Ranting in a Diary - by Harry-Potter-Holic1233
DISCLAIMER: I no own, you no sue! :P
Dear Diary,
Is this how you do this?
I don't really see the point in writing "Dear Diary", given that technically this is not a letter, and a diary is not a person. But it is a formality, so I guess I'll use it.
Well, given that I'm writing in this, I may as well introduce myself (as pointless as it seems). My name is Lily Evans, I am British, I live in Enfield, and I am a witch. It's as simple as that. Only it's not...
My mum says that it'll be good to "write my thoughts out", and "express myself, rather than letting my inner turmoil destroy me". Personally, I don't think that writing all my problems down into a small book that could be picked up by anyone is a particularly good idea. So why does everyone do it? Is it so they have someone to "talk" to? A way to jot down memories to look back on later in life? Or maybe it is just a way to pass the time...
But, I have this book, and I have nothing better to do, so I may as well list my multitude of problems.
#1: My sister:
Ever since I met Sev Snape, Tuney has hated me. I can't stand to be in the same room as her, and I think she probably feels the same way... I mean, there's only so many times I can stand being called a "freak" by my own sister. I hear she's going to get married soon, but I only found that out from my mother.
#2: Broken friendships:
Mudblood. That word that's torn my whole life apart. I'm not accepted anywhere. My sister calls me a freak for being magic, and people at school call me a mudblood for not being properly magical. It's highly depressing, being stuck between two completely separate worlds. Yet for the past seven years, I've had Sev Snape to comfort me, to bridge that gap. But not anymore. It's been six months since that fateful day of the Defence Against The Dark Arts OWL exam, yet I still can't get over it. No matter what happens now, I know that I can't trust anyone. All that will happen is that I will be let down once again. Too many times has this happened. No more.
#3. My reputation:
To everyone else apart from me, I am Miss Evans; teacher's pet, strict on rules, top grades, likeable, friendly, helpful, and generally just perfect. They expect so much of me. Too much. Don't they understand that I can't help them with homework, because I haven't even started my own? Don't they understand that the smile on my face is just a façade, a mask that now permanently exists to hide my real feelings? Don't they understand that I am sick and tired of having to uphold school rules, and that I really just want to not have to worry about everything and be the one person who actually tries to maintain a sense of order? Don't they understand that to get perfect grades, I have to work so hard that I sometimes don't even have time for sleep? Don't they understand that the more they look up to me, the worse I feel...?
People look at me, but they never truly see me. I'm just a girl. How am I supposed to be able to live up to everyone's expectations, when I can hardly live up to my own?
#4. James Potter
That small leather book was suddenly wrenched from my hands. Frantically scrambling up from my favourite armchair in the common room, I crashed straight into the muscled chest of the devil himself, who happened to be holding my book out of arm's reach.
"What's this you got here, Evans?"
Damn...
A/N: That's all folks! I'm thinking of turning this little oneshot into a nice long Jily chapter fic. :) Although it depends on the response I get to this. So if you want some good Jily fluffy goodness, just send in a little review! ;) Constructive criticism is more than welcome, although I would prefer it if I didn't get any flames! :P
*Harry-Potter-Holic1233
