Yeah, I do it. So what? Plenty a kids do it when they get all stressed. I don't see you interrogatin them!
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Pffft, yeah right…. Okay, big deal! Whatta ya want, a novel?
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….. Oh…. Really? Uh… No. Nahh, you don't wanna hear about it. It's stupid and, oh! S' at the lunch bell? No? Cause I mean it SOUNDED like the lunch bell! Aha, ha….
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We still have 55 minutes left don't we? Well…. Guess it's better than math… *sigh* Alright, fine, you win. I'll tell ya… but… but if you tell ANYONE! I friggin SWEAR I'll fill every one a these books of yours with shriveled up gravy! I got my sources!
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… okay… so.. uh, I guess it all started 4 months ago when we had ta go back to school. GOD I didn't wanna come back. Heck if I had it my way, I'd never go back again! School's got no point to it. Okay okay, yeah sure it "prepares you for life experiences" and all, but not really. Is my job gonna depend on me knowing 10 numbers past pie? Or if Jack gave Jill 7 apples so two trains could collide at 10 o'clock? I don't THINK so.
But we had to come back anyway… we? Me, Ed, and Double Dee. My two closest pals. Heh, yeah. I guess you could say I'm kinda there leader. The lump, that's' Ed, would be completely lost without me. Not really the smartest guy. But he's great for muscle work when we're scamming the kids of the cul-de-sac. Plus the guy's hilarious! Slow on the uptake, but if ya need 'im, Ed'll be there. Double Dee? He's the brains. Always goin on about somethin but he wouldn't be Sockhead if he didn't.
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Yeah. The braniac with the sock on his head? The one all you teachers are goin on about. That's him. Eh, but I'm not into 'im for the brains. Sure he plans out all our scams and stuff, after I come up with the idea of course, but he's kinda like…. Like, uh…. I guess, kinda like you, I guess. But less old. Ha! Ha sorry. Hey, you said I could be myself here right?
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A counselor, yeah yeah, that's what I-WhAT! I didn't say I was inta Double Dee! I mean, sure I said it, but I did, NOT mean it like that! I ain't no fairy! I just meant I don't like Sockhead cause he's our Einstein. I mean I like him cause he can, ya know… cheer me up and make sense sometimes. Understands where I'm come'n from a lot. Heh, yeah. The guy does put up a lot with me and Ed's antics. But sometimes, we weasel him into the works, and it's… well it's what the summer is about. The three of us, scamming for cash, jawbreakers, and good times. Not like in school. Nobody likes us at school. All the kids here a friggin against me for no reason! At least when it's summer and we're scamm'n 'um, they're on the other side of the table. But in school, you're all shoved together and ya hear all this BS gossip like, "I hear they're not speaking to each other anymore," and "The dork had it come'n for a long time." God, I hate it here! If it weren't for Ed and Double Dee? I'd be gone two days before Sunday! YES Sunday two days ago! That's what makes it so fast! I have…. I have "issues" with make'n friends okay? Is THAT what you wanna hear? Sheesh… My big bro taught me everything, EVERYTHING I know on how ta be cool. Er… Well actually, I watched him. He'd beat up the kids in the neighborhood, give orders to everybody and they'd totally do what he said! They friggin LOVED the guy and RESPECTED him. Why was it so much easier for him than it is for me…? I dunno… but, its just another reason life sucks…
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Well for one, the homework, the gossip, the cliques, detention and football with a mad lack of chicks… hey, that totally rhymed! I could write a song about it if I wanted. That's how easy it is ta communicate how horrible my life is.
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…. The worst? Oh… well… Double Dee kinda, uh…
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….he's not really, talking ta me anymore… cause uh, sumthin I did… grrr, it was so stupid too. I didn't even have ta do it but I panicked and, we got into a fight, and for like 3 days straight everytime I try and be all civil with the guy I, I just can't, and I blow my top. Even though it's all my fault. The look he gives me when he see's me now…. God….. It's a kinda look like, when he's glare'n at yeah, the words "How could you, it's all your fault" are just BORE'N into your skull from the stare! So lately now I've just been tryin ta leave him alone. He still hangs out with Ed, but Ed says he ain't sayin anything bad about me from behind my back.
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Wha'd I do? I… Kevin was bein a dork as usual, and we kinda had a bet to see who'd be the bigger man. Kevins' been my enemy for like, ever since I was born! The shovel-chinned, cap-wearin jock wanna be loser… I wanted ta put him in his place once and fer all, so I came up with the biggest prank of all! But Double Dee… Double Dee was the butt of the joke…. I mean it's not like he's never been before, but I guess I musta, struck a chord. That stupid hat, that STUPID HAT! He wears it all the time and if I just waited longer I coulda missed and….. well… that didn't happen. Look, I TRIED to apologize, but he said he didn't wanna …
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Hey, I'm fine, okay? I told you that the second I got in here.
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That's great and all but you ain't the boss a me. I'll do whatever I want when I'm deal'n with crap!
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Okay okay, I'll be back tomarrow than… and, if you could do me a solid… could you, not call my folks? I dunno how the'd react and, I kinda don't wanna get grounded or whatever….
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.. Thanks… ya know. You're not so bad… for a school shrink. Well, see ya tomorrow… I guess…
Session 1 complete. Next Scheduled Appointment, tomorrow at 8.
