Disclaimer: I do not now, nor will I ever own SpongeBob Squarepants or its characters.

Author's Note: This is a little OOC and most assuredly, yaoi. This is rated M for a reason. You have been warned so don't get pissy if it ends up disgusting or offending you.


Title: What Happens In A Pineapple Under The Sea. . .

Rated: M (sexual situations, some S&M, minor swearing)

Pairings: SpongeBob/Patrick


Even the most evil of men and women, if you understand their hearts, had some generous act that redeems them, at least a little, from their sins.

-Orson Scott Card, Speaker For The Dead (1986)


Soft snoring filled the air as the rooms occupants continued to sleep. The water was nice and clean inviting all those that lived beneath it to sleep in. However, the peace and serenity of the morning was interrupted by the abrupt harsh honking of a bullhorn alarm clock. Bulbous blue eyes popped wide open. "Its morning!" SpongeBob shouted, popping out of bed. "You know what that means, Gary?" he asked his pet snail, who seemed none to pleased to be woken up.

"Meow," Gary said, retreating into his shell.

"That's right! Its time for," SpongeBob jumped into the air doing a mid air spin and magically appearing into his clothes, "WORK!" Rushing down the stairs, SpongeBob made his way to the door and, after filling up Gary's bowl, went outside.

"Hey SpongeBob!" Patrick bellowed, waving from under his coconut roof.

"Hiya Patrick!" SpongeBob yelled back.

"You wanna go jellyfishing?" he asked, falling to the floor.

"Da ha ha ha ha ha ha! C'mon Patrick, you know I have to work. Besides, it's a little early for that, don't'cha think?"

"Tarter sauce. How about when you get back? I really need to talk to you," he said, a slight frown on his cone shaped face.

"Sorry Patrick, but I have to work late," SpongeBob said apologetically.

"Fish paste... But I really do need to talk to you."

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait, can't it?"

"I guess," he muttered, a frustrated look on his face.

The window to the Stonehenge between them suddenly burst open. "Will you two barnacle heads shut up?! Some of us are trying to sleep here! What are you doing up this early anyway?!" asked a disgruntled Squidward.

"Oh, hi Squidward! I always get up at five in the morning to clean the inside and outside of the Krusty Krab."

Squidward frowned. "Ask a silly question.. Well, if you're gonna do it then get on with it so I can get some peace and quiet!"

"Okay! See ya, Squidward! See ya, Patrick!" SpongeBob yelled, waving good bye as he began to jog off.

Patrick watched SpongeBob leave with an expression of longing and loneliness on his face. "Hurry back, SpongeBob. Hurry back..."


"One dollar.. Two dollar.. Three dollar.. Four dollar.. I love money, yes I do. Five dollar.. Six dollar.. Seven dollar.. Eight dollar.. Money, money, money makes me happy too!" Mr. Krabs sat behind his desk counting his money, singing lightly. When SpongeBob suddenly burst in to the room.

"Mr Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! You'll never believe it!"

"Yes, boy! What is it?"

"It's the most awe inspiring, amazing thing ever!"

"Yes?! Yes?!"

"I found..."

"Spit it out, boy! What did you find?!"

"I found.. I found..."

"What?!"

" I found... A Krabby Patty that's shaped just like Mermaid Man! Looks like theirs evil afoot! Da ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

". . . . .what?"

"Look!" SpongeBob said, presenting the patty. "Doesn't it look just like Mermaid Man?"

Mr. Krabs stared blankly at SpongeBob, his eye twitching. "SpongeBob... get back to work. Yer suppose to be making Krabby Patties, not playing with them."

"Aye aye Mr. Krabs! You're right! I'll just save this for later," he said skipping, out.

Mr. Krabs sighed. "Poor boy's has a whole lot of heart and no sense." Mr. Krabs went back to counting his money.


"Hey Squidward? Hey Squidward? Hey Squidward? Hey Squidward? Hey Squidward? Hey Squidw-"

"WHAT?!"

"Can I ask you something?"

"What is it? And you better not ask me about you stupid Mermaid Man patty!"

SpongeBob blinked. "Can I ask you something else?"

Squidward sighed. "What?"

"Do you think Patrick's been acting weird lately?"

Squidward gave SpongeBob a pointed look. "He always acts weird. How would I know I be able to tell if he was acting more weirder than usual? He's suppose to be your best friend. Now please, leave me alone. I'm very busy," with that said, he went back to flipping through his Interpret Dance magazine.

SpongeBob frowned. Lately, he felt that Patrick had been acting strangely. Especially towards him. He couldn't figure out what it was. Patrick was his best friend, but he'd been so busy with work for the past couple of weeks that he hadn't been able to play as much. He felt like he was being a bad friend, and maybe Patrick was beginning to feel that way too. SpongeBob gasped. Maybe that was it. Maybe the reason why Patrick had been acting weirdly and the reason why he wanted to talk to him so badly was because Patrick waned to tell him that he was replacing him! That he was getting a new best friend!

"Oh no!" SpongeBob gasped and immediately began crying . Huge racking sobs that gathered the attention of everyone in the restaurant.

Squidward rushed in. "SpongeBob what the heck are you doing?! You're bothering the customers, not to mention me."

SpongeBob sobbed out. "Oh Squidward! This is terrible! The worst news ever!"

Mr. Krabs stormed in. "SpongeBob! What's going on here? You're scaring away me money... er... customers!"

SpongeBob ran over to Mr. Krabs. "Oh Mr. Krabs! I don't know what to do! This is horrible!"

"What, boy? What's wrong?"

"Patrick.. Patrick... Patrick..."

"Will you get on with it?! What about Patrick?" Squidward asked impatiently.

"Patrick.... PATRICK DOESN'T WANT ME ANYMORE!!"

. . . . . .Dead silence rand out through the entire restaurant. The silence was only interrupted by the hiccuping sobs made ny the devastated yellow rectangle squeezing Mr. Krabs shook hiimself out of his stupor. He didn't know what the hell was going on, but he knew it was bad for business. "Errr... SpongeBob... I'm not sure what you're talking about or what you mean, but clearly its making you incapable of cooking me food. Why don't you go home for the rest of the day?"

SpongeBob looked up with watery eyes. "I couldn't do that! Who would make the Krabby Patties?"

"Squidward can do that," he ignored Squidward's outraged cry. "This isn't a request, boy. Captain's orders. Go on home."

At Mr. Krabs insisting, SpongeBob gathered himself and left. He had to talk to Patrick.


Patrick was at home lounging on his chair, staring with unseeing eyes, at the tv. His ming was too preoccupied to be paying attention to whatever was going on on tv. He didn't know what to do about SpongeBob. He was feeling very confused. SpongeBob was his friend, but the way he felt... he wasn't sure what to make of it. He hadn't felt this way since he ate his first chocolate bar, and even that feeling couldn't compare to what he was feeling now. This was like the first candy bar experience multiplied by a hundred.

He didn't know what to do about the situation. He didn't know what to say. Didn't know how to act. He just didn't know and it bugged the hell out of him. He had never been awkward around SpongeBob before, but now he felt unsure of himself and his status. He had never had this kind of problem before in his life. Usually, the most complex decision he had to make was what he was going to eat. This was way out of his element. He needed to talk to SpongeBob. He knew that for sure. He just didn't know how to go about it.

Patrick was interrupted from his pondering, when his coconut roof was lifted and SpongeBob came running in, sobbing, "Patrick! Oh Patrick! I'm sorry I haven't been there! I was being insensitive! I want you! Please don't replace me with another friend!" SpongeBob clung to Patrick.

Patrick didn't hear anything past, "I want you!" This was it! The moment he had dreamed of. Maybe SpongeBob had felt the same way he did all along and he was confused too. Maybe that was why he had been so busy. If he kept his mind occupied with work then he wouldn't have to face the reality that he was in love with his friend. SpongeBob must have finally cracked and realized he couldn't deny his feelings for me anymore, Patrick thought. His eyes welled up. I understand him completely. He must've been hurting so much.

Patrick slowly wrapped his arms around SpongeBob. "Its okay SpongeBob. I understand everything and I feel the same way."

SpongeBob looked up, teary eyed. "You do?"

Patrick's smile turned feral. He had waited too long for the this moment to come and he was going to make sure that his fantasies became a reality. Tightening his grip on SpongeBob, he lowered his head and gave SpongeBob a deep passionate kiss.

SpongeBob froze, unsure what was happening and what to do. Then he began to push and struggle in Patrick's ever tightening grip. "Patrick?! What are you do-" he was cut off as Patrick used the opportunity to force his tongue in his mouth.

Patrick kept his grip tight. Keeping total control of the situation. Patrick put his tongue down as deep as it could go, probing, seeking, invading. Tearing off SpongeBob's clothes, he began to placing feverish kissed down SpongeBob's throat. Or was that SpongeBob's chest? SpongeBob's body seemed to have skipped a neck and went strait to a chest. Ignoring the oddity, Patrick went back to work, biting, nipping, sucking, his hands continuing to explore.

Patrick finally stopped to look at his handiwork. SpongeBob lay on the floor, panting, skin slick, covered in bites. Patrick grinned before getting up, giving SpongeBob a quick kiss. "Be right back," he said, going to his drawer.

SpongeBob panted, staring up at nothing. What's happening? What is Patrick doing? I can't... This isn't... What... SpongeBob couldn't think coherently. He was unprepared to deal with this kind of development.

Patrick came back in the room with handcuffs, a ball gag, and another object he couldn't identify. SpongeBob looked on in apprehension. "Patrick... Da ha ha ha ha ha ha... what are you doing?"

Patrick didn't answer. He kept coming and knelt in front of him. "Turn around," he said solemnly.

SpongeBob quivered. "Umm... Patrick? I think I should go.."

With a dark in his eyes, Patrick said, "You're not going anywhere. Now turn around."

SpongeBob must have hesitated for too long because before he knew what was happening, he had been flipped on to his stomach, his hands pulled behind his back and handcuffed, the ball gag tied around his mouth.

Patrick's grin was absolutely feral as he looked down at SpongeBob. He was going to enjoy this. Scooting closer to SpongeBob's form, he began kissing down SpongeBob's back. Leaving a moist trail as he went lower, he pulled down SpongeBob's underwear. Gazing at the round, yellow cheeks of SpongeBob's ass. Patrick felt himself harden. Using his right appendage to make a finger, Patrick slowly began to explore SpongeBob's puckered opening.

SpongeBob's eyes popped wide open as he felt Patrick do what no one had ever done before. SpongeBob tensed in pain, his eyes welled up. He didn't couldn't comprehend waht was happening to him. Patrick removed his finger abruptly, but soon replaced it with something else. Something that started off small, but got bigger and wider as it went further in.

SpongeBob tightened his eyes. He could feel his body opening, slowly widening to accept the foreign object. He relaxed by inches as his body got used to the object that was slowly moving in and out of him. Soon, involuntary sounds of pleasure left his throat.

Patrick stopped when he heard the first moan of pleasure leave SpongeBob's throat. He grinned. SpongeBob was finally getting into it. Leaving the apparatus in SpongeBob's behind, he stood up and removed his shorts. It was time to get down to business.

Patrick removed the apparatus and knelt behind SpongeBob. Positioning himself, Patrick leaned over SpongeBob's body and began to nibble around the hole that served as his ear. "Just relax yourself. It'll only hurt for a second, bitch," giving a vicious bite, Patrick thrust forward.

SpongeBob gave out a muffled scream. He gritted his teeth as much as the gag would allow. Barnacles, did it hurt. Saliva began to drip down from the ball as he panted, trying to relax in hopes of lessening the pain.

"Oh tarter sauce! You are so fucking tight." Patrick groaned, his eyes closed. He leaned forward to remove SpongeBob's gag. "I wanna hear you scream for me." He slowly began moving in and out, eyes still closed.

As SpongeBob felt himself widening, he began to come back to his senses. This shouldn't be happening. They were friends. Friends didn't do this. "Patrick, please... I.... we shouldn't.." as SpongeBob protested, Patrick reached his hand down to play with SpongeBob's genitals. SpongeBob groaned loudly as wave after wave of pleasure washed over him. "Yes! Harder! Smack my ass and call me a whore!"

Patrick blinked in surprise before giving a savage grin as he quickly complied. "Yeah! Ya like that, don't'cha, bitch?!"

"Yes! Yes! Fuck me, Patrick! Fuck me hard!"

Patrick began ramming forward, smacking SpongeBob's ass. "Yeah! Take it, whore!" Patrick moved his hand to fondle SpongeBob again. "Cum in my hand! Cum in my hand!"

SpongeBob felt a pressure build up inside of him. He wasn't sure what the feeling was, but he felt that if he'd just let himself go, he'd reach nirvana. Complying with own wishes, he let himself go.

The orgasm caught him by surprise. SpongeBob screamed as he felt his seed wash over Patrick's hand.

"Ahh, I'm coming!" Patrick roared as he emptied himself in to SpongeBob. He fell forward as he finished, undoing the cuffs and cuddling SpongeBob to his chest. "I love you, SpongeBob. You're my very best friend."

SpongeBob eyes opened. He began to struggle out of Patrick's grasp. Patrick released him reluctantly. "Where are you going?" SpongeBob didn't answer. "SpongeBob? SpongeBob?" As SpongeBob continued to walk forward, and ignore him, Patrick began to cry. Maybe I was wring and SpongeBob doesn't want me.

Patrick's somber thoughts were interrupted as SpongeBob returned holding a bottle of chocolate syrup, an impish smile on his face. "Ready for round two?"


End: What Happens In A Pineapple Under The Sea...


Author's Note: Mission completed. I was given the mission to write a gay SpongeBob story by my cousin and I have finished it. If you have a mission request for me, leave it in a review or PM me. Remember that I only do one shots. For more info, visit my profile. R&R! Deuces. . . . .