He waited.
He sat on the bench outside and waited. After all, they'd driven in together that morning, he couldn't just leave her behind. The look on her face when he gave her the news was just priceless. Despite gunning for the position himself, he couldn't argue with the final choice. He had been competing with Audrey Lim his entire professional life and hadn't come out on top yet!
Footsteps approached and he held his breath. "You're still here?" "Of course" he replied. "Let's go home".
The short walk to the car and the drive was quiet with a tension hanging in the air. They drove directly to his place, no discussions, using it as a silent confirmation that he didn't want this to be over. The last 4 weeks had been amongst the best he'd ever had and he was in no rush for that to end.
They arrived back at his condo 30 minutes later, the tension between them thick. Neither of them wanting to break the stalemate and have 'the talk'. Heading to the kitchen to prepare dinner, they moved around each other like it was a well rehearsed dance. Passing items back and forth, hands touching lightly trying to communicate without words.
With the table set, and the dinner ready, they had run out of places to hide. They couldn't sit in silence all night could they? Plates of steaming pasta in front of them accompanied by full glasses of wine. Audrey took a deep breath..."we need to talk".
"Where do you want to start?" asked Neil. "I can honestly say these last 4 weeks of my life have been the happiest so far, I don't want that to change."
"Do your think we can continue with this relationship whilst I'm your boss?" said Audrey. "It's not going to be a short term thing. I've accepted the job and I intend to be doing it for years to come."
Neil balked a bit at her brutal honesty. He shouldn't have expected anything less but it hurt a bit to hear the words out loud.
Shocked by the look on his face at her abrupt words, she took a moment. "Sorry, that didn't come out right. It's a new thing for me, trying to focus on my personal life. It's not something I'm finding easy."
He gave a small smile and let out the breath he didn't realise he was holding. "Ok, let's try again. You're the new Head of Surgery. Let's try and figure out what we are" as he gestured between them.
"Let's look at this logically. We have options don't we?" Audrey said. 'We could end this thing between us and go back to the way it was before?" Neil sighed, he had guessed that would be option one. Not really something he wanted to consider but at least it had been said out loud.
Neil countered with "We could carry on as we are now? We've been approved? They must have realised this could be a possibility when they offered you the job!"
"We could go back to keeping it just between us? " was her next suggestion. Not an option she really wanted but if they were going to do this, they needed to do it properly.
That was met with a resounding "No" from Neil. She expected that. He was the one that pushed for them to be honest with their friends and colleagues. He had been her guide in this new relationship and she had followed, trying to communicate her feelings as well as he could. It had been hard but she trusted his judgement. The secret option was off the table.
They continued to eat in a more comfortable silence, feeling relieved that the conversation had started. The conversation would also end this same evening but neither knew quite how.
Once dinner was done, they cleared up and pottered around the kitchen to get things squared away. They refilled their glasses and headed to the sofa to continue their debate.
They sat close together. His hand on her thigh and her fingers absent mildly stroking the hair at the back of his neck.
"I say let's give it a try. What's the worst that could happen. If it doesn't work we'll go back to being friends"
"Could you do that? I'm not sure I could! It took long enough for us to admit these feeling. It would be hard to put them all back in the box"
They turned to face each other. He looked up into her eyes, deep beautiful pools which could drown him in an instant. "C'mon Aud, we could do this. Have you felt like this before? We've got something special here, I know it. "
"What if it's just lust? All these years of no touching because we were with other people. What if this is just a manifestation of that?"
"It's more than that to me. I know it. But let's be honest here. If you're not going to even try and commit to this then we should call it a day now. Call me an old romantic, but I don't want to fall more in love with you then have to stop"
She looks up with a shocked look on her face. "You love me?" She asked. He nodded sheepishly, this wasn't the grand romantic gesture he thought it would be when he told her. A silence lingered for what felt like an eternity. Neil waited. She finally said quietly "I love you too"
A wave of relief seemed to wash over them. They both let out big sighs then moved in to wrap their arms around each other. "That was a bit tense!" Audrey said. "Almost though we weren't going to make it!" She joked.
They pulled apart slightly, just enough to look at each other. Her eyes flickered to his lips and he gave a little smirk. "I wonder if it will be different now that's all out in the open?" He asked.
"Only one way to find out" she replied closing in for a kiss.
