Wow. It's been a long fucking time since I've been on FFN, huh? Well, here's a mimato fic so let's see how this goes, hm? Ah yeah, you can also find me on:

- ao3: ImWithEnjolras

- Twitter: kougamira

Enjoy~

I dedicate this to all my new mimato friends on twitter. This isn't exactly the sad Yamato one, but that one's coming along. I hope this will suffice!


Ishida Yamato swears up and down that he is not in love with Tachikawa Mimi.

She's everything he thinks he doesn't need. Too earnest, too peppy, too confrontational, too honest. (He pretends those aren't also the things that he needs, he craves, he searches for.) She's not much to him but someone who cares and protects for his baby brother almost as vehemently as he does. (Yamato doesn't get to see how she draws herself up and transforms into a lioness for Takeru. She is fiercer, more ferocious, more terrifying, and more breathtaking when it comes to Takeru - to Yamato. She would die before she let anything get their hands on either of these brothers. But he doesn't see. Takeru wishes he did because he knows this would shake Yamato to the core, show him that a love as strong, as true, as sincere as Mimi's is real and not a figment of fairytale.)

(Takeru tells him later, but Yamato just scoffs.) (Yamato doesn't tell his little brother that he knows about Mimi's love, that he knows she's so fucking beautiful, that his heart is racing a mile a minute with something he doesn't want to acknowledge.) (Yet.)

But soon enough, he's actively searching for her. (When did it become 'is Mimi okay because if she is, that means Takeru's okay and I'm okay. I need them to both be okay.' and not 'is Takeru okay, ah there's Mimi too'?) He walks beside her, a hand automatically jutting out when she trips or when she stumbles. But it's not like she needs it when she throws a (stupidly beautiful) bright smile his way.

He pretends those smiles (that make his heart flutter, that shows him she's okay and she needs him to know she's okay) are reserved for him. (They are, but he never asks.)

His fists clench when he leaves the group. He's afraid - terrified as fuck, actually. He's lonely. And no amount of 'my parents are divorced' will ever prepare him for trekking through an unknown world absolutely and completely alone.

But then she says she'll stay with him and suddenly he's okay. His heartbeat slows down, his teeth stop grinding, and his fists relax.

He walks with her, in silence, afraid to break their tentative peace - afraid to say something stupid like...like…

Mimi, is it alright to love you?

They're just kids. Kids. Kids don't know love. Not adult love, right? Right?

But something in him says they can - kids can, he can...he knows it. This is the kind of love that lasts longer than information, than marriage, than time. He knows it. He knows it in his core. And it leaves him breathless.

Breathless like how he feels with Tachikawa Mimi.

He cries silently the first night. Tears he didn't know he could cry with. Tears that had been too long held back. He doesn't want to bother anyone. (There's only Mimi. But he still thinks he needs to be strong and unmoved by emotions and-)

She crawls up to him, pulling off her gloves and holds his face in her palms. She doesn't brush away his tears.

He never tells anyone of how she tells him it's okay to cry, of how she made him stronger and braver than any speech Taichi gives or any reassurance Sora provides, of how he fell even harder for Tachikawa Mimi.

It tears him apart when they return to the group. Back to their roles. Back to their non-interacting roles. No one knows of how she stood by him and helped him build himself stronger. No one knows of how she held his hand or lay beside him or made him feel so warm. Of their talks. Of their battles together.

Or how he kissed her and she fucking shone.

But they pretend. They pretend they didn't talk. That they didn't fight side-by-side. That they didn't fall in love.

They're kids, everyone will reason. We're kids, we don't know what love is. We don't know what adult love is and we don't know forever.

But he does. He knows them both. He knows they both exist with Tachikawa Mimi.

They're kids still when they return to Odaiba. Kids by age, adults by the terrors, the horrors, the survival they had to endure.

The biggest fight of their lives follow them to their peaceful homes. And Yamato is afraid, but he can't let them know. He's afraid for his friends, his baby brother, his Mi-

He nearly bursts out laughing when he sees her leading a fucking army in her pink pajamas. (But oh god he's so happy, she's safe, she's fine, and she's kicking some serious ass, get your head in the game, Ishida!)

When they win and the dust finally settles, Yamato wants to do nothing else but scoop Mimi into his arms and let her know how fucking elated he is she's safe.

But he doesn't get the chance because everyone else comes and they have to play strangers. Again.

Nothing hurts more than letting her go to America. And he says 'letting her go' instead of 'watching her go' because he loves her. He lets her go because it's safer for her that way and he'll be damned if he doesn't at least keep her safe.

But they're kids and kids don't know what adult love is like.

They call each other. It's difficult to carry a friendship over an ocean...and a country. All those timezones, and missed calls, and late calls, and moments spent waiting. (Wondering, hoping, elated once there's an answer.) It's difficult, but it's easier. Easier than pretending to be strangers when they were right in front of each other.

Easier this, than to pretend he didn't know her, let alone love her.

There are days he's angry. He's moody, he's pissed. He's a teenager, what else is there to expect? Of course he's moody, says his dad, says the counsellor, says everyone else in high school about each other. Moody because he's a teenager - rebellious stage, hormones, just a phase. But he's 17, and he's still fucking pissed about it.

Pissed because they spent so many nights and days together, alone, without the rest of the group. What the fuck did they think they did? Not talk? Not learn about each other? Not figure each other out? Not protect each other?

He's fucking pissed. Because there was a moment where Sora took him to the side and asked if he was okay, asked him if he's okay because Mimi's not exactly the most level-headed, a little too much even for the most patient of people, like he was the one taking care of her and not the other way around. Like she wasn't the one to save him - save him from his cold, his loneliness, his darkness. Like she didn't protect him - like she wasn't the most glorious, beautiful, (oh god so terrifyingly beautiful) being in the whole Digiworld. Like she didn't steal the breath from his lungs and build him up from the ground. Like they didn't trade heart and soul. Like they didn't fall in love.

Well, that's not how it works. A few nights alone doesn't leave you still strangers by the end.

(What the fuck did the rest of the group think they did? Not stay together? Not fall in love?)

Fuck. That.

She comes back like a whirlwind. He's in a band, he's popular and she's a fucking whirlwind.

Screw convention. Screw expectation. She fucking jumps into his arms and he spins her around. Or something. Lips involved, hot breaths involved, people watching, her hands burn on his skin, he needs more.

They're a fucking whirlwind.

Take that, Digidestined. Take that.

Because we talked. Because we became friends. Because we stayed friends, despite the ocean and a whole fucking country between us.

Because we fell in love.

Ishida Yamato swears up and down that he is not in love with Tachikawa Mimi. He swears on his heart, his grave - anything he can get his hands on - that he isn't in love with Tachikawa Mimi.

(Except...he is. He's so, so, so, so in love.

He's going to ask her to marry him in 3…

2…

1…)

"Hey, Mi-chan…"