I hadn't talked to Mitch for a year. A whole. Freaking. Year. I didn't get to talk to my best friend for over 365 days because of my girlfriend. She was always so clingy. Originally, I thought that she would be a nice change to my life. She turned out to only make it worse.
The truth was, I loved Mitch. At first, I thought that Louise would get my mind of him. But she would never let me talk to him, she was so overprotective, and and time I tried to break up with her she would pretend she didn't hear me or pull of a 'but I love you...' puppy dog face.
I decided that I needed to visit him and, because I had no choice, Louise came. I drove to his apartment building in the rental car only to find a crowd of people surrounding it. Because of my height, I could see over the majority of the people. But what I saw... I wish I could un-see.
Mitch's body. He was in a terrible condition. Blood was splattered everywhere. His limbs were in inhumane positions. His head... I don't even want to say anything about that. That only lead to one conclusion: he jumped off a 10 story building.
Tear came streaming down my face. Louise placed her hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong, Jerome? What happened?" she asked. "Mitch... It's Mitch. He's dead."
Technically, I didn't know that. But, really? I don't think anyone could save him in that condition. The best the doctors could do was probably replace his heart with a baked potato to ensure 3 extra seconds of life.
"Shh, babe. It's okay," she cooed.
"No! It's not okay! He's my best friend; he always will, even if he's gone! And it's a your fault! I'm the one who kept him sane, from committing suicide, and you had to stop me from doing that by not letting me talk to him for a year! And you never fucking listened. To me when I'd try to break up with you! I kept trying to leave, but no matter what I did you always tried to pull me back! And you always succeeded somehow!" I screamed.
Instead of what I thought would happen (her getting really sad and beg me to stay), she got angry. "Fine! I never loved you in the first place! I just wanted to keep you from everything that would happen when you found out that Mitch loved you!" she screamed back. She grabbed the rental car keys out of my hand and stomped away.
Mitch... M-Mitch loved me? And she knew? How would she know? She never talked to him! Mitch hated her. Wait. Mitch hated her. It all made sense. The first and last time Mitch saw Louise, I could see a strange look in his face. Whenever I was Skyping with him (you know, before she took control of my life) and even mentioned, his reply was laced with an unusual tone. That tone was jealousy, the look on his face was envy. And that was all caused by me.
Not to mention, he was gone. Forever. I would never truly get to see my Biggums again. If never hear the dumb jokes he'd always tell, or the cute laugh that erupted from his mouth, or get to hear the way he said lava. I'd never seen his chocolate brown eyes, or the hair that was always messy in a neat way. I'd never get to see Mitch face-to-face in real life ever again.
He's my best friend. He knew me inside and out - besides the fact that I liked him. We would always talk about what we wanted to grow up into and what we'd fantasize about. And I'm never going to be able to et anything like that with anyone else ever again.
What hurt most is that I could've stopped it. If I had just confessed... My Biggums would be here and we would both be happy.
As I walked towards my back up place to stay, Mat's house, I swear I heard a song. A familiar voice singing my favorite song. A song that sounded my current situation, one side if my life. Like someone was blaming me for what happened.
Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.
