Ash lie, dreaming. In his dream he saw May, beautiful. Her clothes were an airy dress that danced against the air as she jumped among flowers, and her eyes were painted with the color of rainbows.

Suddenly, she turned to him and droned "Ash." then shook him. He smiled like an idiot, she touched him! She shook him more and screamed his name gutturally.

He bolted up, with his usual brutal face expression on. Pikachu wailed then flung him a fresh egg, which he broke with a roundhouse kick then fried the airborne substance with his piss, which was a fart dragon's bile. He ate up the egg, but then someone rung the doorbell.

Ash screamed black metal songs, then went to the door. He opened it.

There stood May. "They invented a machine that incarnates the most beautiful women from dreams. I am yours now~" she cooed, making his jaw fall on his head. He hugged her hard, lifting her up slightly, but took the chance to rise her dress to peek at her tight ass. He laughed a throaty laugh.

Pikachu threw up. Ash motioned her to sit down on a chair, then he switched the lights down with a dropkick on the lightbulb. A shrapnel almost hit her, but he deflected it swiftly with a dickpunch. She giggled.

Ash then dropkicked the buttons on the remote to switch the TV on. The phone rung. He answered by dropkicking the phone, then talked with a language where all sounds and letters were made of dropkicks alone. May complained that her iPhone was also glitching but he fixed it with...his hands...yes...

...he used them to place a screwdriver over it then dropkicked it from above, fixing it so hard, it can't be broken now.

Pikachu laughed. Ash heard that. Then Pikachu brought a ladder, placed it in front of Ash, then after climbing it, Pikachu laughed it his face.

Ash gaped in disbelief. He was so...boggled. His nipples grew and they were made of sand and death dragons. He punched Pikachu with them, making him fly out of the van, then betray his girlfriend because lambs and sheep eat Karakurt spiders. He dropkicked the ladder, turning it into a pokeball. The Pikachu stood in the air, his head tilted 54 degrees into nowhere. Ash placed the pokeball in his mouth then gently pushed it further. Each gag caused Death Dragons so suffer from seizures and their own conscience.

The roof broke. Ash fixed it with nails made of dropkicks and dropkicks, but it broke again. Down from the roofhole fell Lenin. Pikachu hated Lenin.

Next came Count Dracula. May hated him.

Lastly, came from the hole down Michael Jackson. Guess who hated him? Adolf Hitler did.

They forged a hateful circle and came to a conclusion: they'd play Hide n' Seek until one of them catches syphilis, then that guy (yes, guy) would dance to dubstep until his head would come off. Which they'd use as a globe for the universe. Why not explore the snotty caverns first?

Lenin approached Ash's head, grinning you-know-how. He unzipped his pants then Ash made a pathetic whine, that sounded like "Don't do it?" Lenin shook his head, saying some shit no one cared about, nor anyone understood. Pikachu came, though. He then rubbed it off on Lenin's face, then dropkicked it into Dracula's cunt, for he was Cunt Dracula, having a cunt instead of mouth.

"PIKACHU!" Ash screamed. Pikachu slapped him.

"You dickwart! I should scream my name, not you!" Pikachu wailed then killed a fart dragon so hard, it exploded into eggs. Ash placed his head back by thinking of supermassive black hole gangbanging, then laughed a throaty laugh, which resonated through the eggs in such a fucking way, it made them mutate into a gigantic robot named Fuckpussy.

Fuckpussy destroyed the Moon for no reason at all, then went to a church to repent, but accidentally vomited all over the saint's clothes, then farted so loud it severely disturbed Arceus and it became pregnant. Fuckpussy punched its stomach then ate it divine asshole out, sucking the corpse out of it, the abortion is a success. He raped the unborn kid then ate it, all while the people in the church watched, with some fapping to it. Fuckpussy ate some laxative then shitted in its hand, flinging unborn baby shit and making monkey sounds, while the people caught and ate the feces like desperate dogs.

Fuckpussy was evil. He turned around then slapped one of his meaty buttocks, and so hard, it made Mohammed Ali wince. He then killed all women with his red slap marks, because he hated them.

"Fuck sex! Fuck vaginas! I WANT CANDY!" He screamed, then he ate out a rat because mantis females eat the heads of mantis males after mating them. Ash and Pikachu observed this complete bullshit. Pikachu barked at Fuckpussy, who retaliated by wringing him off his bile to marinate the lungs and wombs of Purugly to ultimate slickness. Pikachu's head exploded, and Ash caught his skull and ate it, chomping.

"Stop it, Ash." Fuckpussy droned. "If you keep doing this, there won't be more Pikachus to wring out and skull-explode then drink their bile with wine, then eat out his skull with a skull, skull."

The young man dropped the gigantic testicle he was eating.

"Lash Bitchrome? Wha-"

"I am no longer Gash Sketcher." Mash Butchface said. "The quasars have flipped. I am Bash Snatchcum, of Buttrage."

The robot sniffled.

"I bite my thumb at your Buttrage, felcher of repugnant portals!" The robot sniffled. "How many spaces I wasted on your mediocre face! You doorhole-refusing monkey-blossom!"

The robot sniffled. Slash Frenchfist punched his skull though Saturn, hungry for planet blood.

"So what?" The robot sniffled. "Is it a crime, should a robot feel like felching a portal or a repugnance if they crawl around rusty heavens like lisp-bitten bull-dogs with honey-bee runny-poo for mind-brains?"

Rash cast a glance upon a bitten testicle. An unsavory view pierced his imagination: an oversized cockroach ate out a hole in a meaty organ and stimulated itself while singing angry songs because box jellyfishes are the most poisonous on Earth. Ash glowered at his Pikachu. He wasn't alive, yet usable. He thought of tomatoes, which caused all Death Dragons to do yo-momma battles, then everyone danced to dubstep until their heads came off.

...

Fin.