A/N: Just a quick one shot.
So here's the thing Spike, I hear you're alive. You. Spike. Alive. No matter how many times I say it or hear it or write it... It just never seems real which is totally weird because you being dead never seemed real either. Oh scratch that. You were dead the entire time I knew you, weren't you? Well of course you were. You were a vampire. You were the big bad, the king of vampires (there's an ego boost for you). But you never really seemed dead to me... Is that weird?
In short, you're back. And I don't what I think about it.
Did you miss me while you were gone? Probably not. I mean you were in some other dimension or something right? I don't even know, maybe not. But I still don't think you missed me. You lived in my house for months...before we fought the first and we barely even talked. Can you even remember one conversation that we had during those months? One between just you and me? One with out Buffy in the room? One like the ones that we used to have?
Regardless of what ever... I missed you. I hate that I did, but I definitely did.
Do you even know how much you meant to me? I know I sound like some psychotic little kid, but I really liked you Spike. You were there for me after Buffy died. Maybe you only did it because she made you promise, but we were friends right? You liked me too didn't you? It wasn't just because I was her sister was it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking you to say that you loved me. Just that... Deep down you cared a little right? Can vampires with out souls care? Could you? At least a little? We were friends weren't we? All those nights that we spent just talking about anything but her...they meant something didn't they? They meant something to me.
I think that you did care about me. During that summer, the one with out Buffy, I think you cared about me in a non-Sister-Of-The-Girl-You-Were- Maddly-In-Love-With way... Why'd you stop? Buffy came back and it was like I didn't matter... I still remember the night when you found me with her in the house, the night that she came back to us. It was like your entire demenor changed, you changed! Why'd you have to change Spike? Didn't you know that I liked you the way you were?
I'm not just a silly little girl with a crush. I swear. That's not what this is about at all. I promise. Sure I did have a crush on you. (Did you ever even know? Or were you too busy thinking about getting in the good books with big sis?) You treated me like an adult. Like a person. Even when I was the key. Even after I wasn't. Thank you for that. Have I ever thanked you for that? I can't remember. In return I treated you like a person, she never did you know. Buffy I mean. At least not until you got your soul.
And what was with that whole soul thing anyways? What the hell happened to Spike? You looked like him, but I didn't know who you were last year. I mean sure you looked like Spike, but you weren't, you were just soul boy. That's actually what I started referring to you as in my head you know, soul boy. I couldn't bring myself to think of you as Spike. Because you had stopped being my Spike a long time ago.
You know I think I may have even hated you those last few weeks. Yea I did. I really really did. It was so hard, to see you every day and not even talk to you. It was terrible you know. I missed you so much. Even more than I miss you now. It was like watching myself lose my best friend, only I'd already lost you hadn't I?
Then you had to go and do something stupid like save the world! You couldn't even let me be mad at you could you Spike?! You couldn't even let me have that! You always were a bit of a brat... Stupid Spike! I hate you! Only I don't. Sometimes I wish I did though.
And now you're back. At least that's what Andrew tells me. He kept calling you Frodo though for some reason... Well anyways I guess I'm just writing to let you know I'm still alive.
So look, maybe you shouldn't write back to this. I mean I probably shouldn't even send it, but I really just needed to say all of this. Actually I think I really wrote this because there's something that I need to say to you. I need to tell you good bye. I never got to tell you... All those months ago before the fight, so good bye Spike. I hope you have a nice life, er un-life.
-Dawn Summers-
A/N: Okay well tell me what you think!
So here's the thing Spike, I hear you're alive. You. Spike. Alive. No matter how many times I say it or hear it or write it... It just never seems real which is totally weird because you being dead never seemed real either. Oh scratch that. You were dead the entire time I knew you, weren't you? Well of course you were. You were a vampire. You were the big bad, the king of vampires (there's an ego boost for you). But you never really seemed dead to me... Is that weird?
In short, you're back. And I don't what I think about it.
Did you miss me while you were gone? Probably not. I mean you were in some other dimension or something right? I don't even know, maybe not. But I still don't think you missed me. You lived in my house for months...before we fought the first and we barely even talked. Can you even remember one conversation that we had during those months? One between just you and me? One with out Buffy in the room? One like the ones that we used to have?
Regardless of what ever... I missed you. I hate that I did, but I definitely did.
Do you even know how much you meant to me? I know I sound like some psychotic little kid, but I really liked you Spike. You were there for me after Buffy died. Maybe you only did it because she made you promise, but we were friends right? You liked me too didn't you? It wasn't just because I was her sister was it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking you to say that you loved me. Just that... Deep down you cared a little right? Can vampires with out souls care? Could you? At least a little? We were friends weren't we? All those nights that we spent just talking about anything but her...they meant something didn't they? They meant something to me.
I think that you did care about me. During that summer, the one with out Buffy, I think you cared about me in a non-Sister-Of-The-Girl-You-Were- Maddly-In-Love-With way... Why'd you stop? Buffy came back and it was like I didn't matter... I still remember the night when you found me with her in the house, the night that she came back to us. It was like your entire demenor changed, you changed! Why'd you have to change Spike? Didn't you know that I liked you the way you were?
I'm not just a silly little girl with a crush. I swear. That's not what this is about at all. I promise. Sure I did have a crush on you. (Did you ever even know? Or were you too busy thinking about getting in the good books with big sis?) You treated me like an adult. Like a person. Even when I was the key. Even after I wasn't. Thank you for that. Have I ever thanked you for that? I can't remember. In return I treated you like a person, she never did you know. Buffy I mean. At least not until you got your soul.
And what was with that whole soul thing anyways? What the hell happened to Spike? You looked like him, but I didn't know who you were last year. I mean sure you looked like Spike, but you weren't, you were just soul boy. That's actually what I started referring to you as in my head you know, soul boy. I couldn't bring myself to think of you as Spike. Because you had stopped being my Spike a long time ago.
You know I think I may have even hated you those last few weeks. Yea I did. I really really did. It was so hard, to see you every day and not even talk to you. It was terrible you know. I missed you so much. Even more than I miss you now. It was like watching myself lose my best friend, only I'd already lost you hadn't I?
Then you had to go and do something stupid like save the world! You couldn't even let me be mad at you could you Spike?! You couldn't even let me have that! You always were a bit of a brat... Stupid Spike! I hate you! Only I don't. Sometimes I wish I did though.
And now you're back. At least that's what Andrew tells me. He kept calling you Frodo though for some reason... Well anyways I guess I'm just writing to let you know I'm still alive.
So look, maybe you shouldn't write back to this. I mean I probably shouldn't even send it, but I really just needed to say all of this. Actually I think I really wrote this because there's something that I need to say to you. I need to tell you good bye. I never got to tell you... All those months ago before the fight, so good bye Spike. I hope you have a nice life, er un-life.
-Dawn Summers-
A/N: Okay well tell me what you think!
