Twilight Revisited
Summary: How a certain scene could have gone. Edward insist that he is dangerous and that she should stay away, but Bella makes her feelings on the matter clear. Despite their want, could it still be so wrong? AU.
They stood in the forest, opposite each other. Bella glared at Edward, who seemed pained and looked away. There were three meters between them, yet it felt like miles.
Bella felt small, her thoughts jumbled together in her confusion. She was both furious and pleading, and she didn't know how much of this she could take. She had never, in her entire life, felt normal. She took care of her mother most of the time, despite the rest of the world clearly doing it the other way around. She was pale and clumsy and didn't fit into the charming picture of was an Arizona girl should be like. When she moved to Forks, it was clear from the start that she, for some reason, stood out there too. She wasn't interested in the typical teenage life. In a way, she wasn't interested in life that much, she just wanted to get by. At least, that was how she felt before she met Edward. Somehow, he made her feel like she belonged, and everything about whatever life could be became interesting when he was with her. He made her feel normal.
That was really quite ironic, since Bella was way more normal than him, what with his being a mythical yet vegetarian vampire with mind reading abilities and such. But somehow, they fit. At least she thought so, which she had told him just about a million times. He couldn't disagree with her, having already admitted how much he cared for her. Yet they kept coming back to this stupid argument.
"You know it's wrong, Bella," Edward said again, carefully avoiding her eyes. She stood her ground and pouted when he couldn't resist to sneak a look at her.
"How can it be wrong when we clearly care for each other?" she asked sourly, knowing that it wouldn't convince him.
"We're basically different species!" he said, clearly frustrated. "I cannot give you the life you deserve, and you know that. You may not want it right now, but someday you will, trust me," he said, copying her and glaring slightly. She opened her mouth to argue, but he cut her off.
"I am almost a hundred years older than you, and you are little more than a child! Based solely on that, our relationship is illegal in most countries. It's right up there with dating your teacher, or your uncle, or something. It's horrid. I'm horrid."
Bella drew an angry breath. She couldn't stand listening to him when he said such nonsense about himself. It was terrible how guilt ridden he was, how he pounced at every chance to take himself down. Sometimes she thought he had even worse self esteem than she did. "You are not horrid! I love you, so don't you dare say such things about yourself to me! And that is my point, no matter how many arguments you come up with – we love each other, and that trumps everything. How can you still not get that?"
Edward watched her with burning amber eyes. She saw that raw caring feeling in them – they betrayed the words he had not yet spoken. Bella wouldn't budge, and he knew that. That made the next thing he said so much worse.
"I can't do this anymore."
It felt like someone had kicked her in the stomach. She started to stutter something, angry tears already forming in her eyes.
"No, Bella, I won't do this, I can't do this. It doesn't matter how I feel about you, since this entire relationship is wrong and makes me feel disgusted by myself. I'll leave you, and in time you'll see it's for the best," he said, pain clear in his eyes, but his voice was determined. She could do nothing as he turned and walked away.
Maybe it is for the best, said a small voice in her head. She immediately hated that voice. Actually, she had hated it before, since that was the same voice that had spoken with concern when she learned of Edward true nature, his family, and generally anything that could harm her about Edward's condition. Despite her hating that voice, she couldn't not listen to it. Bella fear that she would, in time, actually come to agree with it, and that scared her. But right now she was just to furious towards Edward, that she couldn't even bother to be sad about his pathetic goodbye. She trudged through the forest and went home, where Charlie, who seemed to notice her seething, carefully left her alone.
'
The coming weeks she would go through a lot of different phases – the anger would leave room for the sadness and the pain, and after a disarray of uncomfortableness she would indeed come to terms with what happened, and start listening to that concerned voice. Maybe it actually was for the best. Who knew what dangers could have happened her in the company of a vampire? After searching the net and bookshops for similar stories, Bella decided that she really rather didn't want to find out.
