Hi people of Fanfiction! Okay, so I love the band Plain White T's... and I was listening to their song "Body Parts" and I realized it made a perfect Doctor Who fic! So, here we go...
Disclaimer: I do not own Body Parts or Doctor Who, but I wish I did...
My heart was talking to my head, said 'I've loved once, I'll never love again.'
The Doctor sighed, he had no clue what he was going to do. He was in love, he was married... he had never thought he'd be the type to settle down, but then again, he supposed if you married River Song it couldn't be counted as settling down. And now, he had a problem... he found he couldn't deal with having another campanion. He couldn't do anything without thinking of River Song, he couldn't be friends with anyone if he knew he wasn't with River Song at that percise moment... and he didn't want to be with anyone else. So now he had a dilemma... How was he going to manage being with River full-time? He had a bigger problem though. How would he manage not being with River?
And my head to this replied; 'I'll miss her too, she was easy on the eyes.'
He remembered what he had told Winston Churchill... "Hell in high heels." That remained true... except, on this day, when he met up with River, something was different. She barely knew him... it was truly disheartening. He had broken into her cell and a guard came around the corner.
"Who are you?" he demanded. The Doctor smiled.
"I am the Doctor, I'm sure River has told you plenty about me... Now, where is Professor Song?" The guard held his gun sturdy.
"Excuse me, Doctor... do you need to go back to the phyriatric ward?" The Doctor laughed.
"Probably... now, where is she?"
"I know not of a Doctor River Song..." then he paused. "Actually, yes- she was here. Fourty years ago; she vanished one day though and is presumed dead." The Doctor felt both his hearts drop into his stomach.
"What?" he demanded. He nodded.
"Yes... Now will you please come with me back to phriatric ward?" The Doctor allowed no such thing, instead getting back into the TARDIS and leaving.
Now all they do is look around for you, and everynight with their lids closed tight, they're lost in dreams, that I'll awake and see, you lying next to me.
At first, the Doctor couldn't accept it. He looked for her for ages, expecting that that was just the wrong time stream... but it wasn't. He had used up all his time. River... River Song was dead. He'd go to sleep at night and dream that she was beside her, if he closed his eyes, it was almost as if he could still smell the strawberry shampoo in her seemingly endless curls... But it wasn't so. She... she was gone.
My feet could feel it in their soles, 'We've gone too far, and we'll never make it home.' And these arms they felt the same, they held her once, and they let her slip away.
He was the Doctor. He was supposed to be the master of disease, be above simple human things like depression. But it seemed that that was what had happened... It was stupid, but at Amy's suggestion, he even went to see a therapist.
"It's stupid; I mean, you're just a bloody human therapist, you have a bloody degree in 'feelings'. But I'm telling you my bloody life story; or at least, the revised version that you'd understand..." He ran his fingers through his floppy hair. "Well? What's wrong with me Doc?" The therapist set down her page.
"Doctor, I have a question. Are you in love with someone; dead or alive?"
"...Yes," he answered relunctantly, though surprised that she knew so much.
"Well then, I know what's wrong. You're patronizing attitude suggests that you're overcompensating for something lost- although I'm not fully convinced your not just a little patronizing as it is-, and you keep on looking around, as if you're expecting someone. And you just look sad... Doctor, you're heartbroken."
Now all I do, is look around for you, and every night, with my eyes closed tight, I'm lost in dreams, that I'll awake and see, you lying next to me.
He thought that maybe if he waited long enough, she would come for him. So she waited for days, weeks, months, years in that one place they had kept on meeting up with, the place they had dubbed "theirs"... But she never came.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's how easy the tables can turn. And if there's one thing I know, it's the fine art of letting go.
Nothing is certain in life his something the Doctor had learned throughout the long duration of his... But he realized he needed something to be certain. He needed a constant, he needed something to depend on, rely on... He needed River Song's love in his life. It should have never happened, he let her become what she was, but she had fallen in love with him. He wouldn't have fallen in love with her if not for her constant flirting, teasing, her initial love... and she wouldn't have fallen in love with him if not for his. It wasn't supposed to happen; but he did. Sometimes it's the unplanned, spontanious things that people can't bear to be without. He, of all people should be able to say goodbye. He had done it to countless people... But this crazy, phycopathic girl was not one of these countless people. She was different... Hell, she didn't even count as a person. He had to get her back... but how?
My heart was talking to my head, said I've loved once, I'll never again.
The Doctor found he wasn't certain of much anymore, but he was of one thing. That he could never, ever love anyone else again. River Song had taken part of him, and it was almost like a vital organ. He needed her to feel whole... He was told that he'd have to die. And he had accepted it that someday, he would have to... but not this. This was different... This was worth than death. And he was not going to take this.
And now all I do, is look around for you, and everynight, with my eyes closed tight, I'm lost in dreams, that I'll awake and see, you lying next to me.
Enough. He had had enough of everything... but mainly, life without her. He was going to get her back, one way or another. He didn't know what holes it would rip in the universe, didn't know what hell it would bring to everyone. He didn't know what it would do to himself to meet up with himself, what rules it would be breaking to undo River's death somehow. Her death was a fixed point... but, she had brought him back to life with the small essence of his being left when he was dying from the poison. There was still that much left of her, only in a computer... But, perhaps he could bring her back to life. Her death was a fixed point... But, perhaps, fixed points could be rewritten. He laughed to himself.
"Fixed points can be rewritten..." Now he knew where River got it. And he was going to get her back now... one way or another.
Hey! I hope you enjoyed... please review!
~Fowlfan5
