked.

"Denial? Denial? I am not the expert on denial!" I exclaimed. "Anyway, this is not what I came here to do. Am I forgiven? Y'know for the sake of our prefects. We'll have a revolt on our hands if we don't figure things out," I said.

He rolled his eyes. "Forgiven. By the way, I can't believe you're in denial about usually being in denial. That's just talent."

I guess I'm now friends for real with Scorpius? Wow.

I don't even know what to think about that conversation. I'm thinking and thinking and thinking and I'm just…so confused. The expert on denial? How the bloody hell am I the expert on denial?

I've got to ask Liz and Emma.

Denial? I am not in denial!

Gryffindor 7th Year Girls Dormitory

September 1st

I recapped for the conversation for Liz and Emma.

Their paraphrased reactions courtesy of Rose Weasley:

Liz: Well that's good! I'm glad you guys are good now.

Me: No, that's not my point! What the bloody hell did he mean with-with all of those comments?

Liz: Rosie, m'dear, I think you're over analyzing

Emma just laughed and laughed and laughed.

Emma: Well he hit the nail on the head. You are the queen of denial, although not exactly in the way Scorpius meant. Don't worry, my dear Rosie, you will see the light one day.

For Sale: An overly energetic mad Quidditch-loving, Scorpius-loving delusional mate named Emilia.

Warning: Drags you into insane stunts that will leave you in detention, is overly meddlesome (Scorpius and I would make a terrible couple, really), and leaves strange cryptic hints.

Some More Reactions from Other Dorm Mates:

Fortunately, Sumners and Meadows were too busy comparing shades of nail polish or whatever to listen. Sumners is so overprotective and possessive of Scorpius, it's scary even though they're not actually dating right now.

Katie Greene: That's so sweet.

Me: Sweet? Denial? How the ruddy hell is that sweet?

Maybe Katie Greene has finally gone completely loony. If Katie really has gone mad, then she'll also be sent to the madhouse. Maybe we can room together...

Katie: Malfoy could be your Prince Charming. Haven't you ever thought about that?

Me: Bloody hell, no.

Katie: So Malfoy was right. You are in denial.

Me: Bloody hell, not you too

Elena Armstrong: Don't listen to Katie. It's good that you're just friends. Love just ends in heartbreak. And I don't get why you're so worked up about that denial comment.

Alexia Vance: TBD. Too busy meditating to listen.

Rose (The Queen of Denial) fell asleep so I'll just take it from here. I think I'll tell Lily that her new nickname can be 'Queen of Denial' or 'Denial' for short. But really, wouldn't she and Scorpius make an amazing couple? And oh bloody hell she's waking up-Emma

Note to Self: Tell Lily tomorrow morning to disregard anything Emma says about my so-called denial

Gryffindor 7th Year Girls Dormitory

September 2nd

I had a funny dream. I went to Divination, but instead of Professor Trelawney teaching us, it was Scorpius. Yeah. Professor Malfoy. He started reading my palm, and told me that I was going to fall madly in love with a snake, and then he turned into a teapot.

Where is my copy of The Dream Oracle?

Note to Self: Find The Dream Oracle, and find out if this dream is some sort of bad sign. Is it a bad sign if you see your new mate turn into a teapot in your dream?

Great Hall

September 2nd

"Hey, Queen of Denial! I barely got to see you yesterday!" Lily shouted as soon as I walked in.

Everyone currently eating breakfast turned and stared at me. Even some of the professors were staring. Oh, hi Professor McGonagall.

This has to be karma.

"What's up, Denial?" the soon to be corpse known as Emilia asked.

"Are we all calling her that now?" a random fourth year asked. At first glance, I didn't think I knew that girl, but then I realized who it was. The Library Hermit. If the Library Hermit of all people managed to catch on to this stupid nickname, I do not want to see who else is going to.

Staircase

September 2nd

I ended up finished breakfast early (pancakes really are the shite) and walking back to the dormitory alone-and tripped on the stairs.

"Lost your balance, there?" Scorpius said as he approached. Scorpius Malfoy has an uncanny knack of popping up at all the wrong times. It's like he lives just to annoy me.

"I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor-and look! I'm winning," I said while sprawled on the staircase.

"Whatever you say...O' Queen of Denial," Scorpius smirked, and helped me up.

"Thanks," I mumbled, grasping his hand to stand up.

"See you in Divination, Cleopatra," he said as he walked away.

Cleopatra? What? Where the bloody hell did he even get that from? Scorpius Malfoy is officially the most confusing person I've ever met-or at least top ten.

Karma. This has to be karma. Scorpius doesn't do nicknames, for heaven's sake, he calls his old childhood friend, Emilia instead of Emma like everyone else!

You know, if I moved to say, Antarctica, I would not have to deal with confusing blokes, bad nicknames, or NEWTs. I could live in a little igloo with my pet penguins...

Note to Self: Murder Emilia Davis-slowly. Very very slowly.

Divination

September 2nd

I wonder if Trelawney knows how much we're not paying attention. I'm much more invested in analyzing the encounter I had with Scorpius on the stairwell than in her long ramble about clairvoyance and the ripples in the time continuum that are affecting our perception of the future. Liz is only half paying attention-not taking down every little word like she usually does. Honestly, Liz always copies every little word down-including the extra reading material. She color codes her notes and homework. Her organization skills are scary, really. Liz is the type of girl that has all of her things perfectly folded-even her socks-in her trunk. Emma's head is on the table, she's about to fall asleep, her quill in her mouth. Ew. Emma's got to stop chewing on her quills. That whole conversation on the staircase-well . Where to start? Queen of Denial? Cleopatra? And should I even be mates with him? He's played a lot of mean pranks on me, and we argue a lot. He's also been a total arse , can anyone really change that much? I might want to be mates with him, but just because I want it, doesn't mean it's good for me. Like chocolate, really.

Scorpius Malfoy is like my chocolate.

God, I'm mad.

Reasons I Should Be Mates with Scorpius Malfoy

1. It would make Al and Emma very very happy (really Emma might just die of joy)

2. It would make my life easier-no looking for my shoulder in anticipation of a well-aimed jinx from him in the halls

3. Bickering with him is actually fun

4. He actually is clever. And smart.

5. He's good at Transfiguration. I need all the help I can get in that class.

6. It would piss Sumners off. Scorpius and Sumners are good friends, they even dated but broke up, she's bloody obsessed with him, (actually maybe I shouldn't be friends with him-he hasn't got very good taste…then again he's friends with Emma and Al), and she hates me. She would be livid if she saw her mortal enemy and the guy that she's totally obsessed with starting to be mates.

7. I want to be mates with him. I really do.

Reasons I Shouldn't Be Mates with Scorpius Malfoy

1. What if he was only pretending to forgive me, and he's planning a very elaborate revenge scheme?

2. You know what they say, friends close, enemies closer. By letting him in, all I'm doing is making it easier for him to enact his revenge.

If I am right, and he does enact his elaborate revenge scheme, all hell will literally break loose. First of all, Al would be forced to get revenge back on him. James would probably help. As James has dabbled in the illegal grey area for pranks/revenge before, their revenge on Scorpius will probably be illegal. Scorpius will use him family connections at the Ministry to land those two idiots in Azkaban. Without Al and James, there wouldn't be anyone to scare all the boys away from Lily. She'll just about go insane, ending up a pregnant STI infected woman in the madhouse.

Poor Harry and Ginny-two sons as convicts and one pregnant, STI infected, insane daughter. They'll probably move to Romania with Uncle Charlie to escape this mess.

Lily is Hugo's best friend. He'll just about go insane without her. I'm pretty sure Lily is the only reason Hugo's not dying/dead/in Azkaban/failing school. He's been so depressed that he ends up enacting another revenge scheme on Scorpius for starting this huge mess and end up in Azkaban as well. Hugo's not cut out for life in Azkaban. He really isn't. I mean, he starts crying if he sees a spider. I'm pretty sure a spider would be the least of someone's worries in prison. So Hugo's definitely not surviving Azkaban.

Dad will enact some sort of childish revenge on the Malfoy family, who, with their extensive Ministry connections, will get Dad sent to Azkaban, with Mum as an accessory, even though all Dad did was turn Draco's hair purple, or something equally as lame.

Weirdly enough James is the more sensible out of him and Fred, so Fred will probably do something so incredibly stupid with James in Azkaban. He'll probably end up dead.

Lily will get out of the madhouse soon enough, and she won't have taken her OWLs or NEWTs and Hogwarts won't want a pregnant, STI infected, insane student, so she'll end up a prostitute working at a brothel. Roxie will probably try to join Lily out of loneliness, so she'll work at the brothel.

George and Angelina will have one dead son and one prostitute daughter. They will probably take up alcohol to get rid of the pain and shame.

Molly will change her last name and move far, far away so she can keep pursuing her dream of working at the Ministry, and not have herself tainted by being related to a bunch of convicts, prostitutes, and alcoholics. Her stalker slash ex-boyfriend will probably follow her to wherever she's gone. The only reason he hasn't harassed her to death is because of her cousins, but since most are gone...Molly will go off the wall and probably Avada Kedavra him, landing herself in prison. Lucy likes to follow Molly, so she'll probably find some way to get herself locked up. At this point, it is inevitable that Percy and Audrey will be fired from their jobs at the Ministry. They'll likely drink themselves silly with George and Angelina to escape the shame of being Weasley's.

Dom, who will still think Scorpius is quite fit, will be disowned for visiting the person that has destroyed my entire family. She'll be cast off to Romania to live with Uncle Charlie. Louis, who I'm sure will miss Dom very much, will also run off to Romania. Victoire will run off to Turkey with Teddy just to get away from this mess.

Uncle Bill and Aunt Fleur will go crazy missing their children and other family members. To be with part of his family, Bill will get himself convicted. Fleur will be depressed, because the people that actually like her are dead/convicted, and she'll be stuck with Grandma Molly, who still doesn't like her all that much. She'll jump off a bridge.

Maybe I shouldn't be mates with Scorpius.

Still in Divination

September 2nd

Why do we bother with this class?-Rose

I wish I knew-Liz

Trelawney is a riot-Emma

She's depressing

I should ask Trelawney where she got those shoes

This is the one class we can make up our homework and still get full credit

True, my dear, Emilia, very true

Quick! She's coming over! Look productive!

Do not call me Emilia. Fuck no, I don't even know what the bloody hell we're supposed to be doing

How about a game of Fuck, Marry, Kill? I think we're supposed to be working on our star charts. And you let Scorpius call you Emilia

Great idea

Well Scorpius has known me since we were in diapers and has been calling me Emilia since we could talk. It's highly difficult to break sixteen years of habit, my dear Rosie

The Weasley, Davis, & Hale rendition of Fuck, Marry, Kill: 7th Year Divination Edition

Why is my name last? And your's first?

Why are you so bloody formal? Anyway, Al Potter, Sienna Meadows, and Jenny O'Connell

Who the bloody hell is Jenny O'Connell?

Isn't she that girl that's always chewing her hair? Hair Chewer?

Fuck-Al Potter

Marry-Jenny O'Connell

Kill-Sienna Meadows

That's disgusting, but thank you for killing Meadows. I think that girl is trying to lead a revolt against me.

That sounds about right, Em. And...what on Earth are you talking about? Revolt?

What's disgusting? Marrying a girl that chews her hair? While annoying, I think I could live with that. Just ignore Rosie when she's gone off into the deep end. That's what I do.

Screwing my cousin is what's disgusting, and hey!

Would you rather screw Jenny or Sienna?

Well...

Don't answer that! But y'know, if you do play for the other team, you should know that we love and support you no whatever who you're fucking

I'm not fucking anyone! My turn...Scorpius Malfoy, Ethan Finnegan, and Caroline Davies

Caroline? That's Tone Deaf Teresa right?

Fuck: Ethan Finnegan

Marry: Scorpius Malfoy

Kill: Caroline Davies

Yes, her voice is bloody awful. Why the ruddy hell doesn't she ever stop singing? I completely agree. Ethan Finnegan? Now that boy is fine. Would totally tap that.

I surprisingly agree with both of you, although I'm wondering if fucking Scorpius and marrying Ethan would be better. Scorpius is one annoying bloke.

But you like that about him...the course of true love never did run smooth. A Midsummer's Night Dream.

Just admit it, Rosie, Scorpius's bickering is the light of your life (besides me). You're marrying Scorpius.

...

Elizabeth Lauren, it's your turn

Louis Weasley, Grace McLaughlin, and Nick McLaggen

Damn it, Liz, stop picking people I'm related to.

Marry-Nick McLaggen

Kill-Louis Weasley/Apple Tart

That's cheating, my friend. And sorry, but you're related to half of this school. Why the bloody hell is McLaughlin Apple Tart? How does that make sense?

Grace McLaughlin is a complete and utter tart. Apple tarts are my least favorite. I thought it was rather clever.

Not really, m'dear. Do you really hate Louis that much?

NO. But I can't marry or fuck him, seeing as he's my cousin.

Why the hell not? And why can't you fuck McLaggen, marry...er Apple Tart, and kill Louis?

Let's just ignore Emma's incestuous tendencies, shall we?

No. I am marrying Nick McLaggen, and Apple Tart MUST DIE

Still still in Divination

September 2nd

A ball of wadded up parchment just hit me on the head.

Cleopatra, what are you and your mates doing? You seem to be having more fun than the rest of us, combined, times a hundred-Scorpius

I took out a piece of parchment and began crafting my reply.

Why the bloody hell are you calling me that? We were playing a nice, rousing game of Fuck, Marry, Kill

I crumpled up the parchment into a ball and lobbed it, aiming at his nose.

Bullseye.

Scorpius yelped, rubbing his nose.

"Are you quite alright Mr. Malfoy?" Trelawney called out, interrupting her speech about the ripples in time or whatever.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, sucking on a sugar quill. When Trelawney turned around, he tossed his wadded up parchment and hit me on the cheek.

What the bloody hell was that for? That bloody hurt!

It was for you being an annoying little shite

Hey I thought we decided to be friends…

We are, but that doesn't mean that I can't tease you. And it doesn't mean that you're not an annoying little shite.

Your kindness is overwhelming

But really, should we even be friends? It could cause a chain of death/destruction/prostitution/alcoholism in my family…

.What?

I lobbed my response "Never mind" at Malfoy, but it somehow hit Professor Trelawney in the head. Good Godric. How the bloody hell did that happen? I may be a klutz, but my hand eye coordination is not that bad.

"Miss Weasley! If you could stop throwing parchment, that would be much appreciated, so I could continue my lesson," Trelawney announced. The whole class swiveled around to stare at me. "Detention this evening, Miss Weasley."

I really shouldn't be mates with Malfoy.

Great Hall

September 2nd

"Hey, Queen of Denial, what's wrong? You look a little down," Lily said sympathetically.

Meet Lily Potter.

She's dead pretty. Dead annoying too sometimes, when she's going on and on about how Scorpius Malfoy and I fancy each other. As if!

I stared holes into my roast beef, ignoring Lily.

"Talk to me. Lily, the advice guru, is here to listen," Lily said, resting her chin on her hands, and smiling angelically.

Lily Potter is no angel.

I groaned profusely. "There's something fundamentally wrong with this year. Everything is colliding and something really awful is going to happen."

Lily stared at me. "I think you're spending too much time with Professor Trelawney. You're getting as mad as she is. I think we're going to go visit Hagrid after dinner tonight," Lily said. "You in?"

"I would be in, except for that fact that, oh, I've got detention!" I snapped angrily.

"You? Detention on the first day? Well that's certainly quick. What the hell did you do?" Lily asked, astonished.

"Scorpius said passing notes to me, I was responding, Trelawney caught me," I said shortly.

Lily laughed. "The Head Girl has detention on the first day of classes? Maybe there is something fundamentally wrong with this year."

Damn it, is no one on my side? This situation is not funny.

Still in the Great Hall

September 2nd

I went over to the Slytherin table, where Al and Malfoy were eating lunch.

"Oi, Malfoy!" I yelled. "Thanks a lot for the detention!"

"You were the one who threw that parchment," he pointed out, smirking.

"And who was the one who started the conversation?" I yelled.

We were attracting a bit of attention, so I seized his collar and yanked him out of the hall.

"Bloody hell, woman!" he complained. "D'you really have to manhandle me?" he whined.

"You're such a girl," I said crossly.

"I didn't start that conversation with you to get you in trouble," he said. "But if you must know, your hand-eye coordination really isn't that bad."

I still want to know why he can't just spell things out like a normal person.

"What?"

"It was just a little confundo. I didn't know what to do, okay? Being mates is…weird. I don't know whether to tease you or be nice to you, and old habits die hard, y'know?" he admitted.

I just stared.

"See you around, Cleopatra" he said, walking away.

Prat.

Charms

September 2nd

To Do:

1. Find out what the hell this Cleopatra business is about

2. Make a decision about Scorpius, mates or not mates? I'm leaning toward not mates now, because of the confundo and the detention.

3. Make up this Divination Star Chart

4. Copy this Charms lecture from Liz because I'm not actually listening (Model Head Girl right here)

5. Get Alexia's opinion on the whole denial comment

6. Make up patrol schedule with my potential mate

7. Find The Dream Oracleor borrow from someone

8. Breathe

9. Survive

Library

September 2nd

Emma couldn't find her copy of The Dream Oracle-typical Emma, always losing shite. I would ask Liz, no doubt she has it in her mini alphabetized book library, but I had no idea where she was, so I ended up going to the library. I don't even like the library much-Madame Pince really has it out for me. I was searching for The Dream Oracle when I ran into Sumners.

"Heard about your little agreement with Scorpius," she said coldly, cornering me.

"Didn't think the library really was your scene," I said raising an eyebrow.

"Hilarious, Weasley. Anyway, we need to talk," she continued dryly, crossing her arms.

"Then talk," I said shortly.

"I want you to stay away from Scorpius," she said, as if that wasn't a totally crazy thing to say. She may have been friends with Scorpius since like ever, but that doesn't give her the right to act like an overprotective jealous freak.

I rolled my eyes. "I know you're obsessed with him, but you don't get to choose his friends."

"I've been friends with Scorpius for far longer than you have. Let me think-sixteen years versus sixteen hours," Sumners said.

"Scorpius can choose his own friends," I hissed.

"I don't think he can. I mean, he's friends with that whore Emilia and your idiotic cousin Albus," she said coolly.

"Excuse me, you are not allowed to insult my friends and family," I said, whipping my wand out and jabbing it in her direction.

She laughed. "You don't scare me, Weasley."

"Miss Weasley! Haven't I explained it to you clearly for the past six years? No wand pointing in my library! Out! Out! I've had enough of your shouting and wand pointing! I can and will find a way to ban you from my library for good!" Madame Pince bellowed.

Oh bollocks.

Detention

September 2nd

Apparently I was the only person daft enough to get detention on the first day of classes. Filch had me polishing the trophies in the trophy case, the Muggle way. Woo. Riveting stuff, really.

I was on my third trophy, when Scorpius showed up. God, why does he keep popping up everywhere I go?

"Here to get me into more trouble?" I huffed. "Shove off."

He shrugged and picked up a rag, and began to polish the trophy.

"What d'you think you're doing?" I asked, obviously very confused.

"I got you into this mess, and now I'm getting you out of this mess," he said.

"Um, well..uh, thank you," I mumbled. How eloquent of me, really.

What the hell is wrong with this bloke? Helping me in the detention that he got me into? Does he have some undiagnosed brain injury? Scorpius Malfoy is not particularly nice-especially not to me, but we did just decide to be mates...

And now, I'm even more confused than ever. Scorpius is being nice to me? I know we agreed to be mates…but still. It's unbelievably weird, especially after he was the one to get me into trouble.

He really needs to stop sending me so many bloody mixed signals.

AN: Al didn't exactly make it in this chapter. Oops. Will consider continuing if I get a decent response. Unfortunately it is college application season right now soooo...

College Essays To Be Completed: 14

College Essays Completed: 0