A/N: My newest story. The story switches between present day and the past. Each chapter talks about what is going on right now with Reid and then each chapter ends in a flashback of something that relates to what is happening in the present day. Special thanks to all my faithful reviewers and they'recomingtotakemeaway for everything that she does. Enjoy.


Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.

- Franklin Roosevelt

-Prologue-

They were living a good life together – a great one even. It was a happy relationship that anyone would have been jealous of. That's why Spencer Reid was so confused when he woke up one morning to find Derek Morgan gone. He had left in the middle of the night with no explanation. No phone call, no note, no nothing that summarized his sudden departure. He was just gone; he didn't even bother packing his things. Derek Morgan left Spencer Reid all of his belongings. Worse he left Spencer with remarkable memories – they served as a constant, painful reminder of how special their bond once was. He didn't know what happened or what he did wrong but what Spencer did know was that he would do anything to have Derek in his arms one last time.


-Present Day-

Spencer Reid sipped his coffee and tilted back in his chair as he held the newspaper in his other hand. It was Sunday which means half of the newspaper's readers were eight year olds reading the comics and geniuses tearing apart how unrealistic they were. Even at an early age Spencer loved to read the comics and talk about how impractical everything was. His biggest pet peeve was how Garfield could talk. He was a cat for goodness sake. Lasagna would probably kill him.

He flipped the page to the obituaries. It wasn't like death surrounded him enough already but he felt guilty if he didn't. These people were mothers, fathers, friends, cousins, nieces, aunts, children, adults. Their stories deserved to be read at least by one person who didn't know them. There was a knock on his door. Reid set the paper down and walked to his entrance way. He looked through the hole and then opened the door and smiled.

"Hey JJ, what are you doing here?" he asked moving aside so she could walk into his apartment. She looked at him with a surprised expression plastered across her face. "What's wrong?"

"Why are you dressed for work?" JJ asked looking him up and down.

"Because we have to be there in," Reid looked down at his watch, "thirty-two minutes."

"You aren't actually going to work today, are you?" JJ asked as Reid picked up his bag and began to walk outside.

"Of course, why not?" Reid walked past her and waited outside for her to follow so he could lock the door.

"Spence," JJ reached out and grabbed his shoulder, "You and Morgan loved each other and nobody will think any less of you if you take a day or week to recollect. You have been through a lot and…"

"JJ, I'm fine." Reid said reaching out and touching her shoulder gently. She gave him a questioning look, "Honest."

She knew this was a battle she couldn't win. No matter how much good a day off would do Reid he would always refuse to take one.

"At least let me drive you instead of taking the subway." He nodded knowing that it was an even compromise and climbed into the passenger seat. She got into the driver's seat still unsure of taking him into work but figured once they got there maybe Hotch could reason with him.

"Ready?" she asked making sure this was really what he wanted. Reid nodded as if it was just another question. "All right."

"How's Henry doing?" he asked breaking the awkward silence that floated in the atmosphere. He had never enjoyed moments of absolute quietness and was please when Morgan would allow him to keep the television on until he fell asleep.

"Henry's doing great." She said smiling and keeping her eyes on the road. She couldn't bear to look at him; this was all just too strange for her.

"That's good." Reid said awkwardly trying to keep the conversation alive. It didn't work. Every time he would ask JJ a question he was greeted with a one or two word answer. After a long and painful twenty-two minute – Reid timed every second – car ride they arrived at the building.

"Here we go." Said JJ whispering to herself and taking a deep breath before she and Reid walked into the office.

"Reid!" said Emily sounding shocked. She jumped up from her desk and swung her arms around Spencer. "I didn't think you would be here for at least a couple of days."

"It's no big deal that he's gone." It shouldn't be. It hurt him; it killed him but after a weekend of thinking he knew breaking up was something everyone did. He just wished it hadn't been so dramatic and that he at least knew what had gone wrong.

"Reid." A strong voice came from above the group and they all looked up to see Aaron Hotchner starring at them, "I want to see you in my office."

He set his bag down on top of his desk and walked up the small flight of stairs. Aaron and he walked back together and then went into the office.

"Close the door." Aaron said not taking his usual place at the seat behind his desk.

"What's going on? Did I do something wrong?" Reid asked concerned.

"No. I just want to make sure you're doing okay. If you need to take a week off I understand. I had the same talk with Garcia and she's taking five days off."

"Garcia is taking off work for Morgan?" Reid asked a little shocked at how everyone was taking the situation.

"They were best friends; it's only natural that she take some time to herself. Look, when Hailey died I took time off; maybe you should do the same."

"Hotch, Hailey was your ex-wife and she was killed. Morgan and I had only moved in with each other two months ago and he wasn't murdered by some psycho."

"It's just…" Aaron was at a loss for words. He didn't expect Reid to be taking the situation so well.

"Hotch; I'm sure wherever Derek is he's happy, he's in a better place. I'm okay with it. I do wish people would stop bringing it up though." Reid said, "If you don't mind I would really just like to work."

"I won't make you leave but feel free to come to me if you need someone to talk to." Reid nodded and promptly left the office. He saw Emily snap her head back down as if she hadn't been waiting for Hotch's office door to fly open.

"Is it just me or is everyone acting a little crazy around here?" Reid asked sitting down at his desk. Emily looked up from the file she had opened.

"What are you talking about?" she looked confused and Reid didn't know why. He shrugged not wanting to explain his thoughts about how everyone was overreacting.

"I do miss him. It's weird with him not cracking jokes all the time." Emily looked away and Reid could have sworn she was going to cry, "But we've lasted longer without him. He's taken a week off before and we barely missed him. It was actually a nice break."

"Reid, if you ever need to talk about him, I'm a great listener."

"I know Emily, thanks. Everyone keeps offering but I swear I'm doing okay. How are you?" she smiled weakly, nodded and looked back down.

"I'm doing fine." She kept her head down and looked at the file on her desk. He had to admit that the silence was agitating him. There was no Derek Morgan making jokes or laughing on the phone with Garcia. There were no sudden shrieks when Derek would sneak up behind Reid and tickle him. The office was dead quiet but he had lasted without Morgan before and he would have to now.


-January 2nd, 2010-

It wasn't unusual for it to snow this time of year but Reid, who was already clumsy, found he was constantly slipping and sliding across the entire town.

"No Morgan?" asked JJ when she saw that Reid had entered the bullpen alone. The two had been arriving together long before they were an actual couple but since they had become "an item" it was rare that you ever saw the two separated. He unwrapped his scarf as he suddenly felt the heater kicking on and then shook his head to answer her question.

"He was feeling a bit under the weather today so I told him to stay home." Reid threw his bag and scarf onto his desk and slid the gloves off of his hands. It was going to be a long day. He always felt achy in the cold weather. When it snowed Reid swore he could feel every injury he sustained in life.

"Where's my mocha latte with foam?" asked Garcia rushing into the room.

"There's coffee being brewed right now but I don't think it's a latte." Prentiss said pointing towards the break room.

"She wants to know where Morgan is, it's her new nickname for him." Reid laughed; Emily chuckled as well.

"Where is he Mr. Vanilla Bean Frappuccino?" she asked turning towards Reid.

"Garcia, you shouldn't take all your nicknames from a Starbucks menu." JJ laughed.

"They fit everyone perfectly." Garcia said quickly hushing everyone's laughter, "Now where is he?"

"He has a cold, he'll be back tomorrow." Said Reid drinking the scolding coffee from the mug he had brought from home.

"I need to talk to him now." She whined and stomped her feet like an angry kid.

"Why?" asked Emily curious.

"No reason." Garcia said too quickly before rushing out of the room.

"What's up with her?" JJ asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I don't know and according to Morgan I know everything." Reid joked and sipped his drink again. He started typing on his computer. It was a tedious day but there hadn't been any serious cases yet so the team had nowhere to go. Although happy that he didn't have to travel without him, a part of Reid wished they had some place to go so he didn't just sit at the desk all day. The stagnant movement caused him to think about Morgan's absence every second.

Six o'clock hadn't come soon enough. Reid jumped up and ran outside to his car. He almost fell several times but managed to make it safely to his vehicle on both feet. Once inside he cranked up the heater and pulled out his phone.

A sneeze answered on the other line.

"I'm bringing home chicken noodle soup, Gatorade, Puffs tissues and Jell-O, how does that sound?" Reid smiled as he began to pull out of the parking lot.

"Soubs pretty great." Morgan said congested, "Thankboo Bried."

"You're welcome. See you in thirty." Reid hung up the phone and smiled. He always forgot how lucky he was. It was a long day without Morgan but he would be back the next day and Reid had that to look forward to.


A/N: What do you think so far? Would you like to see it continued?