Memos From the Broom Closet

DISCLAIMER: Even though we all know the entire world revolves around our dear Marauders, (minus that filthy Pettigrew scum) I still do not own them. One can only dream of such fantasies as wild as that. So excuse me while I do so.

Two pairs of eyes glinted in the dark. The softer of the two, colored a warm amber, blinked.

"What are we doing in here Sirius?"

The other pair, a bright charcoal, narrowed and swiveled toward the speaker.

"I've told you, Rem, THREE TIMES, we're hiding so we can jump out at Snivvelus, put a full Body-Bind curse on him, and send the bugger spinning head-first into Mcgonagal!"

"Devious. Just one flaw, though."

"And what, dear Moony, would THAT be?"

"HOW THE HECK ARE YOU GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL?!"

The usually calm, collected voice was up to a whisper-yell.

"I'll get to that later. Now HUSH! I hear someone."

Remus pressed his ear against the door. The sound of footsteps came clattering through the empty hall, ending with a thud at the closet door, causing the werewolf to jump back in surprise. Sirius' unseen hand grabbed on to Remus' shirt front, quite suddenly, and pulled him behind the slowly opening door beside him. The amber eyed clung to his friend in an unreasonable, and certainly unusual, panic attack as two twinkling blue eyes peered into the darkness.

"Am I... er... interrupting something here?"

Remus seemed to suddenly become aware that his arms were around Sirius' neck and his head against

the raven-haired boy's chest. The two looked at each other in horror and scrambled apart, brushing themselves off as if covered in a thick layer of dust.

"NO!" Remus said, blushing fiercely, "of course not!! Not at all, no... no."

"Then in that case, what are you doing and why am I not included?" James said, closing the door and tapping a metal plate on the wall with his wand, causing a light to flicker to life. Ignoring his friend's inquiry, Sirius pointed to the plate.

"So that's how you turn it on, then?" He said, brows furrowed as if this was an extremely puzzling concept.

James raised his own eyebrows, peering at his best friend over his glasses.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, it's not so bad, snogging in the dark, y'know, 'cause the girl can't really see what you're doing..."

Remus' stifled giggles echoed through the awkward silence as the other two grinned.

"That's our Sirius," James laughed.

The werewolf sprang up as if something had pricked him in the rear.

"Shh!" Remus said, "I hear someone coming!"

This time, the footsteps were sharp, measured, as if walking to a metrenome.

"Oh, crap," James muttered, "Mcgonagal."

Sirius thought fast. He jumped out of the closet, carrying a broom.

"Oh! Professor Mcgonagal! I was just... uh... fetching a broom! For... Mr. Filch! And... um... Remus and James here were...err... helping me! Yeah! That's it! Helping me find it!"

Mr. Filch, who was sweeping the hallway behind the strict professor, looked up at the mention of his name, uttering a gruff "hm?" in their direction.

"Nice try, boys," said professor Mcgonagal, grasping Sirius and James by the ears, "but you're coming with me.

Remus sighed, and, shaking his head, followed his friends' chourus of "Ow. Ow. Ow."s reluctantly up the stairs to Dumbledore's office for what would undoubtedly be their 5th detention that week.

HELLO THERE! I AM SPASSSSSSSSSSSssssstic!! Ya wanna press the button? Huh? HUH?! Isn't it SO PRETTY?! It would be better if it was BIG and SHINY! And OOOO! Maybe even RED! Wouldn't that be GREAT?! But WOW! You've got a chance to press a BUTTON! This is like, ONCE IN A LIFETIME, man! If I were you, I'd press it. Yes I would indeed. MMHMM!! breaks off into spontaneous, badly improvised, and horrendously off-key song about the many great uses of buttons

If I were you, I'd shut her up and press the dang button.