DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything Harry Potter. Phaedra, who makes a quick appearance, however, I do own. No copy right infringement intended.
A/N: This is a response to Pinky Green's wedding challenge. It was originally a oneshot about just Narcissa's wedding, but that changed.
Yesterday I walked down the aisle. Yesterday I was the most beautiful bride. Yesterday everyone's eyes were on me as I make a most desirable match, as I kissed the man of my dreams. Yesterday, I became Narcissa Malfoy. I'm no longer Cissy, the little girl that got pushed around by Bellatrix and that scum of a sister, Andromeda. Nor am I Cissa, the great Slytherin Beauty. Yesterday I became Narcissa, every bit as radiant as an angel, every bit of me pure perfection. I stood there, clad in white silk, satin and lace, red roses clutched in my pale hands. My bridesmaids anxiously helped my mother to finish my hair, letting a few curled tresses frame my face. They brushed pink blush across my cheeks and red gloss over my lips.
They cooed, praising my beauty, and scolded me when they saw the single tear fall from my lashes. I was sure I wanted to go through with this, I just wasn't sure if I was ready to leave behind myself. I was about to leave everything I had lived for the past eighteen years. It couldn't be just two simple words and I'm no longer the girl I was, could it? How much affect do the words 'I do' really have? Would I change, will Cissy be no more?
I itched to ask my mother these questions but as I opened my mouth she shot me a stern look and ushered my father into the bridal room. He took my arm, and nodded at my mother, who left. My bridesmaids stood behind me as the wedding march began to play. "Cissa, darling, I'm so proud of you. This is going to be one of the happiest days of your life," He whispered in my ear.
A step, a pause, a smile. This was well rehearsed. I could feel all eyes on me, not a single person gazed away. What could I say; I always knew I was captivating. But what's more, he was gorgeous, standing at the altar, awaiting me. I could read the look in his eyes. My cheeks reddened slightly as I saw his love, his desire. The seconds dragged out to feel like centuries. Despite my earlier confusion, I knew there was nothing I could ever want more than this.
The second I said 'I do', my heart flew. My eyes widened slightly as the officiator spoke, giving the last line, 'You may kiss the bride,' For the first second when Lucius' lips were on mine, my heart fluttered nervously, unsure, but before I knew it, my hands were tangled in his hair, and my lips moved in synch to his. He pulled away and whispered in my ear, "You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." A smile worked its way on to my lips, and I knew my father was right. So far, this was the happiest day of my life.
Yesterday I was innocent, naïve, yesterday I was impressionable. Yesterday I for the first time experienced true bliss. Yesterday.
Nearly twenty years after my wedding day, my son became the groom, little Astoria, the bride. I laugh hollowly when I realise how I still think them little. I close my eyes and still see them toddling around, lisping and playing. Today, I gain a daughter, something I've always wanted. I look on, watching Astoria make her entrance. She is nice looking, but not properly preportioned. Her eyes too wide, her mouth too full, hair too dark. She looks not the way I'd wish my daughter to look. Today, I do not chose. "I hope the children take after Draco," I hear Lucius mutter beside me, and it feels as if he read my mind.
Today I am not as beautiful as I was then. I have lines around my eyes, crow feet. My blond hair is turning gray. I'm no longer eighteen. Today, someone else gains the happiness I gained twenty years ago. While the officiater rambles off the service, I take a look back at my marriage. I see that it has been rocky, there were times I wished I didn't say 'I do', but I know that I did right. Just like I can see in Astoria's eyes that she is doing right by marrying Draco.
I look up at her, and I see a shadow of myself in the way she looks at Draco, so lovesick and innocent. I was like that. It is not the service, the tying of my son to this girl that brings tears to my eyes. It is that this is my wedding day, played back to me. I grasp wildly for Lucius' hand, he clutchs mine looking at me with concern. I breath in, unsure if I can watch the 'I do', if I can hear it. I know that I can not walk out on my son's wedding day, but everything brings back such powerful memories, good ones, not the bad. I sniff lightly and hold my head up proud, like a Black is taught to do. Be proud no matter what. How that sentence had shaped my existence! My eyes close slightly as Draco kisses her as his bride for the first time. My mouth forms the word 'today'.
Today, my life changes. Today, I give up my son, I gain a daughter. Today, my life is different. Today.
Tomorrow I will watch my darling grandson, my Scorpius, be wed. Tomorrow, I will see yet another wedding. Life is full of them, weddings. Funerals too, but you don't see much attention about them. Everyone thinks it's wonderful, a wedding. No one really sees it for what it is. No one sees that it is just a ploy to take our babies away from us. I didn't cope well with losing Draco, and I know that this might not be any different.
Tomorrow, I will sit in the pew, with my husband, with Draco and Astoria, and watch Scorpius grow up. There will be no more running to 'Grandmumsy', when he feels he is being treated unfairly, no more pleas to stay up late. No more letters from Hogwarts, no more tales of his boyhood adventures. I'm getting old. Tomorrow, I will be stooped and wrinkled, my blond hair white. I have aged well, though I will keep only traces of my beauty.
Scorpius will wed the girl down the street, Phaedra. She's a little beauty. Small, delicate and blond. He is Draco all over again, perhaps that is why I am so reluctant to let him go. I wish to hold him to my breast, pepper him with kisses, smother him with grandmotherly affection. Tomorrow, I will lose him.
I will watch him and her, watch them and their happiness. My misery will be thought merely thought that I am dull, that my mind is going. No one will think that she is a woman that never wants to let go, it's the same thing really. I hate letting go of my darlings. I wish that I could protect them forever. I would put my life down on the line for any of them, and I hope they know it.
But until tomorrow, I will bask in the love my grandson gives me. I will be myself, and fear not much for what happens tomorrow.
Tomorrow, my heart will break. Tomorrow.
A/N: Reviews are the only type of payemnt I recieve for my work. I would appreciate if you left one to tell me what you thought of my story. Tell me what your favorite part was!
