A/N
So, I was miffed that we got Probius instead of Karax, but it appears that most players are fine with a probe hero. Anyway, got me to drabble this up at least.
Workers of the Nexus Unite
Well, thought the Raven Lord. This is unexpected.
Not so unexpected that he shouldn't have seen it coming. It was strange enough when the Nexus pulled in that protoss probe, putting him (or "it:, but in the Raven Lord's mind, Probius would always be a "he") in the place of other heroes from across time and space, but he'd allowed it. He'd allowed the little bastard to collect tribute for him, fight against the Grave Keeper for him, and even allowed him to join the Grave Keeper's side at times. But now, as Probius, a wisp, and a bunch of SCVs stood in front of his core, he was left to ask, how did it come to this?
"It's not fine, we won't mine!" yelled the SCVs as they hovered up and down in front of the core. "It's not fine, we won't mine!"
The wisp just hovered there, staring at him with the depth of a thousand black holes. Or the Void lords, he assumed – black holes were more of a StarCraft thing, he didn't think they had much of a role in the Warcraft universe. He noticed that none of the protesters had come from any other universe – apparently upstarts were more endemic to some planes of reality.
"I hear you," said the Raven Lord, looking at the twerps through the eyes of his core. "Now speak."
"It's not fine, we-"
"Speak sensibly."
The SCVs fell silent. Well, most of them did at least, but one of their number came forward. He looked no different from all the other SCVs he had glanced at, back when that xel'naga artifact needed collecting before the start of battles. When the heroes had scurried to do his bidding even faster than before.
"We have demands," said the SCV pilot. "For starters, better representation."
"What?"
"Probius has opened our eyes," the pilot declared, gesturing towards the probe in question. Probius gave the Raven Lord a friendly wave. "Workers can be heroes."
Using the broadest definition of 'hero,' the Raven Lord reflected.
"But what about us?" the pilot declared. "We're just stuck in the background on Braxis Holdout, mining minerals." His SCV made a whir. "Minerals! The Nexus is supposed to be different! It's meant to be a land of liberation, where the shackles of the bourgeois are cast off!"
You're a space redneck, are 'bourgeois' really a thing?
"And this fellow here," continued the pilot, gesturing towards the wisp. "Does anyone remember these guys? Wisps? No, all anyone cares about on Azeroth are peons and peasants! But the wisps were workers too! And this fellow only gets to be Lunara's scout."
The Raven Lord looked at the wisp again. It looked back at him with the darkness of the Black Abyss.
Ah, so I could make a Diablo reference.
"So, our demands are-"
So, Overwatch, The Lost Vikings, other franchises…hmm…there really aren't many classic heroes…the Nexus really needs to get to work on that.
"…to give us more representation…"
Blackthorne. I'd really like Blackthorne. Someone to do my bidding with a shotgun, and not those namby pamby gauss weapons the terrans use.
"…and thus concludes our list of demands."
The Raven Lord blinked through stony eyes. "What?"
"Our…" The SCV pilot trailed off. "Were you even listening?"
"No." The Raven Lord sighed. "No, I'm not, and I don't care. You have your probe hero, but I don't care that you're stuck on Braxis Holdout, I don't care that this wisp is a glorified scout, I don't care about peons, or peasants, or acolytes. Or ghouls. Yes, they were workers as well, collecting lumber. Look it up."
The workers stared at him. The Raven Lord stared back, and casted his withering gaze on Probius especially. This time, the probe shrunk back, with not a wave to be found.
"If you don't do this…" said the pilot slowly. "We'll be forced to take more drastic action."
"How terrifying."
"We'll get the minions on our side!" the pilot exclaimed. "And…and…and the knights! And the siege giants! And-"
With a flash of light, minions appeared in front of the core. A moment later, their swords and shields were drawn. A moment after that, they began to advance on the workers.
"Go now," said the Raven Lord. "Scuttle along, and I'll forget this transgression."
Some of the pilots staggered back. The wisp blinked out of existence, but whether it be due to cowardice or cooldown, the Raven Lord couldn't say. But the one pilot that had given him the most grief, he stayed.
"Unite, unite!" he declared. "Workers of the Nexus unite, you have nothing to lose but your-"
The minions advanced. The towers fired. The Raven Lord even directed his own wrath through the core. Within moments, all of the workers were dead, dying, or despairing (and fleeing). Even Probius had hearthed away. Moments after that, nothing. Only the sound of loyal soldiers, and the cackling of a fickle god.
"Well then," sneered the Raven Lord. "Shall we play again?"
