A/N Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize from Warriors.
Cinderpelt's POV
When I saw Leafpool and Crowfeather's secret meeting I was shocked. My own apprentice was meeting with another cat from another Clan!
I told her that the forbidden relationship had to stop. It would only end in misery. I suspected she was sneaking out at night, but I had hoped with all my heart that she wasn't having a forbidden relationship. I had seen her at Gatherings, staring at the WindClan warrior, Crowfeather. She denied having feelings for him, but this just confirmed it all – Leafpool entered a world, forbidden to medicine cats.
After the dark gray tom left, Leafpool tried to convince me that they weren't doing any harm. She didn't understand - what might seem like harmless meetings could ruin her whole life. If the Clan found out about it and deem her as disloyal no cat would ever trust her again.
When Leafpool chose the path of being a medicine cat, she hadn't felt any feelings for any tom. She didn't know what she was giving up. I guess that made things harder.
I knew what I was giving up. After I recovered from being hit by a Twoleg montser, Yellowfang offered me the place as her apprentice. I knew I couldn't be a warrior after the incident on the Thunderpath, and that being a medicine cat would be the only way I could help my Clan. But I also knew what I would have to give up becoming a medicine cat – the chance to love.
I loved Firestar, then Fireheart. Even though he was my mentor, I thought I might've had a chance with him. He was the perfect mate. But I also knew what Firestar felt for me wasn't the same as what I felt for him. He deserved more than a crippled cat. So said yes to Yellowfang's offer.
After Yellowfang died in the raging fire that swept through ThunderClan camp, I became the Clan's medicine cat. Firestar saw me as a friend, nothing more. What he felt for Sandstorm was different. I saw the look in his eyes when he looks at the beautiful ginger she-cat. And Sandstorm felt the same way too.
When the two announced that they were going to have kits, tears threatened to spill down my face. I helped Sandstorm kit, and I smiled and said how beautiful they were. But as I complimented them I thought about how if Firestar and I had kits, they would be much more beautiful.
One of their two daughters chose the path of a medicine cat. I'd wondered if she would regret choosing it too.
Leafpool accused me off never being in love, never wanting anything else other than being a medicine cat.
She was so wrong.
I wanted to correct her, to tell her I had fallen in love. But how could I tell her that, when the cat I loved, was her father?
The light brown tabby she-cat had no idea what I gave up to follow the path StarClan had laid down for me. I had given up the chance of being with Firestar. If StarClan didn't want me to be a medicine cat I could've been Firestar's mate instead of Sandstorm!
I could've fought for Firestar's love. Even if he chose Sandstorm in the end, I could've comforted myself by saying that I had tried.
But I can't. Because the minute I became Yellowfang's apprentice, I couldn't fall in love. My feelings had to be controlled. I couldn't dream about a certain ginger tom at night. I couldn't feel jealous over the fact that Sandstorm is his mate. Because I was a medicine cat.
