"He's just an android."
"Not even a real person."
"He doesn't matter."
"He doesn't even have a soul."
Their words bounced back and forth through Marcus's mind. Douglas, Donald, Bree... They all said these things. They all attacked his humanity. Did he even have any humanity to attack? He was just an android. How could something that wasn't human have humanity or a soul?
These thoughts had been invading Marcus's mind increasingly for the last several weeks. What did it mean to be a human? What did it mean to have a soul? And more importantly, did Marcus meet those requirements? All these questions had been eating away at Marcus, dampening his spirits, giving him an awful pressure in his chest.
They made normally happy experiences dull and disappointing. Several times every week, Chase would sneak out to see him. They would go out and simply spend time together. It didn't matter what. They would eat out, go to the beach or the park, hang out at the mall or the arcade, anything. As long as they were together, they were happy.
But lately these meetings didn't seem to bring Marcus any happiness. The familiar rush of excitement and adrenaline he got from seeing Chase's face had been replaced with a sinking feeling of worry. How could Chase really love someone who wasn't real? What if Chase's love was as fake as he was? If he wasn't a real person, then how could he be certain that any of their feelings were real?
That night, they had decided to simply laze around an open field a few miles outside of town. It was late, and the clear sky away from the city lights made for excellent stargazing. They were laying down, grass shooting up all around them and rubbing along the length of exposed skin down their arms. Marcus had his right hand intertwined with Chase's own left hand. It was almost customary for them. They would hold hands whenever they could. The contact comforted Marcus, at least a little. He was still much too overcome with worry to enjoy the moment, but Chase's hand definitely helped give his mind something to focus on.
"That's queen Cassiopeia right there. She's the mother of Andromeda, over there," Chase said, pointing towards two groups of stars. "Cassiopeia proclaimed herself to be more beautiful than the Nereids, and in response to her vanity, Poseidon sent the sea monster Cetus to terrorize her land. In order to stop the beast, Cassiopeia left Andromeda chained to a rock as a sacrifice to Poseidon, but she was saved by Perseus."
Marcus squeezed tighter on Chase's hand. Truthfully, he wasn't listening to the story, but he still liked to hear Chase's voice. "And there is Sagittarius. Supposedly, people born under Sagittarius are philosophical and have big hearts. You're a Sagittarius, right?"
A big heart. Generosity. Emotions. Did Marcus have emotions or were they simply a bunch of switch states in a computer?
"That's right," Marcus said simply, his voice drifting off in the light August wind.
Chase turned his head toward the other boy, earning a face full of grass for his trouble, but he ignored it for the most part, focusing on the boy in front of him. "Are you alright?"
Marcus didn't reply, only softly kneading his thumb into the other boy's hand and staring up at the stars above them. They lay there for a few minutes in silence, Chase staring at Marcus, wondering if he'd give an answer any time soon, and Marcus staring at the sky, caressing Chase's hand with his own.
All around them were the sounds of the night: the grass rustling in the wind, the slight chirp of crickets in the distance, the quiet scraping of leaves blowing over the ground. But the only noise coming from the two boys was the faint huff of breaths coming and going slowly.
Until Marcus finally decided to respond. "Do you think I'm just an android?"
Chase sat up slowly, not letting go of the other boy's hand. "What do you mean?" he asked, placing his other hand around Marcus's.
Marcus shifted his gaze to look into Chase's eyes. "Do you think I'm not real, that I don't have a soul?"
The boy closed his eyes and squeezed Marcus's hand tightly. "Is that what's been making you so distant these past few weeks?"
Marcus didn't reply, but his face made it fairly obvious that it was true.
"I guess I get it," Chase said, opening his eyes to stare into Marcus's once more. "With how the family talks about you, it must be hard to not take some of it to heart." He stopped for a few seconds, trying to gauge Marcus's reaction, but he was always good at hiding his emotions. "Then you tell me, what do you feel when you hold my hand?"
Marcus kept staring at Chase, not knowing exactly how to answer the question. "I feel," he began, not sure exactly how to word his thoughts. "Peaceful. Safe, like I have something reliable to hold on to."
Chase smiled at the boy before him. "Does a machine feel? Does a machine know what safety feels like?" He pulled Marcus up by the arm so he was sitting up and facing him. "Of course it doesn't. But you know those feelings, and that makes you a human. A real human. When I hold your hand, I feel a connection to you. I can feel how excited you are. I can feel your pulse. I can feel your thumb twiddling against my hand. I can feel you in your hands, and I can see you in your face. Your eyes light up when you're excited and you cast them down when you're uncertain. Your smile comes out when you're happy and when you want me to be happy. You have these emotions, ones I can see, ones you can feel, and that's how you know you're real."
Marcus simply stared back into the other boy's eyes, lost in thought.
Chase thought for a short second, too. "Since you Saggitarii are so philosophical, just use the cogito. You think, therefore you are."
Marcus chuckled at that. "That only works if you're questioning existence, not humanity."
"Then change it up a bit. You feel, therefore you're human. What's more human than that?"
Marcus smiled. He had no objection to that argument. "Well, I guess that settles it, then."
Chase gave the boy a gentle kiss, his lips smiling against the other's cheek. Their hands tightened in each other's grasp, fingers lacing together and pulling their palms together. Their bodies lay back down, eyes filling up with stars. The two stayed in that position, reveling in each other's presence.
