Delirium's Reprieve

Hiza-chan

When Matt sees him, he isn't sure whether he wants to laugh, vomit, or cry.

He winds up doing all three, and Mello glares at him wearily as the laughs spew from his lips, dribbling down his chin to melt in with the insanity that is almost tangible. This is it, he thinks, this is what he's been searching for years to find. A crackwhore with his friend's face, feverish and nearly blown apart.

The sickly sweet smell of burning flesh- the leer that Mello throws him as Matt kneels down to touch his face –it's almost as if the blonde doesn't recognize him.

And maybe he doesn't. The fever glazed eyes tell him that at least. Who knows what Mello is thinking, if he is thinking at all.

And this is it. This is Mello, through and through. His quest to succeed L and beat Near at his own game has turned him mad.

When Mello smiles at him, several blisters pop and puss oozes down the blonde's cheek.

Matt bends over and retches.

Mello needs a doctor, he tells himself as he lifts the blonde off the ground. Mello just hangs there, the smile still on his face and his eyes still glazed with pain and fever.

"Matt…" Mello croons, trailing a hand down the other man's cheek.

Matt shudders and hopes against hope that Mello would just fall unconscious already.

"Why didn't you go get help?" he asks softly, boots crunching over gravel and debris as he makes his way towards the car.

Mello's smile broadens and he clings to Matt's chest with gloved hands. The blisters are red and bleeding and his gloves are starting to feel slick from all the blood on them.

"I called you, didn't I?" he rasps.

Matt snorts and slides Mello into the passenger seat carefully, making sure not to hit the blonde's head.

"Mello, you fucking called me and told me to look for the fireworks. How was I supposed to know where the fuck you were? For all you know, I could have been in a completely different country."

Matt slides into the car next to Mello, starting the car and driving away from the rubble that could have been his once best friend's tomb.

Mello snickers quietly, raising a hand to touch his ruined face and the look he gives Matt is so demented that Matt almost wants to throw him out the passenger door. Almost.

"You think I don't know you've been following me? You're always nearby Matt. I can smell it. Wherever I go, whatever I do, you're always only a couple steps behind me."

His mouth goes dry, and he turns to Mello with wide eyes.

"You CAN'T live without me, can you? Me leaving was it for you. Your inspiration was gone. Heh, you could have made it to the top. With me and Near gone, you could have been the top student at Wammy's. But what did you do? You came with me. You followed me. Every country, every town, every fucking street I walked down, you were only a block or two away. You couldn't live without me, so you had to make sure I stayed alive."

The remarks sting, and the barbs cut deep, and it just goes to show how fucked up they both are that Matt welcomes the hurt with open arms, just glad to have it back.

"Maybe you're right, Mello. Maybe I can't live without you."