Darry POV

The first time I see Josh get hit, it makes my heart jump into my mouth and my stomach flip over.

He's sitting on a tricycle in Steve's front yard and he's got brown hair and looks to be about four years old. I'm thinking that it's kinda late for him to be sitting in the garden and that he ought to have been in bed long before the sun started to go down, when he suddenly sees us and starts to wave madly. He's so busy waving and laughing he don't notice a big man with an angry face come charging out of the house and through the yard straight towards him. I feel my stomach start to clench up.

Steve, Soda and me stop walking as the man drags the kid off his trike, getting madder and madder because the trike's all caught up with the kids legs. He yanks the kid loose and kicks the trike away. He starts smacking the kid across the head, back, anywhere and everywhere. I'm thinking maybe I should do something because the kids' arm looks so small and fragile in the guys' big fist and his eyes are wide and scared and pleading. But the guy's kinda big, and there's really nothing I can do because it's none of my business if some dad wants to spank his kid.

I turn to Steve and Soda, but Soda's staring with his mouth hanging open and Steve's scrunched his face up so tight I can't see his eyes. He sees me watching him and mutters "Bye Soda, bye Darry," before running off down the street. He skids to a halt outside his front yard, and I see him take a deep breath, like he's bracing himself for a fight or something.

Soda's still gawking but I don't want to see anymore so I put my hand on his shoulder and turn him away. Neither of us say a word on the way home, each lost in our own thoughts. Sodas' eyes have lost their sparkle and I wonder if, like me, he's wishing with all his heart he'd said or done something to help that little boy on his tricycle.

I guess from that day on I've always had a soft spot for Josh. He's nine going on ten now, but whenever I look at him I see the same little boy I saw sitting on his tricycle all those years ago. So, when I found him sitting on our porch this afternoon, I didn't need to think twice before inviting him inside. The temperature's topping 98 degrees and he's all red and shiny from running in the heat, but it's cool and shady inside our house and he grins at me as he flops down on the couch. He's holding a cigarette in his left hand and is about to take a puff but I take it from him and stub it out before it reaches his lips.

"Not in the house." I tell him and he pulls a face but doesn't protest. "You shouldn't be smokin' anyway, not at your age."

"Aw come on Darry, everyone else is doing it. And besides, it calms my nerves." He pulls his t-shirt off over his head and wipes his face on it before balling it up and shoving it behind his head to use as an extra cushion.

"If everyone went and jumped off a cliff would you do it?"

"Maybe." He gives me a crazy grin and I smile and tut at him because he reminds me so much of Sodapop the way he's grinning like that.

Josh closes his eyes and leans back into the couch, his head resting on his t-shirt. I watch as his chest methodically rises and drops, and I can't help noticing the way the skin is stretched tight across his ribs and how heavy and laboured his breathing is.

"You hungry kid?"

"Nope, had a three course meal before I came round. You know how much my mum likes to cook." He doesn't open his eyes but a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

"You won't be wanting any chocolate cake then." I disappear into the kitchen and cut him a slice. That kid's never had a three course meal in his life.

When I get back to the lounge Joshs' head has lolled to the side and I think he's fallen asleep until he says, "Is Steve here?"

"Yeah I think he's with Sodapop. You want me to go get him?" He nods. Steve and Soda are in the boys' room, fighting over something or another.

"Steve you've got a visitor." I tell him.

"Tell Josh to go home," he says and he won't look at me.

"You can come tell him yourself. He looks kinda sick, you sure he's ok?"

"Yeah he's fine," Steve mutters as he pushes past me. "You worry to much."

Soda gives me a look before following after him. Steve always gets defensive when I start fussing over Josh, I never quite figured out why. Soda goes to get him and Steve some cake while Steve sits down next to Josh. Josh has eaten half his slice and got the other half around his mouth. He finishes his mouthful before turning to Steve.

"It's nearly six o'clock," he says meaningfully. Steve shrugs.

"Then go home." Josh looks hard at him, as if trying to figure out weather he's joking or not.

"Aren't you coming?" He whispers eventually as Soda perches on the arm of the sofa and hands Steve his cake.

"No, I'm gonna stay here tonight." Josh doesn't say anything. "Go on then, get lost." Steve gives he a shove. "You just said it was nearly six, so get going."

Josh stands up, still staring at Steve. He opens his mouth to say something but Steve cuts him off.

"And don't even think about asking if you can stay too. He'll only come looking for you and then I'll have to leave as well and me and Soda are going out tonight."

I try to read the look Josh is giving Steve, but he's turned on his heel and bolted out the door before I can figure it out. Soda looks at Steve, then at me, then back at Steve. Steve's scrunched his face up so tight I can't see his eyes.

He keeps looking at the clock. 5.52, 5.54, 5.57, 5.58, every few seconds he glances at it.

"Stevie, you ok?" Soda's nervous, something's obviously not ok but Steve won't look at him. He nods and stares doggedly at the tv, but his eyes have glazed over, and it's obvious his mind's else where.

Josh Pov

He's got me pinned to the wall, his hand pressing so hard against my cheek that any minute my whole face is gonna cave in.

"Where's your brother?" He shouts while I try really hard not to cry. "Where's your brother?"

I shake my head and whisper that I don't know. I give up trying not to cry, it's to hard when your big brothers not there and your daddy's about to break your face forever.

"Mama…" I know it's stupid and he's gonna kill me for it but the words slip outta my mouth anyway. I plead with her with my left eye because my right one is squished right shut against the wall. She looks at me for a minute but she's got her own bruises to be worrying about and doesn't have time to be thinking about mine too. Perhaps you have to plead with both eyes if you want your mama to stop your daddy from breaking your face forever, I dunno.

I'm so busy thinking about eyes and bruises and mamas and broken faces I don't see him raise his hand. I'm not ready for the slap and I yell out 'cause it stings something awful. I think he's gonna whup me one again but mama puts his dinner on the table and luckily for me he prefers steak and mash potatoes to breaking my face forever.

I slide down the wall and sit on the floor hugging my knees. I lick my lips and taste chocolate icing and I want to cry all over again because it gets me thinking of Darry and Soda and Ponyboy and Steve and how they're there and I'm here. I hold my breath and scrunch my eyes up until there's a rushing in my ears and my chest feels like it's about to explode. The tears have gone now so I just sit and wait and hurt and watch while my dad eats his steak and mash potatoes.

After years and years he looks at me. "What are you sittin' there for?"

I don't say anything because firstly you never know what might set him off and secondly I don't quite know the answer. I was waiting for him to tell me.

"Lookin' at me with those shifty eyes and that sour look. Bugger off upstairs before I really give you something to frown about. Go on, else I'll knock you into the middle of next week…"

He can go like that for days and days so I bugger off upstairs and leave mama to listen to him. I don't care, she left me to get my face broken forever.

Our room's all hot and sticky, but then it always is, except in winter when it's so cold our lips turn blue. I sit on our bed and prey that he hasn't knocked any teeth loose while I run my tongue carefully around my mouth. Luckily for me he hasn't, wobbly teeth scare me to death when Steve isn't around to pull them out.

I go to the mirror and look at my face. There's a red handprint on my left cheek and a scratch on my right where my skin caught on a bit of loose plaster. The handprint will fade and the scratch is small so I don't need to bother making up any lies. I need to lie down soon 'cause my heads spinning from getting a clout for being late and getting squished too hard against the wall.

Steve's not here so I get the whole bed to myself, but I still curl up next to the wall like I always do. There's a Steve sized space next to me and I wish he was here. I can smell steak and mash potatoes from downstairs and I get a twinge in my belly and I know that, as much as I love chocolate cake, it won't see me through the night.

My eyelids feel heavy and I've got a headache and I could kill for a cigarette. Downstairs they're shouting and I can't help but feel a little bit sorry for my mama because tomorrow she's gonna have a black eye and a fat lip and she'll have to stay inside with her cigarettes and her coffee.

I close my eyes and pretend. I draw pictures inside my head, pictures of strange people and places that no one can understand except me. I'm half-way through a dragon with long eyelashes and a cigarette when I fall asleep.

Ok, I know that not a lot happened in this first chapter, but I needed to set the scene a little bit. Let me know what you think, but no flames please. If you hated it, that's fine, just don't tell me.