A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the long break. I was originally working on "A Diary of Pain" but I couldn't motivate myself to really write it. Italics represent thoughts, voices in someone's head or just emphasized words. And yes, I do hate Sora so I make fun of him sometimes…And I don't really like the nobody that I'm bringing back xD.
SUMMARY: With the loss of his heart and the revival of a certain nobody, what's a guy to do? Rated T.
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING.
Torn Hearts
"Riku?"
Hey, person that's listening or reading (whatever) this. I'd give you my full name but I'd rather you just call me Riku.
"Hey, helloooooo?"
That idiot in front of me with the spiky hair is my friend, Sora. I've known him since forever (more like since I was six). We're complete polar opposites, so it's hard to believe that we're as close as we are.
"Rikuuuuuu…"
Anyway, I'm 16 and I guess you could say that I'm the most popular guy at my high school. I'm not as outgoing as I used to be but people think that makes me cooler. I have no clue why.
"Are you rolling your eyes at me?"
People don't understand that I'm not really into socializing, ESPECIALLY girls. They practically worship me like the stalkers they are. Hey, I am pretty good looking you know…But it's still pretty creepy.
"Riku, why are you winking at me like that? We're going to be late for Tidus's New Year's party!"
One year ago, something happened. I'm too lazy to give out the details, but I lost my body to the darkness. I guess I just needed something to happen to remind me that this is reality. I needed some excitement. A lot of things happened afterwards and I'm still way too lazy to explain them. In the end, Sora rescued me from the darkness…
And myself.
…
I think.
"RIKU, SNAP OUT OF IT!"
Riku suddenly blinked to actually notice Sora standing in front of him. They were by the docks on the mini island.
"You're so out of it! What were you thinking about anyway?" the fifteen year old brunette teased his best friend.
"It was nothing," Riku replied quietly.
"Then how come you were so…not there?"
"It's none of your concern."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that what I was thinking about doesn't really have anything to do with you. You are not involved in it in anyway whatsoever so you don't have any business asking me what it was that I was thinking about."
"Are you sure?"
"YES, I'M SURE, SORA," Riku gritted his teeth.
Sora's smiled faded from his face,"You know," he began to pace around, "You've been really…distant ever since we got back from the World That Never Was. Are you feeling okay? Sometimes, you seem like you used to be before everything happened…You know…I guess at least somewhat happy," Sora confessed, "And now…I guess you just seem to be really content one moment and angry the next. If something's wrong, I'm always here if you ever need to talk."
"What are you, my psychiatrist?" Riku asked with certain annoyance, "Or are you trying to say that I'm bipolar or something?"
Sora's face appeared to be filled with suffering as he tried to ignore that last statement, "You just seem to stare off into space a lot lately. I thought that was supposed to be my roll!" Sora laughed half-heartedly.
The sixteen year old said nothing. He began to walk away from Sora and stepped into his boat to go back to the main island. He wasn't really up for going to Tidus's New Year party; he was only going because Sora was forcing him to go and saying that it would be 'so much fun'.
Finally, he turned his head slightly and stared right into Sora's royal orbs.
"Sora?"
"What is it, Riku?"
The silver haired teen inhaled deeply, preparing to pour his heart out to Sora, "Why is it that reality is so…"
"HEY! Sorry I'm late!" a familiar redhead ran up toward the two friends, "I forgot something back there and had to go look for it.," she pointed towards the Secret Place, "Are you guys ready to go now?"
Damn, it's Kairi.
"Sure, Kairi!" Sora beamed at her, "Oh, hey, Riku?"
"What now, Sora?"
He forgot that I was saying something. What a dumbass.
"I…I need to know something…Riku…Do you regret coming back to the islands with me?" he asked innocently.
Riku proceeded to ignore the question but answered in his head instead. It was easier that way.
I'm sorry Sora…I don't know. Sometimes, when I'm happy, I don't at regret it at all. You know, like I was earlier. But now, I'm pissed and really wish I had died along with the darkness that used to hold me hostage.
Why is my heart filled with such devastation? Is it the reality that has locked me in its cage that is making me feel this way? I'm just so carefree when I'm stuck in my delusion…Like nothing bad ever happened. I'm so tired of this on and off emotional pain…
Will it ever end?
Riku looked away from the two as he took out his paddles, "I'll meet you guys at the main island."
"Wait, Riku, you didn't answer me! RIKU!" Sora yelled. But it was futile; his best friend was currently unreceptive to anything. He would be lucky if he even got a response that didn't quite answer the question.
Riku didn't move. He sat in the boat for a few seconds before turning around, a miniscule smirk on his face.
"Wakaranai."
He turned around and began paddling away.
I'm sorry Sora…I don't want to disappoint you.
"WAIT, RIKU, I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANOTHER LANGUAGE BESIDES ENGLISH! PLEASE! IT'S AN IMPORTANT QUESTION! YOU NEED TO ANSWER IT! DON'T GO! PLEASE RIKU!!"
"Sora, let him be!" Kairi attempted to calm the boy she loved down, "He always speaks in another language when he doesn't want us to know something."
"But Kairi! I have to know! I need to know if what I did was for nothing, if it was in vain! Riku is my best friend!"
"Sora, maybe you should try learning another language then. So far, he's ignored us in Japanese, French, Spanish, and Latin. Try learning one of them!"
As Kairi and Sora debated, Riku sadly ignored his sapphire eyed friend without truly wanting to. Sora had been a difficult subject for him ever since he had his form discovered in the World That Never Was. The adolescent began to think about Kairi instead as he fostered his hatred for her.
Lately, she's been doing nothing but looking at Sora…I never cared for her anyway, but it's so annoying. I only 'saved her' last year so I could rub it in Sora's face like the ignorant fool I was and still am. I wish she would just shut up…But why am I complaining? At least she remained loyal to her friends through thick and thin…She always stayed true to her heart and herself…
Unlike me.
Riku began paddling away, trying to ignore Kairi's voice which rang in his ear like impending doom.
Did they even care that I left them behind?...
Or are they the ones who left me behind?
Riku began paddling faster, oblivious to the world around him. Finally, he realized that he hadn't been paying attention to where he was paddling. He stopped in order to look around the area.
He had no idea where he was.
The emerald eyed teen swore moodily under his breath, "Where the hell am I?" he sighed, "How did I get myself into this mess?"
I guess that they were too busy talking to notice that I wasn't heading towards the islands. How oblivious can they get?
He pondered slightly as he scanned the vast expanse, "I really should get myself into a better mood so I can actually concentrate on where I'm unfortunately going. I'm so useless, it's just stupid."
As Riku tried to make himself feel at least remotely happy so he could go back to Destiny Islands safely, he felt a pang of pain in his left side.
It's been three months since then…The doctor said I would be fine but that it would still occasionally hurt sometimes.
But ever since I took that hit for Sora, I've been having nightmares…Black and almost diabolic patterns crawl up my skin starting from my hip to my heart, the source of all my misery and heartbreak…And as soon as the darkness of the patterns overcompensates in my heart, all the grief, all the sadness…
It fades away.
Even so, it leaves a strange hollow feeling that I need to get rid of. All of the anguish in the world seems to fall upon my shoulders. It hurts so badly, but I can't feel it. It rips at my very being until I can't even take it anymore.
But I want to feel it. I need to feel it.
As Riku stared intensely at his surroundings, he deducted that since the sun was setting and he knew that the main island was east, he would try going northeast.
The neighbors were thinking of sending me to a psychiatrist. I guess they got tired of waking up in the middle of the night because of my screams. But hey, they stopped complaining when I began to suffer from insomnia. They probably thought I was sleeping. What a joke. They don't know the real me.
At least I never wet the bed like Sora.
Ha.
As he paddled on, he began to see the silhouette of the main island in the faraway distance. It wretched his miserable heart.
It's so close, yet so far away into the distance…I don't even know what to feel when I look at it. It's my home, yet it once meant nothing to me and I can't figure out what it means to me now..
I wonder if it will snow anytime soon…We didn't even have a white Christmas. For once in my life, I want to see the purity of the gently falling snow…
Could it make that difference I need in my life?
Suddenly, the emerald orbs of Riku's pale face widened. He felt a violent pain in his chest, no, his soul. He immediately began throwing up crimson liquid into the aqua ocean. Out of immense fear, he unzipped his double vest to examine his chest. He gasped in fear.
It was covered in the same black pattern from his dreams.
"No…"
Riku clutched his chest, breathing harshly and shallowly. He was in complete anguish. Beads of sweat ran down his forehead, landing and making ripples in the red puddle in the ocean. He could feel his heart beating fast.
Too fast.
Am I having a heart attack?
The pain intensified and the teenager cried out in agony. He could hear a strange voice in his head laughing evilly.
Why are you so against the nobodies? What did they ever do to you? All we ever wanted were hearts! And you, you take yours for granted. I attacked your hip with the twilight that encircles our empty souls. To pay for your sins, your heart will be sacrificed and given to a nobody who deserves and wants it.
You said you were tired of your on and off emotional pain. Be grateful for this final action of the Organization XIII…
Riku whispered angrily, "Xemnas?"
The laughter slowly became more real. Riku's eyes opened wider in horror. An apparition of Xemnas appeared before him. He had had his back to the teen as he stared up into the sky.
Kingdom Hearts had opened it's gates up in the sky in front of them.
"Kingdom Hearts…Who have you decided to give this precious heart to?"
Riku grasped the boat tightly, blood trailing down his mouth.
Xemnas turned around and glared at Riku, "Now, you shall understand what it truly means to not be able to feel anything."
As the nobody disappeared, Riku began to scream. He felt his very heart and soul being ripped out of his body. As blood seemed to pour out of his mouth and land in the red cloudy ocean, he knew that he was fading fast. His body seemed to be twitching as if he were having a seizure. He could feel his eyes rolling into the back of his head. Darkness completely shrouded his vision as he gasped for breath.
What's happening to me?
The last thing Riku saw was a man standing over him with spiky hair.
"Yo," the former nobody smirked. His eyes were unreadable.
"You…"
A/N: Is Riku going to die? Who is the nobody that has come back to life? Stay tuned…If that makes any sense. Happy New Year as well! By the way, 'wakaranai' is the impolite way of saying 'I don't know' in Japanese.
