Title: Fate

Rating: Strong R to NC17

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters in affiliation. I am not making any money from the writing of this story. This fic is rated Strong R to NC17 due to graphic sexual situations and strong language. Please read at your own discretion. This story also contains SPOILERS for BtVS Season 5-7 (and possibly in later chapters - Angel The Series (AtS) Season 5.)

Summary: After Buffy's untimely death Spike can't deal and leaves Sunnydale behind. He goes to NYC and meets a girl named Krysta. This is their story.

Author's Note (A/N:) Enjoy and please review!


"You told Buffy you would protect me..." Dawn's voice came out in somewhat of a whimper as she watched Spike gather the few possessions he owned into a small travel bag. "..'Till the end of the world..." He muttered, under his breath trying not to make eye contact with his company. "Last I checked... world not ending!" She yelled, grabbing Spike by the shoulder so he would finally face her. The pain on his face was almost too much to bear and Dawn diverted her eyes quickly. "Spike, I don't want you to go..."

"All's right in the world now, little bit - no more nasties coming after you, plus I don't think big sis really wanted me sticking around playing nanny after..." Spike swallowed the lump in his throat, his eyes closing tightly for a moment. After she died. "I'm sorry, Dawn but I can't..."

Defeated, Dawn simply nodded her head and slumped down into the chair behind her. Perhaps it wasn't fair to ask Spike to stay after Buffy's death. There was nothing keeping him here after all - just a shallow promise he made to a slayer. Not the best way to live out your infinite existence. "I'll never be more than a phone call away, bit." Spike assured suddenly, causing Dawn to look up as he handing her a small folded piece of paper. She nodded and forced a smile. "Okay."

Two weeks later.

New York City.

Thick gray smoke swirled through the dark club, enveloping its occupants in its tobacco goodness. Luckily for Spike, fresh air wasn't high on his list of priorities so this place suited him just fine. He had been sitting at the bar for nearly two hours, snacking on the complimentary peanuts - watching recaps of the Yankee game, and drinking only what burned going down. No one bothered him here - no young delicious blonds asking for a dance, even the bar tender just nodded towards him every so often and refilled his shot glass without a word. New Yorker's were smart - they knew when danger lurked in the shadows. Unlike those bloody sods in Sunnydale - wouldn't know a murderous fiend if one drained them to their bone and ash. Spike sighed at the thought, pulling a cigarette from the open pack on the bar and placing it to his lips. Sunnydale was just a distant memory now.

Dawn hadn't called him so that must be a good sign - or a really bad one - perhaps Faith would reform - get out of jail and be the champion of the people at the hell mouth. Or, perhaps she'd die and someone else would get a shot. What did it matter to him? He hoped to never lay an eye on another Slayer ever again. Another sign escaped him as he inhaled a deep breath of smoke.

"Can I bum one?"

Spike stopped mid-drag and narrowed his eyes, turning his head ever so slightly to the left. A young girl - mid-twenties if he was guessing - stood beside him with a bright, innocent smile spread across gloss covered lips. "Sod off." The smiles continued but never fully reach the dark blue of her eyes. "Thanks." She assured, removing a cigarette from his pack. The vampire growled low in his throat - looking at his company in disbelief as she placed the smoke between her lips and took the unoffered seat to his left.

"My name's Kryst--."

"Don't remember askin' your name, love - now run off with your little sods and leave me be." With that said Spike turned his attention back to the television. "Well, what's your name then?" He couldn't help but laugh - did this girl really have a death wish? "Bloody hell, bit! What do you want from me?" That brilliant smile returned as she pointed to his smokes. "Well, mostly a smoke - but a name and some meaningless conversation would be nice too."

As if on cue the bartender sat two full shots on the bar in front of them. Spike watched in awe as the girl downed one after the other - ordering two more just as quickly. "I'm Krysta." She assured, sliding one of the shot glasses over to him. "Spike." He answered.

"Spike? Wow. Of course you couldn't be a Jeff or Dave - right? I mean look at you."

Krysta studied her company for a long moment, soaking in the whole Billy Idol look. He was definitely easy on the eyes. Spike smirked, bringing the offered shot to his dry lips. He threw back his head with Krysta and swallowed down the dark liquid in one hard gulp. When he sat his glass down there were four more shots waiting for them.

At least this bird was good for something.

Two nights later.

"About this tall..." Spike measured his hand to his shoulder, "Dark hair - drink twenty sailors under the table." The bartender looked at the vampire bewildered, not that he paid much attention to the people that came into this club but the girl he described didn't ring any bells. "Ain't seen her." He repeated, turning away as Spike sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. Maybe he had finally lost it - really lost his mind and imagined the girl. Wouldn't have been the strangest thing to happen to him by far. Drusilla had made up new friends several times a day.

"Miss me?"

Spike found himself staring into two dark pools of blue that sparkled with the clubs lights. "Might have." He assured between his teeth, trying to control his temper as the girl sat across from him in the booth. It had been almost two weeks since he'd met Krysta and she'd been MIA since that night. They smiled faintly at one another for a moment before Spike reach across the table and grabbed Krysta by the shoulders in one quick movement - pulling her half way across the table. The girl cried out in surprise. "You owe me fifty dollars." He growled, reminding her that she bailed on him - leaving behind a large bill for their consumed liquor. After one intense moment he let go of her - watching as she dug two fingers into tight jeans and removed a wad of money - shoving it into his palm.

"Sorry, geez. Abusive much?"

Spike glared at the money in his hand as if it were going to sprout a head.

"You have no idea."

A slow smile crept onto Krysta's lips. "Good thing I like it rough." She assured in a soft, sensual voice. Spike made her no comment. "Oh, come on Spike! You're too sexy to be all stuffy and British..." That got a rise out of him.

"You don't know anything about me."

"Well, not for lack of trying! How long have you been in The Big Apple?"

"Born and raised, love."

Krysta rolled her eyes, sinking back down into her seat. "Right. As if I couldn't spot a Cali boy a mile away. You're all the same - bleached blond hair, innocent blue eyes..." Their eyes met and she had to admit there was nothing innocent about his paler hues. "..and you all look as if someone, that perfect honey blond with her matching blue eyes, ripped the still beating heart from your chest."

Spike stared across the table, not sure how to answer her statement. He just couldn't find the words. "Soo.." Krysta stood up again, leaning down in front of Spike on the table. She slid her arms out, running her fingers down his biceps and to his forearms - stopping at his wrist in a painfully slow motion. "..you run to the other side of the world trying to get her taste out of your mouth.." Spike swallowed hard, taking in Krysta's scent of vanilla and Jack Daniels. It was invigorating. His eyes closed slightly as she pushed herself closer to him, her fingers gripping his wrists gently as her bottom lip grazed his ear lobe. "..oh, and I also know you're a vampire."

Spike opened his eyes quickly, shoving Krysta back enough to look into her eyes. There was a glint of humor there as her perfect lips spread into a grin and Spike's gaze followed hers to his wrists. "No pulse." She assured, then followed with, "..plus you're not the first I've met. Plenty of walking dead around here nowadays." Spike was at a complete loss. This girl - he barely knew, had unlocked secrets about him that had taken decades to hide. He studied her for another long minute. "Her eyes were green."

"What?"

Beautiful, witty - amazing but a little ADHD.

"The perfect honey blond... had green eyes."

Krysta's face lit up with realization. "Damn I'm good." She winked. "..and the whole vamp thing? Turns out I have a creepy uncle who is a Watcher and apparently I'm some kind of prodigy of a long line of girls who are supposed to kill your kind.. blah blah, I don't know - I skipped out on the lecture and moved to New York when I was legal."

Spike's surprised, almost dumbfounded look returned. "You.. you're a potential slayer?" Of course she was. That explained why out of all the people who tried to make conversation with him in the past few weeks Krysta was the only one he'd thought twice about. It was always The Slayer - as if it were programmed into his brain to be attracted to and hunt down anything related. He sighed, ".. what contest in hell did bloody well win?"

"It's okay though.. like I said, I skipped out on the chance to be super woman or whatever - who am I to judge who gets to live or die? Plus - vampires? How cool is that?"

"Honestly, love - not all vampires are as... domesticated as I may seem to appear. You really should watch your back.."

Krysta laughed quietly at the thought. "I'm more worried about my front," she winked, "..and I don't think you're domesticated at all, Spike. A better word would be..." she paused, "..evolved? I like that one much better."

Evolved. It did have a much better ring to it then a pathetic, incompetent domesticated vampire with a chip imbedded into his skull so even if he did want to massacre everyone within his reach - he couldn't. Evolved. This word caused a smile to finally spread across his face. "I like that one better to, love."

"There is one thing that doesn't add up though," Their eyes met. "..and no offense because you are - damn - sexy.. but, you're looking a little weak in the vampire department. "If I were guessing I'd say you hadn't," Quote un-quote. "..eaten anything in over a week?" Spike dropped her gaze. She was good. "Don't know this area very well, love and.. there are complications.."

"Huh."

"Huh?"

Krysta smiled, standing up from the booth. "Do you trust me?" Spike studied her for a moment, definitely intrigued. "No." This caused another laugh to escape her. "Well, how about - are you going to kill me?" He considered. "No."

"Then come on."

"Krysta! Mia bella ragazza! I haven't seen you in weeks! Where you been hiding?"

Spike looked up as the little bell over the door dinged, letting its occupants know they had visitors. She had taken him to Big Apple Meat Market, Inc., a well known butcher in New York City. "Layin' low, Roscoe. You know how it is." Krysta walked to the counter, smiling at the large, burly man on the other side. Roscoe eyed Spike suspiciously and turned to Krysta.

"You're not still into that black magic stuff are you, ragazza?"

Krysta just smiled. "Don't give me a hard time, Ross - I need six pints of your finest." Roscoe stared at her for a long moment before sighing and turning to walk into the back of the small building. "Black magic, huh?" Spike muttered, keeping his eyes on Roscoe's back. He definitely didn't trust that guy. Krysta just shrugged - her smile never fading as the large man returned carrying two brown bags and handing them over. "Sweet. Thanks Ross. How much do I owe you?" Roscoe shook his head, wiping his hands on his apron. "You know your money's no good here, bella." With that said he turned to Spike in all seriousness.

"The vampire pays twenty dollars."

Two months later.

Spike pressed his back to the crumbling brick wall, searching his duster for a cigarette - allowing the darkness to swallow him. The click of the Zippo echoed through the alley - illuminating his face with the soft glow of the flame. Keen senses detected the girl long before she entered the alley - dressed in black from head to toe - his kinda girl. Krysta moved easily through the darkness as if she belonged with the vampires and the monsters after dark. She herself the predator and Spike her prey. Closing his lighter Spike smirked at the thought.

"'Bout bloody well time you showed face."

Krysta batted those long black lashes and plucked the newly lit smoke from his lips - placing it to her own pouty mouth. She took a long, needed drawl before answering him. "I was a little tied up." She blew the smoke in his general direction and forced a grin. Spike couldn't help himself - when it came to Krysta she was his devil in disguise. He gave her a once over - admiring the black boots all the way to the black halter top. "Eat your heart out, vamp boy. Come on." She finished his cigarette and flicked it to the ground - moving past him to the club.

Spike sat his empty beer bottle down on the table and took in a deep, unneeded breath. Why was he sitting in this bar with all of his attention on one girl who didn't seem to think twice about him on good days. He wasn't a hundred percent on their relationship - or anything for that matter but he knew that he cared about Krysta - they met almost every night and partied and laughed - she made things simpler for him. He didn't think about thingsnearly as much when she was around. Buffy had given her life so that he and every other unworthy sod in the world could live on and here he was, partying every waking second while she rot. He shook the thought from his head - scanning the smoke filled room for his drug of choice. Krysta. At least he didn't think about Buffy when Krysta was around. He didn't think about Sunnydale or about conning anyone into anything. It was just him and Krysta and Roscoe's endless supply of pig's blood.

Krysta lifted her hand in a small wave - warming the room with her smile. She pointed to the pool tables in the back of the building and made her way towards them as he stood.

"Why are you sitting over there being all moody?"

"Time for reflection, love." He assured with a grin as she handed him a pool stick. "Didn't think you had one of those?" She asked, matching his smile with her own. "When are you going to give up on trying to beat me at billiards? I've been playing since before it was called billa--." Spike watched Krysta take her shot - four striped balls going into their respected cubby holes. "Bloody hell."

She looked up at him slowly - her lips pulling into a thin smile. "What were you saying?" A growl escaped the vampire. After another few great shots from the both of them Krysta placed her pool stick down and took Spike by the hand. "This is our song.." She assured, pulling him onto the dance floor as 'Living Dead Girl' by Rob Zombie began playing through the club.

Who is this irresistible creature,

Who has an insasiable love for the dead?

"Living dead girl.." Krysta sang quietly, grinning as Spike put his hands on her swaying hips - pulling her closer to his own body. She was intoxicating sometimes - the way she moved, the way she smelled - it was as if her blood was singing to him - beckoning him with every seductive trace of her body. "Crawl on me, sink into me.. die for me.." He whispered, her ear very close to his mouth suddenly. "You could sink into me." Spike pulled away from her - searching her eyes with his own. He did want to sink his teeth into the softest part of her neck - tasting the real Krysta Meadows. His gaze fell onto her crimson glossed lips. "I want to.." He whispered with her, his lips grazing hers for a split second. It was almost painful being this close to her sometimes - his love for Buffy, the heartache that haunted him every day over her death - he couldn't bring himself to love Krysta when Buffy's demise was so fresh in his brain. Before he realized what was happening Krysta had leaned into him - standing on tip toes to place her lips against his own in one soft movement. She tasted like heaven - like raspberries and vanilla with a trace of whiskey - this caused a soft moan to escape Spike's throat as the kiss deepened. Time seemed to stand still as they kissed - touching, groping each other in the darkness of the club. When Krysta finally gasped in need of air she was pressed roughly against a wall, her eyes wild with desire. "Spike.. I.." She took in a deep breath, surprised to see that there was no desire in her company's eyes - only something that looked like remorse. "Spike?"

He stared at her for a long moment before taking a few steps back. "I.. can't..." She moved towards him. "But, I thought..." He backed away further. "Krysta.. I'm sorry.." Spike shook his head - finally meeting her eyes with his own. The look on her face was worse than any torture Glory had once caused him. He had never seen her frown before. "Sorry.." She whispered, looking down at her boots. After a long, brutal moment she looked up - that perfect smile plastered back on her lips. "So.. I should probably call it a night.. early morning and all.." Spike looked at his watch. "It's eight thirty?" They had never left the club before 2am. "Tired.." She assured, leaning forward to place another innocent kiss on his lips before she turned on her heals and made her way through the crowd of people - never looking back.

Four nights later.

Spike stepped into the bar quietly, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his infamous duster. Krysta hadn't been around much lately - not after they had kissed and he had shot her down as if she had the plague. Pathetic wasn't a strong enough word for what Spike regarded of himself. He was in love with a dead Slayerwho had never loved him nor showed him an ounce of anything but pity in the years they had known one another. He had no ties to Buffy but unfortunately every time he closed his eyes he saw her beautiful face smiling at him. Doomed, another good word used when describing a certain blond vampire. There was a beautiful girl - a clean slate - who knew nothing of his past in Sunnydale and who cared about him. Spike sighed, scanning the room slowly - as he always did since Krysta became MIA after their unfortunate encounter earlier in the week.

To his surprise he caught a faint trace of her scent in the air and turned towards the darker section of the bar. Krysta sat, in all her glory, at one of the single tables - laughing and chatting eagerly with a tall, dark haired guy. He watched with narrowed eyes as she threw her head back in a laugh and touched her company's knee, sliding her hand more towards his thigh. They looked like old marries, deeply in love. "Bloody trollop.." Spike growled, moving towards Krysta without much thought. His girl shagging it up with some sodden' ponce? Not on his watch. He made the few swift steps towards them and stopped just behind the guy - glaring at Krysta from the shadows. "Can we talk?" It was more of a demand.

"Spike! Hey, this is Gr.."

"I don't give a fuck what his name is, Krysta." He snapped, reaching over to take her by the arm - jerking her to her feet and pulling her into his chest. Greg, dark haired boy, stood to his feet and turned to face Spike quickly. "Hey man, what's your problem?" He demanded, looking at Krysta. "Fuck you." Spike's word's dripped with venom - causing several of the people around them to back away or leave the bar all together. "Spike?! What the hell?" Krysta yelled, trying to jerk her arm away from him. Who did he think he was? Spike tightened his grip and pulled her away from Greg."Fuck you, asshole! Where do you get off--." Greg tried to shove Spike back in a failed attempt - only pushing him backwards in the process. That's all it seemed to take to break Spike's control - he let go of Krysta's arm and punched Greg in the face - sending him flying backwards into one of the unoccupied tables. Splintering the wood easily. "Shit! Spike?! What the hell! Are you crazy?" Krysta demanded, putting her hands on his chest as he tried to push past her towards Greg. The hand he was using to drag her away cave man style was now pressed tightly to his temple - a look of pure pain on his features as the surge of the chip sparked in his brain. "I just wanted to talk to you! Who the fuck does HE think HE is acting like I can't talk to you!" Spike continued to yell obstinacies in Greg's general direction - causing several of the bouncers to move in on their little gathering. "Spike! Please.. just come outside with me.. come on.." Her hand slipped into his free one which seemed to calm him somewhat as they moved through the bar and to the exit.

Once they were outside Spike took in a deep, useless breath - glaring at his company.

"Krysta! What the fuck? I'm not good enough to talk to now because I won't fuck you!?"

Krysta stared at Spike in shock - four days ago she had considered him a very close friend, tonight - no so much. "Why are you doing this?" She asked, trying to keep the emotion from her words. The rims of her eyes were pooling up with tears as she spoke. "I thought that we had something, Spike - a real connection with each other.." Her voice trailed as she wiped away the few tears that fell down her cheek. The unexplainable rage inside Spike was quickly fading at the sight of her tears. He had no right to be jealous of whom she talked to - she wasn't his to keep. Spike closed his eyes in despair. "I'm sorry.." His voice barely a whisper. "I don't want to hurt you.."

Krysta lifted her hand to stop him. She didn't want to hear the whole 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' speech - not from Spike. She thought they had something special - something untouched by so many people in the world but apparently he would never be able to move on from whatever train wreck he had left in California. A small, pain filled sigh escaped her as their eyes met. It really was a shame because he was soo sexy. "It was a mistake, okay? Apparently I let my imagination get the best of me - I thought that you were into me, too but I was wrong and I'm sorry.. we can just go back to being.." She thought for a moment. "..whatever we were before we kissed - come on, you can buy me a drink."

Spike stared at Krysta in disbelief as she walked down the alley and towards the street. "We're going to have to find another bar, though - I don't think you should go back in there." Spike couldn't seem to find his footing. Krysta was just as messed up as he was. Burying all those feelings deep inside for no one to find was really going to catch up with them one day.

One week later.

Krysta walked up the steps to her mediocre apartment slowly, taking in the sights around her as she fumbled for her keys. She hadn't seen Spike in a while - trying to keep to herself as much as possible and forget him. He wasn't going to change. Whatever had happened before he made it to the east coast had really fucked him up and she didn't know if she had the power to break his walls down. Honey blond green eyed girl had destroyed the part of him that was capable of loving someone. Someone other than her, at least. A sad sigh escaped her throat, causing her to cough and choke back the sob that tried to follow.

Spike slipped into the alley behind the small apartment complex quietly - pressing his back against the wall as Krysta made her way up the noisy stairs. He watched as she shifted her bag form one arm to the other, fumbling with the few keys she owned. It was obvious there was something on her mind and he could almost guess what. It was funny how things seemed to fall to complete shit when people's feelings got involved with one another. They had had something amazing - up to the moments before they kissed. It always seemed to work out that way.

He cared for Krysta. She was more a friend to him than anyone had been in a very long time. It was too painful to think about losing her too - he had to fix things between them. The click of his Zippo lighter echoed through the alley - causing Krysta to stop in her search of keys and turn her head to the side - spotting Spike as the soft flame illuminated his gorgeous face. Great, she thought, going back to the task at hand. In three quick movements he had leapt up the stairs and was standing at her back, handing the lit cigarette to her as a peace offering.

Krysta stared at him for a long moment then moved her attention to the cigarette. She shouldn't take it - there could be no peace between them, not with the way she felt about him and the painfully obvious way he felt about her. Defeated, she took the smoke and placed it to her lips. "Thanks." Was all she offered in return finally finding the key to open her door. She nodded to the entrance and stepped inside, shedding her coat and purse in one of the lounge chairs inside. After a moment passed Krysta turned to see Spike standing quietly at the threshold, holding his hand up in a small wave. "Vampire, love. Remember?"

"Huh.. thought that was just in the movies.. come in?"

Spike stepped into the small room and closed the door behind him. It wasn't much of an apartment - more of efficiency really but cozy to say the least. The very least. They were standing in a make shift living room/bedroom area with two chairs and a small 13' TV on a sad looking table, further into the room was a full sized bed, side table - stove fridge and microwave. It looked more like a hotel room. "Welcome to my mansion - the court yard it out back to the left and dinner is served promptly at seven by the servants.." She assured, turning the TV on only to have static fill the room with an eerie light. "Do I have to give you permission to sit down, too?" Spike mocked her with a sarcastic laugh and looked over the uncomfortable furniture before shedding his coat and taking a seat on one of the chairs.

"So, is there something specific you want to say or did you just come here to snub my apartment?" Krysta asked in a half joking matter. Spike just continued to search his surroundings. At least she wasn't living in a ditch like he had assured himself a few weeks ago. If he could say anything nice about the place it was clean. He had to give her that. "Sorry, bit - I'm living in a tomb at the cemetery. This place is a Four Season's to me.." He assured with a forced smile. "I just wanted to see you. I always want to see you."

Krysta rolled her eyes at the thought. "Right." She muttered, mostly to herself. "You really are the best thing that's happened to me in a long time, love. I know it doesn't seem like that but it's the truth." Their eyes met. "You're breakin' my heart, Spike. Talk about something else - tell me about Cali.. lots of sun there I bet - at least here you can get out earlier in the evening, right? I mean it's no Forks but much less sun then Cali."

Small talk? Is that was they were reduced to.

"Tell me about the infamous Krysta Meadows."

She stared at him as if he'd sprout another head. "Honestly? Where do I start?" Spike shrugged his shoulders and leaned back into the chair, making himself comfortable. "The beginning would suffice.."

"Well, I told you about my crazy uncle right? That's some of my first memories - horror stories as a young child, wonderful for bedtime. He told me about vampires and the ones chosen to protect the world.. slayers I think they are called? I'm sure you know about them." Spike's expression stayed smooth - just giving her a slight nod as she continued. "My mom was a single parent - she wasn't around that much, too busy partying to be a mom - I lived with my uncle and his wife.. when I was thirteen he told me that I had the blood of the slayers line in me and that I had the potential to become a slayer one day... when one dies another is raised.. but I really didn't want that kind of responsibility, you know? Like I said before - who am I to judge.."

Spike stared at Krysta thoughtfully. She definitely didn't fit the description of a Slayer. Sure she was hot, tiny like Buffy but with darker hair and lighter eyes. She was witty and kind but she didn't seem to have what it takes to be a killer. It was probably for the best that she didn't pursue that part of her life's calling. He didn't want to see anything happen to her.

"My uncle still calls me from time to time to check in I guess - lecture me on how I should be with him at 'The Watcher's Council', it's in England I think, and how I should be training incase I'm next.. it's very disturbing sometimes.."

Spike couldn't help by agree.

"Being a Slayer is disturbing at times."

"I take it you've met one before?"

A grin spread across his face. "Killed two in my day, love." She didn't seem to like that. "That was before my.." Spike thought for a moment. "..evolved state of being, of course."

"Of course." She repeated, still not liking the idea of a vampire killing a slayer. No matter how hard she tried to deny that part of her life - somewhere, buried deep within - surrounded by all the other things she didn't want to deal with in her life, she was a potential and she didn't want to be killed by a vampire. "..or anything else for that matter.." She muttered to herself, meeting Spike's gaze.

"So what about you? All these months we've known each other and you've never told me your story.."

"Not much of a story, love. You pretty much hit the nail on the head with the whole honey blond thing.." He assured quietly, really not wanting to get into these types of conversations with Krysta. No good could come from bringing up those painful memories. "What about before that? Surely there was a life before honey blond? I'd hope.." This caught Spike off guard. Had there been a life before Buffy? Not much of one but when he thought back hard enough there had been. "The beginning would suffice.." Krysta assured with a grin, repeating his previous statement to her. So Spike began his story and to his surprise with Krysta he didn't have to make it sound more glamorous then it really was - he told her the truth about Dru and Angel, his mother - Cecily. His vampire upbringing poured from his memories like an open book and she was a willing reader.

Krysta opened her eyes slowly - feeling the warmth of the sun on her face. It had to be mid-afternoon by now but she felt very well rested. She took in a deep breath; leather and men's cologne. "Spike?" She sat up quickly in her bed and looked around - surprised to see him sitting in one of her lounge chairs, dozing. "Right here, lit bit.." He groaned, turning over on one side. Krysta jumped from her bed and went to the small window in her apartment - pulling the blinds quickly. "Spike! Are you okay? God - you could have been killed.." The vampire opened his eyes and looked at her, smiling at what he saw. She was damn near adorable when she woke up. "Powerful vampire and all but a simple sunburn or toothpick would be your ending.." Krysta continued, causing his eyes to narrow. "It would bloody well take more than that."

It seemed their non-existent relationship was back on track. Krysta's laugh echoed through the empty alleyways as she and Spike stumbled down the street towards her apartment. Five A.M did neither of them justice - the night was still young and Spike wasn't getting any older. He laughed with her - both obviously drunk beyond words. Krysta leaned into Spike's embrace as he pulled her up the stairs to her apartment, almost having to carry her as she unlocked the door and he pushed it open with his foot.

They stared at each other for a long time, searching one another's faces - trying desperately to hold back the feelings they were having. They were lost in each other.

"Krysta.." Spike's voice was thick with emotion, his fingers idly moving down her sides and to her hips. There was no mistaking the desire mixed with confusion and pain on his face this time. "You are so..." His tongue brushed against his own lips at the thought. "..beautiful.."

"Don't do this, Spike.. you're drunk..." Her words were barely a whisper as he leaned down and placed his lips gently against her own. "I want to.." He assured, tasting her again. Their innocent kisses turned into something more as Spike moved her backwards into her apartment - running his hands up her body, into her hair. "God, Krysta.." He looked into her unsure eyes, taken back at the hurt he saw there. "What is it?"

She was definitely drunk - her mind and hormones swimming when he was kissing her, looking at her as if she were the only thing in the world that mattered to him but she knew as soon as he sobered up enough to think straight honey blond would be right back into his mind. "I can't.. you'll..." Krysta swallowed the lump in her throat, "..regret."

"No.. I.." He couldn't bring himself to tell her that he wouldn't regret anything with her because he didn't know if that were the truth or not. Realization set in with them both. "Goodnight, Spike.." She whispered, letting her eyes fall as she watched him back out of her apartment and closed the door in his face.

Bloody hell.

A crack of lightening lit up the small room - causing Krysta to jump in her skin. A deafening boom of thunder shook the windows - this storm was anything but moving on. She hated thunderstorms and having no power, as well as being alone in the dark but she couldn't find it in herself to call Spike. She really needed to learn how to let him go.

One more kiss could be the best thing,

One more lie could be the worst.

All these thoughts are never resting,

and you're not something I deserve.

In my head there's only you now,

This world falls on me.

In this world there's real and make believe,

This seems real to me.

You love me but you don't know who I am,

I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand.

You love my but you don't know who I am,

So let me go, just let me go.

"Krysta, love - open up!"

Spike banged his fist on the door - desperately trying to get out of the pouring rain. He stood underneath his duster - large rain drops soaking into the leather. "Come on, bit - please!" The door opened quickly as he leapt inside, looking at her from under the thick material. At least he wasn't soaking wet, only his curly blond hair and infamous black coat. "Spike? I wasn't expecting you in a thunderstorm.." Krysta muttered, secretly thankful he was there. Another crack of lightening lit up the room and she yelped at the thunder that followed - idly moving closer to her company. "..glad you came, though.."

"I've been thinking..." Spike started, staring at Krysta in the dark. She could barely see her hand in front of her face but had no doubt that Spike could make out every detail of her. "I want to be with you.." He whispered between them, looking into her eyes. "All this pain I've caused you.. it's killing me inside and I don't want to.. hurt you anymore.."

Krysta nodded, closing the space between them. She didn't want to hurt anymore and she couldn't deny herself to Spike any longer. "Oh.. okay." She whispered as he leaned down and kissed her - much more passionately then he ever had before. In three quick movements she was on her back on the small bed and Spike was advancing on top of her. Krysta pushed herself back on the mattress and welcomed his weight on her, pulling him down onto her. The lightning flashed - illuminating their features for a brief moment.

"Are you sure?"

Krysta nodded, smiling up at him. "Please.." His mouth found hers again - deepening their kiss forcefully. Spike's hands moved up her body slowly, going into her shirt and feeling soft warm skin - running his palms against her breast. "Bloody hell, love... you're gorgeous.." He moaned against her throat, removing her shirt slowly as he stared down at the lacy black fabric of her bra, returning his lips to her collarbone. Krysta ran her fingers through his damp hair - causing their eyes to meet again. "You can taste.." She whispered, the corners of her mouth turning up to a seduced smile. Spike was taken back by the thought. "I don't.. don't know if I could stop, love.." He groaned in response. "I trust you.." Krysta assured quietly as his mouth found her skin just below the neck. She took in a deep nervous breath as she felt his fangs suddenly against the softest part of her throat - his experienced hands moving from her breasts to her sides and into her sweatpants - moving them down enough to gain access to her panties.

There was only a slight pause of nervousness before he removed them as well and dipped two fingers inside her - surprised to find her just as eager and ready as he was. Another perfect moan escaped her lips as her back arched and she felt him pressing further into her depths - his fangs grazing her neck before he let them sink in - just deep enough to get a taste of her blood in his mouth. The sounds she made were driving him insane - making him want her more than anything he had ever wanted.

Krysta watched Spike with lustful eyes as he removed his hand from her and brought it to his lips - getting an even better taste of her with a smirk on his beautiful face. Before she realized what was happening he was inside her - licking the small wound on her neck clean. It would be completely healed in a matter of moments. "You taste like raspberries.." He groaned against her neck, thrusting into her with perfect rhythm. "..there aren't words to describe you, pet.."

With a surprisingly fast move Krysta had Spike lying flat on his back - his fingers digging into her flesh as she moved against him with a slow but steady pace. Her hair cascaded around her face in perfect porn star fashion as she moved, holding onto his chest for support. "You feel soo good inside me, Spike.." The vampire closed his eyes at her words - taking in a deep, unneeded breath as her walls tightened around him - causing her to lean down and kiss him. Spike's hands were strong and skillful - rocking her back and forth on top of him. It was amazing. She sat up straight and rode him to her own perfect release - her body falling down onto his chest in complete satisfaction, resting her head in the crook of his neck as she tried desperately to catch her breath.

After a moment Spike slid his arm under Krysta's back and laid her back down on the bed - burring his face into her shoulder as he slammed into her depth over and over. "Harder, Spike.. please.." She pleaded against his thrusts - matching each one as he finally felt his own orgasm take over and his body collapsed on top of her own. This girl was different than anything he had ever experienced. Drusilla and Harmony had only desired the demon within but Krysta was there for the man she knew he could be. He kissed her temple gently as she curled into his embrace and closed her eyes. This one was special.

Krysta groaned as the world came rushing back to her - opening her eyes to see the blond vampire peacefully asleep in her bed. She sat up on her elbows and looked to her company - a little disturbed that he was completely still. Sleeping like the dead. Her head found her pillow again and she yawned - allowing sleep to take her over once again.

Spike's eyes opened with a start - hearing the buzz of his cell phone as if it were right beside him. He yawned and sat up in the bed, looking over to Krysta who was sleeping peacefully. It was almost dusk. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and made his way into the bathroom where his pants were - fishing the small compact cellular telephone out of one of the pockets. Only two people in the world had his number and one of them was asleep in the other room. He flipped open the phone and held it to his ear.

"Dawn?"

He could barely make out her words between the sobs - she sounded so confused. "Spike.. I know it's been a while but I... Buffy.." Another sob but to his keen vampire ears it sounded like a cry of happiness instead of pain. "Dawn? What's happened?" He demanded, looking up to the mirror that showed no reflection. "Something's happened Spike - there was a gang of demons and all the others were gone all night.. now Buffy she's.." Dawn choked on the words. "She's back, Spike.."

The cell phone fell from his hand and crashed onto the tile floor - busting into several tiny pieces. Spike held onto the counter for support - Dawn's words echoing over and over in his brain. "She's back."

Krysta was sitting up in her bed when Spike emerged from the bathroom - recently showered and fully clothed. The somber, regretful expression was plastered all over his face - causing Krysta's smile to fade. "Hi.." Was all she could think of to say. "I'm sorry, bit.." Spike assured, taking a seat beside her on the bed. His voice was full of grief. "You say that a lot, you know. It could be your theme song."

Spike turned to finally look at her - forcing his own smile. "I wish I would have met you in a different lifetime - under different circumstances.." Krysta could only nod. It would have been nice to have known Spike before honey blond got to him. "I heard your phone.. I guess honey blond wants to kiss and make up after all, huh?"

"It's not like that."

Another nod from his company.

"I wouldn't know where to start when it comes to explaining our.. relationship."

Spike bit his bottom lip slightly from the lie he had just told. Buffy and he had no relationship. He never had nor would mean anything to her and yet he was already thinking of the quickest way back to Sunnydale. Whatever had happened - however possible it was that she had came back to him.. to them all, he had to find out the details.

He had to be there for her weather she wanted him to be or not.

Krysta was beginning to feel like a bobble-head. "I understand." It wasn't fair but she did understand. Spike had to get some kind of closure from what had happened in the past and she wouldn't come between that. She was a firm believer in fate and if Spike and said blonde were meant to be together then that was just how it had to be.

Always the bride's maid...

"You should probably head out - long ride to the other side of the world.." Krysta muttered, mostly to herself. She didn't know if she could physically let Spike walk out of her life. She didn't know if she'd survive after he was gone. "I'm sorr.." Their eyes met and Spike let out a frustrated breath. He was a broken record. "I'll never forget you, Krysta. You mean so much to me, love." He assured quietly, placing a light kiss on her forehead. Krysta forced a smile - closing her eyes as two matching streaks of tears ran down her cheeks.

Then he was gone - just as quickly as he had showed up at her usual hangout - she was alone again and his words burned into her heart as another sob escaped her. You mean so much to me, love. Unfortunately, she didn't mean enough to him to stay.

I dream ahead to what I hope for,

I turn my back on loving you.

How can this love be a good thing -

When I know what I'm going through.

And no matter how hard I try..

I can't escape these things inside..

Sunnydale, Calif.

The house hadn't changed - it looked warm and inviting - apple pies and Christmas mornings all around. Spike flicked his cigarette towards the street and moved across the lawn. There had definitely been some big bads in town recently - a gang of demon bikers who had left his precious Sunnydale in near ruins and he had missed all the fun.

Spike took in a deep, nervous breath as he knocked on the Summer's front door - waiting as patiently as a hundred year old vampire could as he listened to Dawn bounce down the staircase and jerk open the door to greet him. "Spike! You came!"

As if anything in hell or earth could have kept him away.

"Where.." He couldn't seem to get the words out as his eyes moved past Dawn and to the top of the staircase. Buffy Summers in all her glory (no pun intended) was staring down at him with a bewildered or confused look on her beautiful face. "Dawn.. what did you do...?"

"What? Me? Nothing."

Spike finally let his eyes fall from Buffy's face to her bloody knuckles. "Her hands.." He whispered, mostly to himself. The pain she must be in and all he could think about was his heart feeling as if it were being ripped out again. Buffy looked away, putting her hands behind her back uncomfortably. "Um, I was gonna fix 'em. I don't know how they got like that." Dawn assured innocently - turning to Buffy again.

"..clawed her way out of a coffin', that's how. Isn't that right?"

"Yeah, that's.. what I had to do.."

Spike gave her a sympathetic smile. "Done it myself, once.." He was staring at her again - completely amazed to have her standing in the same room with him. All those nights he knew that no God would listen to a soulless vampire's plea but somehow.. she was there. "Um, we'll take care of you. Come here.." He put out his arms and guided Buffy to the living room - telling Dawn to get some supplies to bandage her hands.

Once they were alone Buffy sat gently on the couch, trying to look at everything but the blond vampire in front of her. She'd never of thought he would be the one to help her. "How long was I gone?" She asked, causing him to jump in surprise at the sudden sound filling the room. "Hundred forty-seven days yesterday. Hundred forty-eight today." A smile formed at the corners of his mouth once their eyes met. "'Cept today doesn't count, does it?"

Krysta stepped off the plane quickly - putting as much distance between her and the vile contraption as possible. If people were meant to fly they'd have wings. Her experience with the ten and a half hour - non-stop flight from New York City to London England was one she hoped to soon forget because jet lag from hell was, well jet lag from hell.

There was a familiar looking older man holding a small sign that read: MEADOWS in black ink, standing at the end of the crowd of people and once she'd gotten close enough she recognized him as Uncle Albert, the estranged Watcher in her family.

"Ah, Krystalyn! It is so good to see you my dear!" Albert assured happily, wrapping his strong arms around her in a tight hug. She would never know how many nights he laid awake worried about her - wishing she had gotten the training she needed to become a Slayer if the chance showed himself. He wouldn't have been able to live with himself if something were to happen to her because she wasn't properly trained. "You don't know how happy I am that you've finally accepted your fate.."

Krysta could only force a pained smile. After Spike had left she'd reconsidered her wild lifestyle and had decided to take some responsibility. What if she did become the next Slayer and hundreds of people were killed daily because she didn't have what it took to be their hero? Plus, her lease was up on her apartment at the end of the month and what else did she really have going for her? Hopefully Uncle Albert would teach her how to stake a vamp or two and maybe she'd go after Spike and show him that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Spike's perfect smirk and crystal blue eyes filled her memory at the thought and she sighed, letting Uncle Albert usher her into the taxi cab and towards The Watchers Council.

TBC...

Author's Note: I took some dialog from BtVS Season 6 Episode 2 After Life at the end there - don't own any of that. I also don't own any reference to any 3 Doors Down lyrics that might be in the story. This story takes place at the end of BtVS Season 5 and finishes up at the beginning of Season 6 - that said, imagine that everything pretty much played out in Season 6 accordingly and I'll see you at the beginning of Season 7! Review plz plz plz! Thank yooooouuuuu!!