Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. And I totally don't dream about what it would be like if I did.
Chapter 1
If Only
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My hand rested on his shoulder as I smiled at him, eyes twinkling in the morning sunlight. "Light Yagami, can I speak to you for a moment? There's something I'd like to… discuss." I purposefully let my voice trail off into a whisper, blushing as if I was on camera being filmed for some romance movie. His reaction went from shock to curiosity as my hand trailed down to grab his, pulling him to the side and away from the prying eyes of the small crowd.
I was sick of it all, of this world. People lived only to die. They acted only to harm. They spoke only to lie. I understood what he was thinking at that moment. I had thought the same way when I had first laid my hands on that notebook, felt the soft, cool texture as I ran my fingers through the pages. It had ruined me, brought me to my highest only to sweep me under the bus so that I crashed down without any warning. It wouldn't happen to anyone else, so long as I may live.
"What's the matter, Yumiko?" Light's voice asked calmly, his head tilted to the side in an innocent manner. "Did something happen?" He tried to hold the book out of sight, but I had seen it fall, I had seen him pick it up. It didn't matter how hard he tried to keep me from noticing. I knew it was there, behind his back. He had no idea what he would be getting himself into if he kept hold of it.
There was no sight of a shinigami, but I knew whichever one had dropped that Death Note would show their twisted face soon enough. I had to be quick, for if it saw me it would know what I was. I couldn't take that risk, not until Light was safe. Not until he was out of the equation, with no memories and no evidence.
"Oh, I'm so glad you could talk to me, Light," I sighed, faking distress. The proud student in front of me let concern flash across his face, only to remind himself to relax. I understood this; it was hard to focus when emotions came into play. They warped your mind until you could no longer think straight. "You see, I've always… Hey, what's that? In your hand?" A twist he hadn't been expecting, or at the very least was hoping to go on without. It was evident in his eyes. There was the saying that a person's soul could be seen through their eyes. Light didn't know it, but that was actually the easiest way to read him.
It was only a moment before he recomposed himself, allowing a forced smile to show. "It's just a journal. I hope you don't think of it as silly, but I much rather enjoy writing down my thoughts." Cautiously yet with a quick sort of ease, he slipped the Death Note into his bag, laughing lightly. "Anyways, what is it that you wanted to speak with me about?" He was always straight to the point, even under pressure, and especially when he wanted something.
"Your journal, huh? It's not silly; I keep one too. But, Light, would you do me a favor?" I hushed my tone back into one of a sweet, innocent schoolgirl rather than that of a suspiciously questioning woman. The sudden changes frustrated him, I could tell, but that was just what I wanted. Confusion led to uncertainty, which in turn led to fear. He nodded, and I looked down at my feet, rocking side to side to give him the impression of nervousness. Light needed to believe that he could control me, that I was someone easily manipulated and therefore not a threat. With a shy smile parting my lips I waited for a few minutes before continuing, darkening my demeanor into something much more threatening. "When the person who dropped their notebook shows up, you should really give it back to them. It would be rude not to." With that I skipped away, rushing over to my friends and giggling as if I had done something scandalous, giving them only vague answers to their eager questions.
"To answer your concerns, Yumiko," Light said, tugging on my arm so that I would spin around and face him. "I think things will work out just fine. If they really want it back, I'll gladly return it, but I doubt that'll be the course of events." He was emotionless, eyes hardened and muscles tensed. It was no good. He hadn't listened nor taken my words into consideration. If anything, he seemed to be only more suspicious of me than he had ever been. That's okay. I didn't plan on stopping.
"Of course. I trust your judgment, Light." I bowed politely, and a few of the other girls whispered frantically into each other's ears, most likely misinterpreting the entire situation. In all honesty, though, I could care less about their meaningless and spineless gossip. My focus was firmly planted on the man in front of me, his icy cold hands sending chills throughout my arms and the image his of seemingly sweet smile burning into my mind. There had to be some way to help him, some way to make him see the truth hidden within the lies of this world, of that notebook. He had no idea what he did for me, how much those few charismatic words when we first met had saved me. I had every intention to return the favor, even if it killed me.
He began to walk away, hands in his pockets and eyes shut. No, not yet. "Oh, but Light!" I shouted at him, regaining his attention. I couldn't tell if he was annoyed or simply frustrated, but nonetheless, he still held his head up. "I suddenly remembered. I'm not free on Friday. Perhaps we could rearrange the dinner to be on Saturday instead?"
"Yes, I think that would be alright. Momoko's is still open around 5 on Saturdays, too, so there shouldn't be any problem," he replied with ease, not even a moment of hesitation passing by. Good, he had caught on quicker than I had expected. Saturday, 5 pm, at Momoko's Diner. I would be there.
"Great! I'll see you then. I'm sure we have a lot of things to talk about regarding that project." I was fairly certain that during the four days in between today and Saturday he would test out the Death Note and the shinigami will have arrived. The notebook will have probably already begun to corrupt his mind, but I wasn't left with much of a choice. He needed to know that what he was dealing with was real and that I was someone who knew about it. That alone would compel him to meet with me, whether out of simple curiosity or a desire to get rid of me. "Make sure to come alone, just us two, okay Light? I'll be upset if you bring someone else along." An innocent giggle left my lips, but he could tell I was faking it. Hopefully, by then he'll know who I mean.
Taking a long look at the vibrant, blue sky, I decided that I was prepared for the consequences of my actions, whatever they may be. Someday, he'll thank me. Someday, he'll understand. But for right now, I just needed to compel him into doing what I needed him to. That couldn't be too hard, right?
A/N: Don't worry! I don't plan on stopping "Cherry on Top" as of right now. This is definitely a second priority, not to mention a random idea that probably won't go anywhere. Honestly, I'm not even sure if I'll continue this. But, of course, if you guys want me to, I think that could be arranged. Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a great day/night wherever you are!
Edit (2/13/18): I'm in the process of re-writing some of these chapters, mostly because I'm appalled by how inconsistent I was (having to balance writing with school) and because I just overall think all of my writing sucks every time I re-read it. For those of you who love this story (and/or are probably planning to come at me with pitchforks for having not updated in like forever), please bear with me a little while longer while I get back into the swing of things! Xoxo~
