The Avonlea Alphabet

A is for Anne, without Joyce or Walter

B is for Bertha, see her health falter

C is for Cuthbert and Matthew's prostration

D is for Diana's intoxication

E is Elizabeth meek and forlorn

F is for Fred, fat and careworn

G is for Gilbert, down with Typhoi

H is Mr. Harrison, a bad, bad boy

I is Irene, proud, false and cruel

J is for Jem and his motber's faux jewel

K is for Katherine, friendless and alone

until Anne rescued her and now she has one

L is for Lynde, Rachel haranguing the min'ster

M is Marilla, a dried up old spinster

N is for Nan, oh, the crazy things she said!

until she met the Meredith girls, and got it all out of her head

O is the ocean where Lost Margaret died

P is for Paul's grief and the tears that he cried

Q is for Queen's, geometry barely stuck in Anne's head

R is for Ruby, consumptive and dead

S is for Stella, not very important

T is the tomcat that Phil chloroform't

U is for Una, wasting her life

V is for Vance, Mary causing much strife

W is Walter, pushing daisies in France

X is the rating this poem won't get. Not a chance!

Y is for youth. Mourn that it's gone.

Z is the end. Dang it, I'm done.