Title: Why Not Sooner
Author: No Wishing On The Never Star
Summary: "Everybody's looking for a something, one thing that makes it all complete. Well, for me it's waking up beside you, to watch the sun rise on your face, to know that I can say, 'I love you,' in any given time or place."
Rating: Rated T
Author's Note: Just a little something that started out as a poem to my girlfriend, and quickly avalanched into this. Enjoy.
Chapter 1: Why Not Sooner
Written by Anna for my very own Ms. Addiction.
Why not sooner?
Am I alone in this world?
Am I the only one in this universe that feels so…
Concealed? Insatiable? Defenseless?
We were great as just friends,
but there was something more brewing deep in both of us,
to the point where all I could think of was you.
One day,
I couldn't take it anymore,
and I exploded.
I should've seen this coming.
I cried hot tears as I poured out my weeping heart,
my vulnerability flowing into your open, awaiting, eager hands.
I turned my head.
Purposely, your stare was deflected as I uttered my feelings in a shaky, unsteady voice.
"I love you; I have for a long time, now."
You smiled beautifully,
your features lighting up with glee.
You took my trembling hands in yours,
and whispered
"I know. I love you, too."
And the world stilled.
My heart was jumping in my chest.
It was so loud, surely you heard it?
I'm afraid to blink; I might lose this newly found sun.
I delved into your amazing brown eyes,
gazed into your soul.
You're serious. You're telling the truth.
I thought I was unlovable?
No one could ever want me, love me.
But you do?
I smile weakly and press your hand to my chest,
letting you feel how my heart beats for you; for you only.
I look at your face,
studying your features,
memorizing every soft curve, every line, every worry crease.
You're beautiful.
Breath-taking.
Gorgeous.
Do you get hit on everywhere you go?
Surely you do.
I quell the silent green monster with a smile and reach up with my unoccupied hand to cradle your cheek.
You lean into my touch,
I can see your slight tremble.
I keep smiling at you as you reach up with your other hand to lay it on top of mine.
You close the distance between us and softly brush your lips across mine before
gently (hesitantly) capturing my lips with yours.
My mind fogs up;
all I can think of is how soft your lips are, how sweet you taste, how much I'm in love with you.
I move my hands to splay behind your ears,
drawing you closer to me as we continue our euphoric exploration.
We rest our lungs only when the need to breathe makes itself known,
but thankfully we never lose the much-needed contact as you rest your forehead against mine.
Your sweet breath tickles my cheek as you exhale heavily,
and I smile, elated.
"Good thing we're in your apartment, eh?"
I laugh and brush an errant strand of dark hair away from your dark but glittering eyes.
"Yeah" I answer you, drawing my thumb across your bottom lip, staring at your full, gorgeous lips.
Grinning wide, you kiss my thumb and murmur "Having fun?"
I don't reply,
instead wrapping my arm around your neck, crushing my kiss against your lips, replacing my thumb with my lips.
After we unlock our lips, I murmur in a surprised tone, "You taste so good. So…sweet, so…supple."
You raise a perfectly sculpted, dark eyebrow and grab my hand, leading me to the couch inside my living room.
You lay down, patting the leather beside you.
I lay down too, resting my head on your outstretched arm.
I bought this couch because it was leather. It reminded me of you. Of your leather jackets.
You start planting kisses on the side of my exposed neck. I tilt my head up, giving you better access.
You trail the kisses to my throat.
"Love you" you mumble as you kiss the hollow of my neck.
A soft, low moan escapes my lips as I tangle my fingers in your short dark hair, pulling you closer to my throbbing pulse. "Love you, too"
You thread your fingers through mine, gripping my free hand as you nip at my jaw.
You kiss my lips softly, needingly,
but I stopped you before you could take our love to the ultimate intimacy.
"Hold me instead?" I murmur, my voice losing all confidence in myself,
afraid I'll run you off with my 'innocent', jittery behaviour.
You look at me knowingly,
"This is your first time with a woman, isn't it?"
I avert my gaze, looking up at the ceiling.
A lone tear slides down my cheek and you softly kiss it away.
"Yeah. I'll understand if you don't want someone as inexperienced as me."
"I just want you" I hear your whisper flow into my ear, your hot breath softly caressing my cheek.
Suddenly my world is hazy,
my vision is turning blurry.
I bring a hand up to chase the sleepiness away from my tired eyes.
"C'mon love, fall asleep, I'll be here when you wake up" you whisper, promising me what no lover has ever promised me before.
Stability.
I lay my head on your chest and close my eyes, gently nuzzling my cheek against your tee-shirt clad breasts.
The last thing I feel is a blanket being draped over me, your head lying on top of mine and your arms wrapped around my body.
And I feel a hundred percent safe.
I open my eyes,
expecting a blinding brightness,
but is pleasantly surprised with a dull darkness.
I groan and push my face off of whatever I'm resting on.
Your eyes flutter open and you smile down at me.
"Good morning love"
Your warm, gentle voice, thick with sleep, floats into my head.
I close my eyes for a minute, savoring the sound of your voice, before opening them to peer up at you.
"Mornin'" I mumble in a voice laden with deep sleep, tilting my head up to lazily kiss your lips.
When we break our kiss I bite back a yawn.
I groan again and tuck the top of my head underneath your chin.
I can practically hear your smile.
"Not a morning person, I see" I hear your teasing laughter.
I feel the laughter settle in your throat and I smile, absent-mindedly nuzzling into your warmth.
"Who knew?" I grin.
"Who knew what?" you inquire.
"Who knew we could fall asleep in each other's arms without…" I trail off,
the tips of my ears burning with embarrassment at the very thought of making love to you.
You chuckle and nod your head, bringing a hand up to sift through my blonde hair.
I place a gentle kiss to your heart, nuzzling your chest affectionately.
"Go on a date with me?" you whisper;
I can feel your eyes watching me intently.
"Let me think about that…" I begin, a playful smirk playing at the corners of my lips as I look into your deep eyes.
"Hmph" you pout,
your bottom lip quivering professionally as you give me your big brown puppy dog eyes.
I softly kiss your pout away and giggle as your face lights up with a smile,
"Okay. When and where?" I ask.
"After work tonight good for you?"
"Yeah. Perfect. Time?"
"How about I pick you up at 8 'o clock for dinner?" you suggest,
your eyes pleading me to agree.
"Sure. Sounds great. Dress up or not?" I inquire, ineffectively hiding my excitement.
"Casual but nice"
I nod and bring my hand up to cup your cheek, my fingertips playing gently at your jaw.
I kiss the bridge of your nose softly.
"I'll be there"
So, how was it? It started out as a poem I wrote about a month ago, and I felt the need to write more. Incase you're wondering: aye, I wrote it in Alex's P.O.V, which is coincidentally mine as well.
"You want to know what happiness is? It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone's shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and involuntarily a grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this."
