Show Me What I'm Looking For

Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, Random Harvest, or any characters mentioned here.

Summary: During WWI, Charles Bass lost his memory during a battle in France. Working with Blair Waldorf to piece together the fragments, he never expected to fall in love. In search of his past and her future, can they find happiness in each other's arms? Loosely based on the film and novel, Random Harvest, by James Hilton. Historical AU C&B.

Chapter One

Melbridge, England

Autumn, 1918

Orange and red leaves fell onto a shadowed pathway leading to a remote and guarded building in the English Midlands. The Melbridge County Asylum, immensely proud of it's new military wing, housed shattered minds of the country's soldiers. The care was barely sufficient for the wounded youth, ridden with psychosis and delusions. Many struggled with memory loss and are unable to connect with their surroundings. Black iron bars lined the windows and tall gates kept the patients enclosed inside. The untouched public was shielded from the madness that lingered in the halls, in the rooms, and was heard in the screams at night.

Dr. Nate Archibald was the chief psychiatrist at the Melbridge Asylum. Sitting at his desk he clasped his hands in apprehension. A couple, Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd, had come in to inquire if their missing son was a match for one of the amnesiac patients he was caring for. This was their only hope, their last resort. The British Army had no information about their son's current whereabouts. His age, description, last known location, and date of disappearance all match those of a young man Dr. Archibald was supervising, but he was hesitate to lift anyone's hopes.

"Now Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd, I should caution you that even if he is your son, he may not recognize you. His memory was affected deeply and he has trouble with his speech. The result of shell shock," He warned them, pausing long enough to let his words sink in.

The eager couple was silent and listened intently, unable to move. Their hands intertwined throughout the visit, their knuckles turning white. The nature of the doctor's words paralyzed them with fear. There was nowhere to turn after this, no more help in solving the mystery of what happened to their only son.

"He was picked up by the Germans, in a trench hole in France, near Arras. Found nearly a year ago, close to death and with no means of identification." Dr. Archibald continued, "He woke up in a German hospital but could not speak or remember anything of his past life. He had no name, no family to contact."

Mrs. Lloyd dabbed her eyes with a linen handkerchief. Her head bowed in anguish. There were rumored reports of soldiers trapped in the underground tunnels throughout the town of Arras but the radio news proclaimed they were unknown to the Germans and the battle a victory for Britain.

"Six months ago, the patient was transferred here, again with no memory, no progress made to his mental awareness. However, I do feel that during his stay here, he has slowly begun to recover. I sincerely hope he proves to be your son. I believe he could be cured with patience and caring. Somewhere in a normal surrounding."

"May we see him now, doctor?" Mrs. Lloyd pleaded, as her eyes began to water again.

"Certainly"

He stood from his desk chair but placed his hands flat on the surface as if to press his point further. "But please, do not hope too much. I have seen many disappointments."

Dr. Archibald walked to his office door and left the couple with their hopes and mumbled prayers. He entered the infirmary; all of the beds were occupied and lined in a row. Each young man raised his head and smiled upon the doctor's arrival. The seated guard at his post, stood to be of service.

"Good morning, boys, just a normal visit." He checked the charts of the first row and made lighthearted comments on their improvements. He greeted each man warmly and shook their hands. A tried and true routine throughout his tenure at Melbridge. He stopped at the last bed, only to find it empty. His eyes glanced to the nearest window where he found Chuck hypnotized by the golden trees outside. Nate knew any free time Chuck had during the day was spent at that very window.

"Well Chuck, you look better today, a real improvement" Nate took in his patient's rested eyes, his bright smile as Chuck turned to face his closest friend.

Since Nate found it comical to treat a man without a sense of identity, he took it upon himself to give him the name of his younger brother who had died of diphtheria. Being only a few years older than Chuck, he felt a brotherly connection with him and it seemed appropriate. Nate only managed to stay out of the war because of a leg injury he sustained in childhood. And now the thought of Chuck leaving his care saddened him.

Chuck beamed with satisfaction on hearing the doctor's compliments. He was hopeful of the development he made in his session and eager to see if his release would be granted. A slight smirk crept onto his lips. Each day he practiced the smile in the window, hoping one day for it to be believable enough so he may leave Melbridge. Unconvinced he was ever being released into the arms of family; Chuck wanted to start a new life, somewhere away from this cold medical prison. He did not know his trade or talents. Through his conversations with Nate, he managed to piece together the images of him hiding from the Germans before being captured. He believed deep down that somewhere inside he could find those resources again. He just needed the chance to prove it.

"I have some news for you, are you interested?" Nate asked, his eyes questioning. "There are some people here who are very anxious to see you. A Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd."

Chuck's face showed no recognition; his eyes did not flinch at the sound of their names. "Lloyd?" he repeated to himself. He shook his head in confusion and disappointment.

"Their son was reported missing in 1917, at Arras. The same place you were found," Nate explained, walking over to Chuck. His hands grabbed his arms in comfort. "Now don't get your hopes up, man, you may not be their son."

Chuck's confidence soared at the possibility of having a real family and he decided to relish this new opportunity. He would soon know if outside this room awaited his loving mother and father, and his chance at a new beginning.

"My parents, my father?" he questioned Nate.

"See, you speak well enough when you want to. It's just a matter of confidence."

Nate knew well enough through his daily talks with Chuck that building his confidence was the biggest hurdle. Every day he went over the little information he had of Chuck's life with him, in hopes he would recollect something from his past. To have some breakthrough, even if the events were painful to hear. He always started the day with a compliment and a positive word. The nightmares Chuck experienced almost from the beginning of his stay had begun to subside. Those night terrors were flooded with the feel of barbed wire, the smell of chlorine gas, and images of bodies being blown into the air by land mines.

"We'll go get you dressed up a bit and bring you to the reception area."

Chuck swallowed the lump in his throat, repeating the name Lloyd over and over as he was led out of the infirmary.

An orderly took Chuck to the empty waiting room. He picked the nearest table and sat down. Chuck had changed into his British Army uniform, clean and pressed from his stay in Germany. The buttons shined and Chuck nervously reached for the gold and black Infantry badge on his sleeve.

"If….if?" he can barely say the words.

"If they are your parents…?" the orderly finished.

"They would take me out of here?"

"We'll see what happens."

Chuck continued to sit, his dark eyes fixed on the glass pane in the door. Suddenly three silhouettes appeared in the pebbled glass. Chuck could barely make out the faces. Dr. Archibald reached for the doorknob only to have Mrs. Lloyd stop his hand. She hesitated for a moment but the doctor continued on. They walked into the lonely room as an eager Chuck waited. He stood to greet the couple and looked for some sort of recognition. He smiled and started to hold out his arms for an embrace but stopped himself when he was met with a cold wall of indifference. Mrs. Lloyd did not move toward him, her eyes filled with immediate sadness. Her husband locked eyes with Dr. Archibald and shook his head.

"He's not your son then?" Nate asked for confirmation

"No."

Chuck felt confused and he lowered his arms in defeat. Mrs. Lloyd swiftly turned to her husband and he led her out of the room. Her cries were their only goodbye to the disappointed faces left behind.

"I'm sorry, Chuck. I really am, but I told you not to count on it." Nate went to comfort Chuck but he shrugged off his gesture. Chuck blinked away the tears before Nate could see them. Nate decided to leave Chuck and walked out of the room. Alone once again, Chuck relived the brief moments over in his head and made his way to the window. He watched Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd walk down the leaf ridden pathway that led away from the building. His last chance at a real family was walking away, walking away from him. No one was coming for him. Finally convinced he was truly alone, Chuck's jaw tightened as he began to plan his escape.

A/N: Sorry for the lack of C&B interaction. It's coming up in Chapter Two. Don't worry. Thank you to Robin ( Noirreigne ) and Guardian Izz for the fabulous beta work and encouragement. And a special thanks to my poll voters, the history lovers won and that's what you got. Hope you like it!