Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. It belongs to Greed. Everything belongs to him, actually, so I don't know who this Arakawa person thinks they are.

[Mustang]
Hello Hello, Who is this?
Oh god it's you again …
You've called me for the fourteenth time, don't you have other friends?

No, I don't want to hear you talk about your family!
Sorry; I cannot hear you

I'm kinda busy
K-kinda busy
K-kinda busy
Sorry; I cannot hear you
I'm kinda busy

I don't want to hang up or act like a total jerk
But I can't talk to you while trying to do paperwork

You should've called me earlier when you knew I was free
And now you won't stop calling me
I'm kinda busy

Stop callin', stop callin'; I don't wanna think anymore!; I need to do my work so I can be Fuhrer
Stop callin'', stop callin; I don't wanna talk anymore!; I need to do my work so I can be Fuhrer

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I'm busy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

[Envy]

Can call all you want but there's no one home and he's not gonna reach his telephone!
'Cause he knew way too much and when all's said and done he is not gonna reach his telephone

Can call all you want but there's no one home and he's not gonna reach his telephone!
'Cause he knew way too much and when all's said and done he is not gonna reach his telephone

[Hughes]
Man, I wish that the operator could work a little faster, dial a little faster, this is crucial as ever.
The military's in danger and this is a disaster!
Please connect me to Central
Mustang would you please answer!

[Mustang]

You keep talkin' 'bout your daughter and it's so distracting
And I am sick and tired of my phone ri-ringing
And you know how the work gets down in Central HQ
And I don't have the time to waste just talking to you
Talking to you

T-Talking to you

And I don't have the time to waste just talking to you

Stop callin', stop callin'; I don't wanna think anymore!; I need to do my work so I can be Fuhrer
Stop callin'', stop callin; I don't wanna talk anymore!; I need to do my work so I can be Fuhrer

Stop callin', stop callin'; I don't wanna think anymore!; I need to do my work so I can be Fuhrer
Stop callin'', stop callin; I don't wanna talk anymore!; I need to do my work so I can be Fuhrer

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I'm busy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

[Envy]

Can call all you want but there's no one home and he's not gonna reach his telephone!
'Cause he knew way too much and when all's said and done he is not gonna reach his telephone

Can call all you want but there's no one home and he's not gonna reach his telephone!
'Cause he knew way too much and when all's said and done he is not gonna reach his telephone

Can call all you want but there's no one home and he's not gonna reach his telephone!
'Cause he knew way too much and when all's said and done he is not gonna reach his telephone
The telephone
Th-th-the telephone
'Cause he knew way too much and when all's said and done he is not gonna reach his telephone

We're sorry; the number you have reached is not in service at this time
Please check the number, or try your call again

By the way, I am now taking requests for songs you would like me to parody, or things you would like me to write about. I won't guarantee anything, but I'm always looking for inspiration.