This story was dared to me.
So the beginning is the same as the other one, but with a different twist! I
hope you enjoy it. Please tell me which one you enjoyed more. -Kaisha
My World
The alternative story to running
By Kaisha
A Second
"In a second
Love
can turn into hate,
Life
will become death,
Our
dreams can be destroyed,
But
remember in one second,
We
can be saved."
–
By Kaisha (3 13 23)
(A
little inspiration)
I ran with all
my strength upon hearing she was there. The dying embers of the sun attested
the lateness of the hour and the wild wind showed its breath. Still, I ran. I ran faster than I ever have
in my life. I ran to hide from my demons. To hide from those memories that threatened to thoroughly destroy me. I
stopped right at the end of the forest, just before the cliff, hidden in the
shrubs. She was there, standing at the edge of the cliff looking out in to the
world. It was as if she was trying to discover its secrets.
"It's not worth it!" I
wanted to scream at her. There was nothing great out there. Don't make the same
mistakes I did. I left this wonderful, miraculous place for a glimpse of the
world. A chance to compare my strengths with others and be the best, but
instead I lost everything. Everything.
You'd be surprised on
how many beatings your pride will endure, before you'll give up. NO matter how
many times you'll sacrifice your pride for things such as love, honor and
friendship, the only thing that will return is the pain. I wanted to die. I
tried so many times, in so many different ways. They all failed; such cruelty
was resulted to the gods. I challenged so many people, winning … Till one beat
me. This man with the blood of so many men, women and children on his hands,
like my hands, can somehow forgive himself and continue living. This man, who
chooses to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. This man, who chooses to
never kill again. It is puzzling, the way he thinks that by protecting
everyone, he could justify the deaths of those he callously murdered. He taught
me many things, but most of all, how to live each day with a purpose.
I spent many nights
thinking, contemplating, wanting to go to you, but I couldn't. I thought, I
wasn't worthy. My dear sweet Misao, I beg you, don't go out there, for you
might become like me. A man who walks the earth with no heart, no soul and no
life…
I see you now standing
there, your face upturned to the sky as if you were praying. Praying for what?
Are you praying that in this adventure, you'll find the answers to your
questions? I tell you the answers are not out there, they are in your arms, in
my arms, and in the arms of those we love.
I can see the tears falling from your face. I
wanted to stop them, I wanted to run to you, hold you in my arms and kiss your
lips. But, I can't; I can't, because I know, that if I did I wouldn't stop with
one kiss. That, if I hold you in my arms, I will never ever let you go.
You
turn around realizing someone's behind you and as if you hear my bittersweet
thoughts, you ran towards me. You ran almost as hard as I did, instinctively
knowing where to go. You ran towards me and I began to feel hope rise within
me. Each footstep that brought you closer to me gave me a glimpse of my future.
The future, that is secure with you, now that I got rid of the ghosts of my
past. You ran towards me. You ran into another mans' arms.
"Sou-chan!"
You cried out. I see you grab and hold him tight. Never letting you go, he
kisses you. He kisses you, as if there is nothing else he can do, to stop your
tears. And In his arms, your tears did stop. He makes you smile. He can always
do that, but I? What do I give you? My gifts are only salty tears.
I
stand there, in disbelief. How can this be happening to me? It is, as if
everything stands still. I am always too late. I am too late to change things,
too late to do anything.
Misao,
dear Misao what happened? Why did I
ever hope, that things will remain the same? How could I ever hope, that you
would wait for a man who is hiding from his demons? I turn around trying to
keep my rising emotions to myself.
"Aoshi-sama."
Upon hearing my name on your sweet lips, I
stop, but I don't turn around and face you. I can't face you. I know if I do, I
might do something that I will regret.
"Aoshi-sama?" You say again. This time, I
can't hold it in anymore. I am so confused. Everything is running together in
my mind. "Why Misao? Why couldn't you have waited for me?!" I say, in calm
voice that is so different from the turmoil screaming in me, the rage of
despair that is festering in my soul.
I
stand in front of you, watching the way you lightly put your hand in his,
knowing that it will never be my hands, my lips or my heated embrace. Your
other hand is on my shoulder and you say, "Please, Aoshi-sama, please
understand."
"Understand? Understand what, Misao? What is
there to understand?" I ask.
All
I want is for things to remain the same, but I know inside me. Yes, inside me a
million voices are screaming. Things will never be the same! What happened?
What went wrong? Am I so unworthy of your love that you would rather stay with
that smiling lunatic?
I am so confused and tired. I want to tell you everything. Everything,
I'm feeling, smelling and seeing for the 1st time, but I didn't. I
have my pride and honor. It is the only thing I can rely on, now. It is the
only constant thing in my life. It is the only thing that will help me survive
and no matter how much I want to tell you to come back and stay in my arms
where things could stay the same. I didn't, because things can't stay the same
and no matter how much, I want to tell you to love me, just me. I can't. All I
can do is stare at her, with my straight face. And my silence, which is more
damning than anything else that I can do or say.
When
you realized that nothing you can do could change my mind, your hand drops in
anger. N0!!! Leave your hand there. Give me a few more seconds to dream, to
remember how this feels like, before I walk out of your life. And even though
tears fell from your eyes, you coldly say, "Aoshi-sama! You're so SELFISH! All
you care about is your stupid honor! You never think about the people who care
about you! You reject them; each time, driving them farther and farther from
you, because all you care about is your pride. That and revenge! Revenge, for
our fallen friends. You say, you do it for honor and pride, but look at your
own actions! That unquenchable thirst for revenge and bloodshed that eats your
soul is not for them, but FOR YOU!!! So go to bed with your pride, because
you'll never have honor and LOVE!" Misao kept quiet after her burst of anger,
she didn't have to say anything else for each word she said was like a twist of
a knife. A clean-cut, making it's most serious damages, inside. She continues in a somewhat calmer voice,
"Aoshi-sama, I can't wait for you, forever. Don't I deserve to feel love too? I
have tried to be there for you, but I have to think about me for a change.
Don't I? Don't I deserve a man who has enough courage to admit he loves me?
That he needs me? A man who is there to
comfort me, takes care of me, not let revenge or honor or even pride stand in
his way. I can't wait anymore." When you finished, Souijiro hold your hand,
silently giving you comfort and strength. I can see him whisper in to your ear.
I can't stand it anymore. I turn around and walk away like the man I am, all
alone filled with hate. I am just frightened and so afraid.
All
I can see is the picture of you in my mind, you holding on to him… One thought
became clear. He has to die. I have to end this eternity of pain. It has to
end. Making that decision I stand up and enter the house.
The sun is setting and the light is slowly
fading away in the horizon. I don't know how long I stood here, outside
watching… thinking… plotting. Misao, he stole you from me. He is responsible
for this pain that refuses to escape me. Then, something in my mind snaps,
letting the demon inside me loose. Maybe, It's because I am tired of running or
maybe I finally see the truth?. I DON'T KNOW!
All
I know is that, I am now in his room, Misao. In the room of the man you love.
He is sleeping there, in front of me. His back's turned away from me. He looks
so peaceful. Let see how peaceful he'll be with my kodachi imbedded in his
face! He' going to die Misao. He's going to pay for taking you away from me.
Will you return to me, when he is gone? He has to go… Look, Misao both of my
hands are raised, holding a single kodachi pointing downwards. Downwards, on
you're dear Souijiro. Downwards, on the
man that destroyed my life! I clench my
fists tight, gathering the strength needed to kill again. The strength to break all the promises I
made. The promises I made to you and myself. I can't control anymore, the
intense emotions inside me. Using both hands and all my strength I rammed my
Kodachi into his heart, instantly killing him Suddenly, a cry fills the night
shattering the silence. I shut my eyes against the horrible sound, trying to
keep myself calm, but the pain still echoed in my mind reaching into my soul,
unlocking it's memories.
"Aoshi…" I turn around
to see who spoke to me… There's no one.
A voice suddenly said,
"AOSHI!"
"Okasan????? OKASAN???
Is that you?" I asked searching if the voice was indeed my mother. Another
voice, deeper said, "Run! Run Aoshi!"
"Onisan??? Where are
you?" I said looking for him in the smoke that suddenly surrounded the room.
Yet another voice said, "Hide Aoshi!"
"Otosan? Otosan? I can't get to you! I can't see you! Get
out!" I said. It all replayed in my mind.
Insert parents fire
scene
Then the room changes
and so does the voices. They become my friends' screams and wails.
Insert scene –
Oniwabanshu
Then a long, piercing
scream echoes in my mind.
Misao is that you?
"MISAO! NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream in
horror. I finally realize the despicable deed I just did. I've taken another
life. I fell to my knees, both hands covering my ears, trying to shut
everything out. Suddenly, the screams stopped. I open my eyes, and I
immediately see Misao lying on the floor. She collapsed from the shock.
"Misao, Misao? Are you okay?" I asked
gathering her into my arms. She refused to move. I just held on to her. Tears
were spilling from the corners of her eyes and she was breathing deeply. It was
like she is dying (*4Add) I can't believe that I did that to her.
I am just so confused.
Trapped
Weakened
Defeated.
Nowhere else to go, and
nothing left to hold onto. I succumb to my destiny and my own death. "Misao," I
whisper as I wipe the tears from your eyes. You being in my arms quieted the
demons that threatened to posses me. Laying you on the bed, I look into your
eyes. They were empty, no emotion flickered in your eyes, and it was almost
like you were dead. All you did is stare at me. I look away, because the
guilt's eating me up.
I have to get out. I have to leave this room I can't stay here.
Everything is confusing me. I ran out. I ran out into the dark woods that only
showed a glimpse of the sunrise to come. I ran with all my strength hiding
behind the pain and exhaustion. For without it, each tick of the clock brings a
memory, a sad memory and a heavy heart.
I look up and see myself on the cliff, the same cliff that you were
standing on. The sun is rising and I, who usually stops and enjoys its splendor,
could only think that it is another day. A day that was once filled with hope
became a brutal reminder of harsh betrayal, my betrayal. I don't know how long,
I stood there, trying to justify his death, when I know that there is nothing
in this world that will justify my murder of Soujiro.
I turn around, to see you standing there behind me. You were wearing
the same kimono, which was now blood stained, you're looking down, and I can't
see your hands, because they are hidden.
"Misao?" I asked, trying to determine your mood.
You lifted your head and said, "Good morning, Aoshi-sama!" before I
knew what happened, Soujiro's Katana, which was hidden at your back went
through my body, piercing my heart. Unlike Soujiro's quick death this is going
to be a slow, painful death. My hands are holding the wound, desperately trying
to stop the pain.
I know, that this is the last time I'll look into your eyes, and what I
see, scares me more than your empty eyes. Your eyes were a reflection of mine.
The hate, the need for revenge is there. You are embracing my world. The world,
I tried to warn you against. The world I'm forcing you to take.
As I take my last breath, I can
see the person you'll become, Misao. You'll be like me, betrayed, destroyed,
filed with hate and the need to avenge your honor, to revenge the deaths of
others. You'll be just waiting to die, all alone. No one to help you or fight
for you. I condemned you to my fate. But looking into your face pass the
burning anger in your eyes, I can see a glimmer of Soujiro's smile. His crazy
smile that opened your soul. So maybe there is still hope. .. Maybe with him
inside you you'll have a different path and death…
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That's it!! How do you guys like it? Well do you guys prefer this or
the first 1???? Well, please don't forget to comment!!!!!!!!!! My email is kaisha_13@yahoo.com
