Disclaimer: I own no part of the Twilight franchise; everything belongs to S.M.


I do not wish [women] to have power over men; but over themselves.
- Mary Wollstonecraft


It wasn't until they were on the plane back to Forks that Bella felt all the grief, all the anger Edward had caused her last fall bubble up inside. She turned her head slightly and caught a quick glance at him. Though his hand still held hers gently, he was brooding, as usual. Head turned away, gazing out the darkened window. Bella felt a growl emerge from deep in her throat and he finally looked at her.

"What is it? Is something wrong? Can I get you anything?" he asked, all attention and sweetness and sad eyes.

Bella growled again and stared at the back of the seat in front of her. She pretended like he hadn't said anything. If she started talking now, she was afraid that not only would she not be able to stop, but she would end up yelling. They'd already had two fussy babies on the flight- it seemed Jasper could do nothing for babies whose ear pressure was out of whack. Go figure. So, no, the other passengers definitely would not want her yelling.

Not that there would be a point. He wouldn't listen. He'd just take it all in and then blame himself again and try to leave again and then she'd be in even worse shape. Although at least now she had some kind of support system. She smiled a little at the thought of Jacob and felt Edward's hand tighten over hers in frustration.

"You have you talk to me sometime," he murmured.

She continued to ignore him, put her headphones back on with her free hand, leaned her head into her pillow and closed her eyes.

Fuck you, Edward. Let's see how you enjoy having the person you love most pretend like you don't exist?

He may be a vampire, but he was a boy too and boys, her mother's many relationships had taught her, could be manipulated.


Although Dr. Cullen had explained that he and his wife would be meeting the kids at the airport, Charlie had insisted on picking Bella up personally. She was his only child and he'd be damned if she spent more than a fourteen hour plane ride with that boy again. He was ready to argue with her about it too, except she ran straight for him when she walked through the gate, gave him a big hug and a bigger smile, waved good bye to Alice and asked where he'd parked.

He was on Daddies' Cloud Nine.

Edward watched Bella go; she could feel his eyes boring into her back. She ignored it and smiled up at her father again.

No, really. Fuck you, Edward.


Later that night, when she woke from a particularly bad Volturi induced nightmare, she saw him standing in the corner of her room. She rolled over and went back to sleep.

"I'd rather face the Volturi again than deal with you right now, Edward," she mumbled sleepily around her pillow. The only response was a slight breeze as her window opened and shut again.

Thanks for leaving when I actually want you to, Edward. That's how it's supposed to work. Fucker.


At school on Monday, all the talk centered around the Cullens' return. Bella nodded and smiled when she was supposed to, but when asked whether she would be attending the spring formal with Edward, now that he was back, she blinked innocently.

"Why? It's not like we're still dating, is it?"

She could practically taste Edward's rage as he heard her answer and nonchalant attitude in the minds of everyone around her.

Alice, she didn't ignore. The petite vampire danced about her on the way to the parking lot after school. "How long are you going to torture him this way?"

"I saved his life. Isn't that enough for now? We're even. Besides, he has to make up for last fall."

Alice frowned. "Last fall?"

Bella gazed at her friend steadily, knowing full well Edward was nearby and listening. "He promised he would never leave me unless I wanted him to. He broke that promise. He broke my heart. I mended it on my own, on my own terms and now he's going to make it up to me on my own terms. All that stuff about not turning me? Garbage. He owes me if he wants me to stay with him."

"But don't you still love him? You faced the Volturi to save him. You must love him."

"Of course I love him. But I can live without him. I can live without romantic love. And if he doesn't agree to turn me himself, on my terms, I will live without him. I'll hate it, but at least I'll be knowing what I'm getting into this time."

Alice bit her lip and gazed over her shoulder. "So your mind is made up?"

Bella nearly laughed as she climbed into her truck. "You tell me, Alice." Then she started the engine and drove away.

Fuck you!


She spent the afternoon at La Push. Jacob was particularly understanding. "We can protect you without them, Bella."

She knew that and she knew they wanted to. She knew they were all strong beyond belief. How easily they'd dealt with Laurent. She wasn't stupid anymore. She wouldn't pretend like it was her fault if one of them got hurt. This time, all of them knew exactly what they were getting into. Strangely, it was better that way.

How bizarre. The strong creatures could handle one insane vampire. No, that made no sense. She giggled at her past idiocy and Jacob wrapped an arm about her shoulders. So, between La Push and the Cullens still protecting Forks, she and Charlie would be fine.

A silver Volvo followed her home that night from the reservation. She rolled her eyes.

Fuck off, Edward.


Edward finally managed to corner her in the parking lot a few days later. He didn't really look any different. After all, it wasn't like he could lose sleep and the effects of not eating were only noticeable in the color of his eyes…which were definitely amber. The only thing left was that perhaps his general air was a little more Byronic than normal. The selfish, brooding bastard. She crossed her arms and decided to let him talk. While she didn't really think one week was a fair exchange for the months she'd suffered, perhaps there were other ways he could make it up.

"Are you going to pretend I'm not here again?" he asked quietly.

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm looking at you, aren't I?"

He swallowed- what, she didn't know- and glanced around before gazing at her again. "I left for your own good-"

She put a hand up and turned away. "Wrong answer. Silent treatment starts again in five seconds. Four. Three. Two. One-"

"Bella, I love you! I've never felt this way about anyone before and last fall Jasper was ready to tear your throat out- if something like that happened I would lose you and my family. I couldn't risk that happening!"

"That's a little more rational, but not good enough to warrant forgiveness. Nice touch, pulling your family into it. Was that supposed to make me feel guilty?"

"Damn it, Bella-"

"Damn you, Edward!" she finally hissed. "I risk the exact same things every day that I'm with you, but you don't see me running away from what we have! Besides, there is a very simple solution to all this!"

His eyes grew wide. "No-"

"I know you already picked Alice's brains. You know what I'm thinking and Alice knows that it's my final decision. So make your choice, Edward. You can have me, this time on my terms, and it will be wonderful…or you can say good bye for good and really go throw yourself into a pit of Volturi."

He looked so hurt that she almost caved. Almost. "What, too much for you to handle? I thought that's what this past year has been about, teaching me to live without you. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I want you," he breathed.

"And I want you. But I won't be jerked around anymore. I'm sick of the games you keep playing. It's shit or get off the pot," she fumed at him. He stared at her, hurt and confused. She stared back and forced herself to calm down.

Putting her earbuds back in, she gave him a small smile. "Let me know when you want to have another one of these chats, Edward. And remember, for once, that all actions have consequences. You may once have been able to kiss me and get me to do your every bidding, but that's another side effect of you leaving. I won't ever want to kiss another man, but you no longer make me go weak in the knees. You might say I developed an antibody. Now you're the one that changed everything. I hope you enjoy it."

She pulled a sour face, climbed into her truck and was gone again. Edward didn't stare after her this time and she felt a tug of loneliness at her heart.

She headed back to La Push.

Damn you to hell.


Alice came to her house for 'dinner' two nights later. Bella sat with her upstairs while they listened to music. Alice didn't ask many questions, but she did say a few things.

"He really misses you."

"That's nice."

"He's as bad as he was before he met you. He thinks you want to break up."

Bella sighed. "I do not want to break up. For once, I want him to do things my way. You have no idea how frustrating it is to be a human girl with a vampire boy. Boys already get to do everything better than girls based on predisposed societal and cultural tradition. Imagine being a girl in this world who's always been independent and fought against stereotypes only to fall in love with a boy who really does do everything better!"

Alice looked at her strangely. "I don't think any of us ever looked at it that way."

Bella nodded. "Exactly! Add on top of that the fact that when I'd finally gotten comfortable with it, just when I was accepting things the way they are, he left me! Can you imagine how I felt? How I still feel? It was like learning to accept the impossible, only to finally be told that, too bad, you aren't good enough after all, just like you thought all along. It nearly killed me when he left, Alice," she finished in a whisper.

"I think I understand…but Bella, why push him away now that you've got him back?"

"He has to learn to look at things from my point of view. He may be the all powerful being in this relationship, but that doesn't mean my feelings and opinions aren't equal to his. I deserve his respect as much as he has mine."

Alice nodded thoughtfully. "I see. So you want him to acknowledge he was wrong, apologize, agree never to do that again and agree to turn you when and where you want?"

"With some limitations, yes," Bella agreed.

"Like the middle of Prom would not be a good place for that event."

Bella laughed and nodded. "Exactly."

"I'll make sure he knows," Alice murmured, reaching out a hand to her friend. "I can see he really hurt you and you're right, you deserve to be treated like an equal. I don't think he realizes what he's been doing this whole time, brooding the way he has been."

"Of that much, I'm certain," Bella added, rolling her eyes. "Now, tell me more about what you all were doing while you were gone."

And stop bringing up Edward. My life no longer revolves around him. Gods, did I really only ever talk about him before? How one dimensional.


After two more weeks of similar behavior, Edward finally apologized to Bella properly. He even apologized to Charlie and bought both of them bouquets- well, Charlie's consisted of fishing poles; but Bella's arrived in a large basket complete with a teddy bear and bows and lots of red roses. Then he agreed to her terms.

He even backed off about the werewolves when Bella told him to fuck off about it, please. After all, where was he when she needed to be put back together? He had no right to question the friendships she'd made while he was gone. His brooding slacked off after a while, too and he became a generally more agreeable man to be around after he pulled his head out of his ass. It had finally occurred to him, you see, that Bella was not just the love of his life: she was a person, too.

And they eventually lived happily ever after because Bella had realized that, vampire or not, love of her life or not, no boy was worth losing her identity or life over; and Edward had figured out that a happy girlfriend is better than an unhappy one. So he turned her and they both got what they wanted: each other as whole, happy, self-fulfilled beings.

All along she'd wanted to be undead, not plain old dead. Wouldn't you know? Turns out there is a big difference between the two.

This time, when she told him to fuck off, they got to do it together.