Fandom: Kuroko no Basuke
Characters/Pairings: Kise, GoM (plus Momoi)
Words: 2,017
Summary: 5 times people did not listen to what Kise had to say, at all, and 1 time he just gave up. (Or, alternatively: Haven't you heard? Kise Ryouta is a masochist.)
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notes: i like kise. really, i do.
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1.
Kise does not like pain.
Now, you might be wondering, who does? Well, apparently, some people do. And not that Kise is one to judge what others might be into—we all have our own preferences, some slightly more questionable with respect to society at large than others—but, lately, for some reason, rumor has it that Kise is part of 'some people', so, he just wants to set the record straight.
"Are you sure you're not just in denial, though?" Midorima asks, because.
"No, of course I'm not in denial," Kise replies, heatedly. "Midorimacchi, just what kind of person do you take me for?"
"A masochist," Midorima says, coolly, finishing the wrapping around Kise's leg, the third time this week.
"It's not like I want Kurokocchi to hit me on purpose!" Kise exclaims. "It just happens, okay!"
"Just like it also 'happens' that instead of catching his ignite passes, you merely stand by and let them hit you?" Midorima asks. "While it is true that you still have a long way to go in terms of receiving them as well as Aomine, you're perfectly capable of at least preventing them from causing damage. Seeing as you don't, however, I can only conclude that you somehow enjoy the pain the contact brings you. Furthermore, Kuroko is not one to make such an elementary mistake of not passing to the correct location. Thus, this would mean that you are clearly provoking him into action. What's more—"
"Okay, okay," Kise says, holding his hand out in an attempt to just stop Midorima from talking. "So maybe I have been on him about passing to me a little more than usual, but that still doesn't mean I want this to happen." 'This', being, of course, getting hit by a high speed basketball aimed at various parts of his person.
"Denial isn't healthy, Kise," Midorima says, simply.
"Shut up and get me some ice," Kise frowns, yanking his leg from Midorima's hold.
"Of course," Midorima says, reaching for a pack and throwing the ice right in Kise's face, not even looking remotely sorry.
"Fuck you, Midorimacchi," Kise says, so not enjoying his face burning from the cold. "Just, fuck you so much."
Midorima just smiles that smug smile of his in response, that prick.
.
2.
"What's this I hear about you indulging in pain, Ryouta?" Akashi asks, out of nowhere, and Kise takes a moment to be thankful that everyone has already left.
"Don't tell me you believe that stuff too, Akashicchi," Kise frowns, wondering how his life had gotten this out of hand. "I don't know what kind of weird story Midorimacchi told you, but I'm not a masochist, okay?"
"Now, now, Ryouta," Akashi says, soothingly—or, as soothingly as Akashi could get. "I'm not here to pass judgment on what you choose to enjoy in your spare time. It has simply come to my attention that you are misusing Kuroko's skills in order to fulfill this need of yours, and as team captain, I can't allow this to go on. Especially since it is affecting your performance as well."
"Akashicchi, please," Kise tries, offering his palms up as some sort of proof. "You gotta believe me, I'm really not doing this on purpose."
"Denial isn't very becoming of you, Ryouta," Akashi says, looking at him disapprovingly. Kise hates how it makes him feel so small despite literally towering over him.
"I'm really not in denial, though," Kise says, anyway.
"It's alright, Ryouta," Akashi says. "We can work on your other psychological issues another time. For now, let us focus on this one."
"What do you mean, this one—"
Kise doesn't even care about hearing the answer anymore once Akashi puts him face-to-face with those goddamn scissors he pulled out of god-knows-where, malicious intent practically pouring out of him.
Kise just runs.
.
3.
"Kise-chin," Kise hears Murasakibara call out from behind him, "a present."
"Huh?" Kise asks, turning around, immediately met with Murasakibara putting something into his hands. "A present?"
"A present," Murasakibara nods, sagely.
Kise looks curiously at the object Murasakibara had just given him. "Uh, thanks?" Kise says, tilting his head. He wasn't really all that hungry, but, free food is free food. "Are you sure it's okay, though? I know how you feel about not meeting your candy quota."
"It's okay," Murasakibara assures him. "I bought this one specially for you. I know how much you like vanilla."
"Uh huh…?" Kise says, still not sure what's going on. Still, Murasakibara had gone through some sort of effort for him, so, he opens the wrapper and takes a bite. "Oh, this is really good."
"That's great, Kise-chin," Murasakibara says. "Now you won't have to keep asking Kuro-chin to hit you all the time."
"Wh-What," Kise sputters, nearly choking on the surprise center. "Where did you get that from?!"
"Aka-chin told me all about it," Murasakibara explains, looking at him pitifully. "It's not good to hurt, Kise-chin."
"I know that," Kise proclaims. God, why won't people just—"I'm really not into that stuff, okay?"
"Aka-chin warned me that you'd try to deny it," Murasakibara frowns. "Come on, Kise-chin. You've gotta be more honest with yourself."
"Augh," Kise groans, putting his free hand to his face. "I am being honest. Why won't anyone believe me?"
"Don't worry, Kise-chin," Murasakibara says, patting him soothingly on the back. "It's gonna be okay. Here."
"What do you mean, 'here'—" Kise starts to ask, cut off by Murasakibara stuffing the rest of the candy bar into his mouth.
"Just keep eating these," Murasakibara says, "and soon enough you won't even have time to think about anything else. I'll even ask Aka-chin if we could give you a budget, too, okay?"
"O-Okay," Kise attempts to say, his gag reflex still struggling with the speed Murasakibara expects him to eat at.
"Great," Murasakibara says, opening a pack for himself. "You want to try the strawberry ones next?"
"Uh, sure," Kise coughs, forcing himself to swallow.
It's a hell of a whole lot better than whatever Akashi was planning on doing, at least.
.
4.
"Hey, you got a minute?" Aomine asks, peering into his classroom during free period.
"Yeah, sure?" Kise shrugs, putting away the math notes he'd borrowed from Kuroko. It's not like he was really using them to study, anyway.
"So…" Kise says, after a few awkward moments of just loitering in the courtyard. "Did you wanna do anything in particular? Play some one-on-one or something?"
"Uh," Aomine says, shuffling his feet around like he usually does when has no idea what the shit he's doing.
"Aominecchi, are you okay?" Kise asks, concerned
"Me?" Aomine says "Yeah, of course. I was just, you know."
"I know what?" Kise asks.
Aomine rubs at his neck. "Um, look, I'll just be honest with you," Aomine says, looking down at his feet. "Do you remember that DVD I lent you, like, a month ago? You know, the one with the cowgirl?"
"Uh, yeah," Kise says, feeling his cheeks heat up, like, how could he not forget that one. He didn't even borrow it, in the first place; Aomine just dumped it into his bag because he was an asshole, and Kise was this close to accidentally letting his family see it for movie night. It was a good thing he bothered to double check before pressing play; otherwise, he might not even be alive right now to be embarrassed about it. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, you know," Aomine says, gesturing vaguely, "it's got that stuff you like now, so, well, I was wondering if maybe I was the one to sorta turn you into, well, you know."
"No, I don't know," Kise says, exasperated. "What are you even talking about, like, what do you mean, turning me into a—A-Aominecchi!" Kise exclaims, face burning when the realization of Aomine's half-assed explanations finally hits him like a ton of bricks. "I-I'm not like that, I swear!"
"That's now what everyone else is saying, though," Aomine says.
"Well, don't listen to them!" Kise says, not sounding the least bit desperate, no sir. "They're just rumors, okay?"
"But what about you asking Tetsu to hit you during prac—"
"Rumors!"
"I saw it happen, dumbass," Aomine retorts. "We're on the same team, in case you don't remember."
"Still," Kise insists. "Just because it happened didn't mean I wanted it to happen. There's a difference."
"Right," Aomine says. "Sure there is."
"You just gotta take my word on this, Aominecchi," Kise pleads. "No one else is willing to believe me."
"Not if you're gonna deny it that hard, they're not."
Kise buries his head into his hands and groans. "Why does everyone think I'm in denial over this…?"
"Look," Aomine says, "I don't really care what kind of shit you're into—whatever floats your boat or some shit like that—I just, you know, felt that if me giving you that DVD is what started this, then I figured I should be, you know, res…"
"Res?"
"Res… Respons… That thing Satsuki is always telling me to be."
"Responsible?" Kise offers.
"Yeah, that," Aomine says, grimacing like just hearing the word had left a bad taste in his mouth. "Anyway, here, I got you something."
"Thanks…?" Kise says, taking the plastic bag Aomine had offered warily.
In retrospect, opening anything from Aomine while on school grounds was definitely not one of Kise's best ideas.
Flailing around like a fish out of water once seeing what was inside, probably wasn't much better, but, hey, what else was Kise supposed to do.
.
5.
"It's a good thing you two didn't get caught."
"Mo-Momoicchi?!" Kise gasps, nearly slamming into his shoe locker. "You—You surprised me."
Momoi giggles. "I can see that."
Kise smiles, easing against the metal surface. "So, what can I do for you today?"
"Well," Momoi says, clasping her hands together, "first of all, I'd like to apologize for what Dai-chan did earlier. You can rest assured that I've scolded him and confiscated the materials accordingly."
"Oh, you didn't need to do that, Momoicchi," Kise says. "That was just Aominecchi being Aominecchi, after all."
"Even so," Momoi says, "I wanted to do it. And, in any case, Dai-chan isn't really what I came here to talk to you about."
"Oh," Kise says, a wrench in his gut telling him where this conversation is going. "Um, if this is about those rumors—"
"I'm still disappointed in myself for not realizing it sooner, really."
"Yeah, about that—"
"Don't worry about it though, Ki-chan," Momoi says, expression completely serious as she puts her hands on his shoulders. "I'll take care of everything. I've already started preparing a new regimen just for you."
"That's… great…?"
"Things will be back to normal before you know it," Momoi declares, patting him on the side of his arm before heading out. "Just leave it to me!"
"Right…"
Kise had never wanted anything more than to just crawl under a rock and never come back.
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#
"I honestly don't know what to do, Kurokocchi," Kise despairs, the cold surface of the table at Maji Burger offering little comfort to his tortured soul. "Everyone actually thinks I'm some sort of masochist."
"Aren't you, though?" Kuroko says, sipping at his vanilla shake, courtesy of Kise's wallet.
"Not you too, Kurokocchi," Kise pleads.
"I'm just kidding, of course," Kuroko says, lighting a tiny candle of hope in the dark abyss that has become Kise's miserable life. "I know you're much more extreme that just a regular masochist."
"Ku-Kurokocchi!"
"Just kidding, Kise-kun," Kuroko says, taking another sip from his vanilla shake. "I know the rumors aren't true."
"You really mean it?" Kise says, feeling the most happy he's been ever since this whole mess started.
"No," Kuroko says, not even batting an eyelash as Kise's heart breaks into a million pieces.
"Geez, Kurokocchi," Kise groans, dropping his head to the table, "why do you have to be so mean?"
"It's what you like the most about me, though, isn't it?"
Kise chooses not to think about how not responding to that reflects upon him.
