So, this is my first story on this site. I wanted to write a depressing amourshipping story, mostly because all the amourshipping stories that exist are usually very upbeat. The few that do have a depressing edge, well, let's not talk about those. My goal is to give you all a (moderately) well-written depressing amourshipping story. This first chapter may be a bit of a drag to get through, mostly because it's a lot of exposition and a lot of flashbacks, so it may get a bit confusing. (You should have seen the first draft, that shit was confusing as FUCK). I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope you'll enjoy all future updates!

Rated T for Language, Adult Themes, and Violence.

Without further ado...

Chapter 1

Night fell upon the great metropolis of Lumiose City, it's iconic Prism Tower shined like a beacon to the heavens, wrapped in a brilliant yellow glow. The stars delicately shimmered above, miraculously appearing over the cityscape despite the abundance of man-made light. The powerful radiance of the buildings flooded over all the surrounding area.

Lumiose was always awake, lights were always on somewhere in the gorgeous city. People were always walking on the streets below the high-rises, even at the most unusual hours. One of these people was a young honey-blonde girl, taking refuge from the urban clatter in a small secluded woodlands hidden behind the city's pokemon center.

She sat silently in the night, letting the moonlight bathe her mind. She couldn't wash out the stinging pain though. She kept returning to the same memory, her one attempt at a pokemon performance, one of her life's many failures. It had been a week but she still hadn't gotten over it, she felt as if she'd never recover.

It was the Coumarine City Pokemon Showcase. She was so excited for the performance, she felt anxiety as well, but she thought she could do it. The first round even seemed tailored to her, a dress-up round? This was her time to shine! She chose her Fennekin as her model of choice, she gave Fennekin a white frill with a long, flowing, pink silk ribbon adjoining the white frill. The girl then adorned her adorable little fox with a white hat, with a pink ribbon wrapped around its waist. After much anticipation, her delicate little fox could finally go on the runway. The crowd loved it at first, the outfit worked perfectly on the fire-type. Then, Fennekin clumsily fell to the ground. Her pokemon tripped over the pink ribbon she had given it. Just like that, she was the first to be eliminated.

She returned back to reality after reliving the painful memory yet again. She stared into the clear pond in the wooded area. The water gently rippled from the soft wind that tried desperately to soothe the girl's woes. She looked deep into her own reflection, illuminated by the moonlight. She looked at her hair, beginning to regret cutting it to shoulder length. She had cut it in a symbolic gesture, she was turning over a new leaf. She'd motivate herself with her failure, and go out there and win the next showcase.

She felt motivated for all of 2 days before succumbing back to her depressive state. She had been struggling for a while now. The first time she felt this kind of sadness was when she was 7, when she was forced to go to a summer camp in Pallet Town in the Kanto region. She had many friends in Kalos. She lived in Vaniville Town with her friends Calem, Shauna, Tierno and Trevor. Then her mother forced her to go to Professor Oak's Summer Camp. The girl to this day had no idea what her mother was thinking, but she wouldn't have changed a thing.

She met Ash there. Ash was the boy of her dreams. She had had a crush on him ever since they met that day. Ash was the kindest guy she'd ever met, he gave her hope, he gave her a reason to enjoy life.

She had wandered into the woods completely lost. She was following all the other kids, but she had looked away for one second and they were all gone, they all abandoned her. She had no idea where she was, and she had no idea how to get back to the campground. She aimlessly entered a small clearing in the woods. It was broad daylight, but she still saw shadows all around, mocking her. The trees seemed to collapse in on her, she could already hear the sounds of a predator coming to swallow her whole...

"Where is everybody? Where did you all go?" Her pleas for help were halted by rustling in a stray bush, she instantly fell to the ground, directly onto her knees. She looked back to the bush, about to give in to the temptation to cry out. Her eyes silently pleaded for mercy from whatever was about to kill her.

Then a Poliwag jumped out of the bush and ran off without looking at her. Now, she was lost, alone, injured and humiliated by the fact that it was a Poliwag that had caused this.

"I knew I didn't want to come to camp! I knew it! Mommy!" She cried out, that was all she could do, she was completely helpless. Then, more rustling from the bushes. This time she lost the fight, she sobbed hysterically, she closed her eyes preparing for her death. Hopefully she'd be ripped to shreds instantly, instead of gruesomely mauled and left to bleed out in the woods, only to be found weeks later.

"Poliwag?" A young boy called out. He emerged from the bush and instantly saw a small girl, cowering in fear in front of the tree.

"Hey, are you alright?" The boy worriedly asked. She looked up at the raven-haired boy. He was wearing a yellow tank top with a red diagonal stripe going down the middle and rolled-up jean shorts, along with red sneakers.

"Hi, I'm Ash! Who are you?" He asked with a smile. The girl was still afraid, but she was relieved to see someone else in the woods.

"What's wrong?" Ash seemed to not care that she hadn't answered him. He was more concerned with her safety than knowing her name. He'd always go out of his way to help people, just from the kindness of his heart.

"I-I h-hurt my leg." She managed to stammer out.

"Don't worry. See this?" He pulled out a blue handkerchief with a small poke ball etched on the bottom corner. She was confused as to what he was going to do.

"This will make it better!" He approached her, and tenderly wrapped the cloth around her scraped knee. He fastened it into a tight tourniquet and tried to look her directly in the eyes to comfort her, she didn't return the gaze though.

"All done!" Ash jovially said.

"Oh!" Serena happily exclaimed. Had she finally found a friend at this forsaken camp?

"Now, watch this!" Serena once again found herself both confused and enamored by this boy. What else could he possibly do to help her?

"Feel better, feel better right away!" The boy said as he flamboyantly waved his arms above her injured knee. Serena giggled a bit but was cut off by a searing pain in her knee,

"Ash! It still hurts! I can't stand up!" Serena cried out. Ash then looked at her triumphantly.

"Don't give up 'till it's over. Okay? Come on!" He then extended his hand to help her up, she mirrored his gesture and was promptly forced onto her feet. Ash was bit too forceful however, and launched Serena straight into him. She was practically forced into an embrace but she still blushed nonetheless. Ash released her and looked at her straight in her cerulean eyes.

"There you go!" Ash immediately giggled grabbed her arm and pointed towards where he had came.

"I think we should get back to the campsite. Okay? Come on." He gently lead her by the hand towards the camp, she felt herself blush again. They then began their journey back to the main area and made small talk as they made it back to the site.

Of course, eventually the camp ended, and she was forced to leave her new friend. When she returned to Kalos all her friends waited at her house for her, a surprise get together. She pushed her way through Tierno and melodramatically walked upstairs to her room. The group of friends all looked at each other awkwardly and debated about what to do, Tierno however, was standing still smitten by the fact that Serena had touched him. Serena reached her room, slammed the door then locked it. She couldn't handle him being gone, she couldn't handle losing her best friend. After the encounter in the woods, they had became inseparable, eating together, playing together. She dreaded the day she'd have to leave because she knew she'd never see him again. Never.

He was gone. He was gone. He was gone. She'd never get to go to Pallet Town again. She'd never get any opportunity to see her dream boy again. Serena jumped onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow, and began to cry. Softly at first, but then her tears escaped her ducts with frightening ferocity.

Meanwhile, her group of friends had gathered outside her locked door, and pleaded for her to open up.

"Serena, please! You're never like this! Please let us in!" Shauna desperately requested.

"Serena, let us in. We want to help, you're not being like yourself." Calem calmly asked.

The group gave up after 20 minutes of one-sided conversation, they gave up trying to get in themselves. Instead they got Serena's mom to do so. Serena shut her out too. She shut everyone out. Even after being threatened with punishment she refused to leave her room. She stayed in her room.

She finally emerged two days later, she walked downstairs during her mother's lonely dinner.

"Serena! I demand to know, what's wrong?" Her mom pleaded. Serena only stared back at her mother with a tearful look in her eyes. She'd never understand her, her mom would tell her to get over him. Her mother didn't understand, Ash was her absolute best friend, she'd never realized how sweet a friendship could be until Ash entered her life.

"Serena! Please! Please!" Her mother tearfully demanded. Serena looked away from her mother, and down towards her food. She focused only on eating, she ignored her mother's demands. She finished her meal, took her dish to the kitchen, then fled back to her room without a word.

Eventually, she began to only leave her room to eat, then she would immediately run back to her room, lock the door, and sleep. Serena did this for a full year. She ignored her friends, she ignored her mother. Then her friends gave up. They began to believe she was a lost cause. Tierno left, Trevor left, Shauna left, and even Calem, who had been a brother to her for the entirety of her short life, left her.

Eventually Serena's mom, Grace, got fed up with Serena's moping. She began to force Serena out of bed with a barrage of Fletchling pecks, then made her take up Rhyhorn racing. Grace had been a world championship winning Rhyhorn racer in her prime, and had always wanted to train her daughter to be a star Rhyhorn racer like she had been. She thought training Serena during her daughter's depressed state would help her, maybe a hobby would do some good for her. Rhyhorn racing only made it worse, she had constant pain from the taxing sport.

She constantly fell off, and even when she did stay on, the roughness of the Rhyhorn's movements made it so that Serena's body would constantly slam against it's coarse rock body as it monotonously galloped. This was true hell. No friends, an overbearing mother, and forced to do something that she hated.

She suffered through this for 7 years, until Serena was watching the news one day, and saw a breaking news story happening in Lumiose City. A Garchomp was rampaging on Prism Tower, and a brave 16 year old was trying to calm it down. The news called him brave, but Serena called him naive, she didn't feel like seeing a guy die on live T.V, so she reached for the remote. Then, before she could change the channel, the trainer jumped off the tower, Serena screamed in horror. She closed her eyes, after a couple seconds she reluctantly opened them only to be met with a close up shot of the boy she had met all those years ago at the summer camp.

It was him. It was Ash. Ash was in Kalos! Ash was in Lumiose City! She could reach him! She quickly told her mom that she was leaving for Lumiose to get her first pokemon. Grace was surprised by Serena's child-like glee. Grace felt the purest elation she had felt in years, her daughter hadn't smiled in so long. Before she could say anything Serena quickly sprinted up to her room. She rushed upstairs to see Serena eagerly packing her bag.

"Hey, sweetie? What's going on?" She was happy to see her daughter smiling, but she still wondered what the hell had happened. This was quite the sudden outburst of emotion.

"I'm going on a journey mom!" Serena excitedly screamed, then she squeezed by her mother in the doorway and sprinted north. Grace was quickly overcome by sadness, she was ecstatic that Serena was happy now, but she had only gotten to see so little of it. Her sadness was quickly replaced by joy. Her daughter would be happier now. She had to be.

Serena made it to Lumiose City in record time. She needed a pokemon if she wanted to go find Ash, so she had to go to Professor Sycamore's lab. She then realized that Ash must have visited the lab at some point, shivers traveled down her spine. One step close to reuniting with her best friend. She quickly tracked down Professor Sycamore's lab and entered excitedly. She violently threw the door opening, startling the black-haired boy who stood before her.

"Wow. You must be the most eager person I've ever seen in this lab. Even more so then the raven-haired boy who was here earlier." The black haired boy remarked to her.

"Wait, a raven-haired guy was here earlier?" She frantically replied.

"Yeah, he's probably in Santalune City by now. I'll go get the professor and tell him you're here, you must be real anxious to start your journey." The boy walked into the back to retrieve the professor.

"Thank you!" Serena called after him. After what felt like forever the black haired boy returned with a tall black-haired man who easily could've been the guy in 20 years. Their wardrobes were even the same, lab coats, long gray pants, the only difference was the color of collared shirts, the guy had an orange one while the man had a dark violet one.

"Greetings! You must be the trainer Alain told me about!" The man said with a smile.

"Yes professor I am. My name is Serena." The honey-blonde replied, she had already been nervous walking in, but now that she was face to face with the professor she felt overwhelmed.

"No need to be nervous Serena! Follow me!" The professor proclaimed. She did as she was told and followed him to a back room, where he handed her a pokedex and poke balls and started lecturing her about the pokedex. She was instantly bored and wished for nothing more than for him to stop talking. The professor ended his lecture and looked over to his assistant.

"Alain, bring the starters here please."

"Will do professor!" The black-haired boy ran off to go get the pokemon. Serena then remembered the question she already asked, Alain had already practically confirmed that Ash had been there earlier, but she wanted to know for sure.

"Excuse me professor?" Serena shyly asked.

"You have a question I presume?" The professor said,

"Um. Yes I do actually. Has a trainer named Ash been here recently?"

"Yes actually! Although I'm afraid you've missed him. He's probably in Santalune City right now." Serena thanked the professor for the information and jotted a mental note down. Okay, Santalune City! That's where he is! Alain finally returned with the poke balls and handed them to the professor.

"Thank you Alain." The professor then turned to face the aspiring trainer before him.

"These poke balls you see before you are occupied by pokemon. I assume I don't have to give you the spiel about the pokemon inside and how we're friends and pokemon and all that shit right? You seem a lot older than the rest of the kids I get in here." Alain looked at his professor with shocked eyes, he had never heard Sycamore curse before, and especially not in front of a rookie like Serena.

"Yeah, I'm actually 15." Serena said nervously.

"That's quite late to be starting your journey, but I won't ask any further. The first pokemon…" He released a small brown rodent like creature with green spikes on its head.

"is Chespin. The grass-type." Serena pulled out her pokedex and scanned the pokemon.

"Chespin, the Spiny Nut Pokémon. Chespin can flex the soft spikes on its head, making them so stiff and sharp that it can even pierce through stone." Before Serena could say anything the professor looked at her,

"Just warning you now, this Chespin has quite the appetite. He's also a little thief." The professor had glared at Chespin as he said the last part. The grass-type glumly looked down, before Serena could dwell on this a bright light occurred next to the Spiny Nut Pokemon. The light morphed into a small, yellow fox with bright fire like tufts of fur coming out of its giant ears.

"This is Fennekin, the fire-type, she's definitely the most tame of the three." Serena instantly knew this would be the pokemon she chose. She picked her up and squeezed her tightly.

"Aren't you just the cutest thing!" Serena squealed. The professor smiled at this sight.

"Would it be safe to assume you just found your new companion?" The professor asked, immediately chuckling afterwards.

"I think so." The professor nodded and handed Serena the poke ball Fennekin belonged to.

"Good luck Serena! I hope you do great things, and I hope you find Ash."

"Will do Professor! Bye!" She waved to the professor and his assistant with Fennekin still straddled in her left arm. She set the fox pokemon down and returned Fennekin to her ball. She rushed out of the lab and immediately left for Santalune City.

She finally arrived in Santalune City, with her new pal Fennekin in a poke ball in her bag. She figured Ash was at the gym and was relieved to see him battling against the gym leader. She began to approach him, but then she realized he was in the middle of a battle and stopped dead in her tracks. A tall brown-haired woman noticed this and approached the teenager.

"Hey there, are you here to challenge the gym?" The woman curiously asked.

"Uhh… no. I'm here to wait for someone." Serena flatly replied.

"I'm guessing it's Ash you're waiting for?" The woman said with a knowing smile.

"Um. Yes it is actually." She shyly said.

"Why don't you come watch the battle with us then? I'm Alexa!" The woman jovially said.

"I'm Serena." The teen said. Alexa lead her to the viewing platform where she sat on the left side of her new acquaintance. To the right was a lemon-haired teenager with swirly glasses, a blue jumpsuit on and a weird looking backpack on him, sitting directly to the right of him was a small lemon-haired girl with a brown shirt and a flamboyant white frilled skirt. The girl noticed the newcomer and immediately grabbed Serena's hand.

"Wow! You're so pretty! Won't you take care of my brother?" Serena was shocked by this request, she didn't know whether to be flattered or creeped out. Probably both?

"Bonnie! How many times have I told you not to do that!" The guy with glasses exasperatedly said.

"But Clemont! How else are you ever going to get married?" The girl sadly replied,

"Bonnie, I'm 18! It's way too early to think of that kind of thing!"

"For you, it's never early enough!" Clemont then looked to the still shocked honey-blonde girl.

"Sorry for my sister. She annoys almost every girl we meet like that."

"No, it's fine. Anyway, my name is Serena, I suppose your Clemont?" Serena replied,

"Yes, you would be correct, and the pest is my sister Bonnie." He replied jokingly.

"Hey!" Bonnie responded, offended by the "pest" comment.

"Enough Bonnie. Watch the battle! We've probably missed tons because of this exchange." The three returned their focus to the battlefield. An obviously winded Fletchling was facing off against a far better off Vivillon.

"Alright Vivillon! Release your solarbeam now!" A sandy-blonde woman called out.

"Fletchling! Try to dodge!" The teenager opposite of her called out. The small bird tried to glide out of the way, but the solarbeam hit dead on, knocking it out.

"The challenger's Fletchling is unable to battle! This means the gym leader Viola is the winner!" The boy who she recognized as Ash looked down in defeat, he then called the gym leader's name and asked for a rematch later, she accepted it, then he ran out of the gym. Alexa, Bonnie and Clemont ran off after him. Serena noticed a backpack left behind. It must be Ash's! Serena thought. She took the bag and ran off to the pokemon center, where he'd presumably be. She walked in and noticed a raven-haired boy hand some poke balls to Nurse Joy. There he is! She then walked over to him, and tapped him on the shoulder. The trainer turned around to face the honey-blonde trainer, holding up his backpack.

"I believe this is yours?" Serena asked.

"Oh yeah it is! Thanks for bringing it to me!" The boy exclaimed.

"It was no problem, I saw you left it behind and figured I'd bring it to you."

"Thank you so much!" The boy looked at the girl again. She seemed familiar, but he couldn't quite place where he knew her from.

"Say, you look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before?" The raven-haired trainer asked.

"Well, maybe this will jog your memory." Serena reached into her own bag and pulled out a handkerchief. The same one he had given her 8 years prior.

"Remember me now?" She asked slyly.

"Hey, I remember this handkerchief! How'd you get it?" He asked quizzically. She was devastated, but she didn't give up. She knew he remembered her! She'd just have to remind him even further. She divulged the story of how they met, telling the story with remarkable accuracy, the entire time a desperate look was glued onto her face. What if he didn't remember her at all? No, no he did! He said she looked familiar, he had to! Serena finished her story and looked at Ash expectantly. His eyes sparkled, and his mouth curved upwards as he realized where she was from.

"Wait! I do remember you! The girl with the straw hat!" Serena was assuaged a bit, but she still desperately wanted more. He had to remember her name right?

"Serena! How could I have forgotten you! That is still the most fun summer of my entire life!" Serena's eyes finally matched the jubilant luster of Ash's. The two lemon-haired siblings accompanying Ash looked at this exchange in awe. Bonnie then turned to Clemont.

"I need to find you a girl like Serena, Clemont! Say, did you attend any summer camps when you were a small child? Maybe meet any pretty girls?" Clemont glared at his little sister through his dirty, swirly glasses. Ash then spoke up, he desperately wanted her to stay with him. They had so much to catch up on! It had been 8 years since they had met, he was 16 now. His mystical best friend he had made all those years ago had returned to him. He knew what he had to do. He couldn't let her slip away again.

"Say, Serena. Would you like to join Bonnie, Clemont and I?" Ash nervously asked, as soon as he said it he regretted it. Sure, they had been best friends almost a decade prior, but they hadn't spoken in years, of course she'd say no!

"Of course I will!" Serena was the happiest she'd ever been. After 8 years of dull, lifeless monotony, 8 years of severe depression, she'd finally found a reason to be happy. Ash was shocked by her answer and smiled widely. The two spent the rest of the day catching up, telling each other of their lives since the camp. Ash's life had been so eventful and exciting, the more he spoke the more inferior she realized she was. No, no no no! I can't let those thoughts seep back into my life… This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. Why am I sad? Why? She thought. Even when reunited with her old friend, she still couldn't be happy. She looked back at the past 8 years, and felt like she wasted every moment. The more Ash spoke, the more she realized how woefully unprepared she was. She had no goal, she had no interest. She was useless, she was just a burden to the group. The happiest day of her life quickly became the saddest as Serena slowly slipped back into her depression. She couldn't turn back now, she had no choice. She had to keep going.

Serena slipped back to reality once again. She had now been sat at the pond reminiscing for what must have been hours by now. The wind picked up, and the serene cacophony of city noise slowly subsided. She now felt truly alone. All she had to accompany her were her thoughts, and they were mercilessly abusing her. She picked up a twig that was sitting on the cold, desolate grass and idly stroked the water surface. She looked into her reflection, her eyes began to sting with tears. She was nothing. She hated looking at the reflection, she was looking at a reflection of a failure. A pathetic waste of space. Her steady stream of salty tears quickly evolved into a volcano of torrential sobbing. She looked back to the reflection. She was a captive of her own mind, subconsciously subjecting herself to her mental anguish again and again and again.. She looked into the mirror-like water again. Tears stained her face, she then looked down to her clothes. Her bright red waistcoat was damp, flooded by the violent shower of tears. Her pink sleeveless skirted vest was also damp with tears. Her boots and black knee high socks seemed to have been spared from the downpour of depression.

She felt completely hopeless. She felt completely lost. She got up and looked around, nothing but darkness. She began to make her way back to her room, as she walked inside the pokemon center she looked at the clock on the wall. 1:34 A.M. She saw the time and had to desperately fight the urge not to cry. She had been out until 1:34 A.M yet neither Ash, nor Bonnie nor Clemont went out to make sure she was okay. This only confirmed her hypothesis. She was a burden who they wanted gone. She made her way back to her room, and jiggled the door knob, thankfully the door was still unlocked. She walked in silently, she was sharing a room with Bonnie and didn't want to wake her at such a time. She didn't even bother changing clothes, she just removed her boots, and haphazardly threw her covers over herself. She welcomed the embrace of sleep, her only solace from the waking nightmare she found herself in.

"Tomorrow is another day." She mumbled to herself, then she closed her eyes, and fell asleep.