Title: Blood of Me

Author: Courtney

Email: MsDawCreek@aol.com

Rating: R

Summary: After finding out that she's not who she thought she was, Tess Anderson sets out on a cross-country journey towards the past she never knew she had.

Disclaimer: I own them. Please send money.

Distribution: If you post my fics already then yes. If you don't and you want to then just ask.

Thanks: First and foremost to Candy and Court, who listened to my whole drawn out description of this story with rapt attention as always and gave me their respected opinions. I don't know how you guys put up with me dear hearts, but I'm sure glad that you do! Also, the RAC chicks, who write such GREAT fic and who always do me the honor of reading my fic and giving me feedback. And a special mention to bec, whose fic Bird in A Gilded Cage inspired me to want to write something different. You are all amazing and I don't know where me and my obsession would be without you! :-)

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Part 3

I know too many people unhappy In a life from which they'd love to flee, Watching others get every offer, They're wanton for discovery. Oh my brother My sister My mother You're loosing your identity. Can't you see that it's you in the window Shining with intensity . . .

--Circle by Sarah McLachlan

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"Is this the place?" Carter asked as he looked up at the large office building they were parked in front of. It was at least ten stories tall and, while not huge by the standards of most cities, it was one of the tallest buildings on the Albuquerque skyline.

"Yep, 1013 West Street, this is it," Tess replied. She stayed planted in her seat, waiting on Carter to make the first move.

"Are you ready, Tessie?" he asked.

She didn't look at him, just kept her eyes on the building looming ahead of them. But, he saw her nod almost imperceptibly. "Ready as I'll ever be," she said softly.

"We don't have to go in if you aren't ready," he offered. "We can . . . we can have a look around the city, find a place to stay, then come back in the morning. No big deal . . ."

"No, we have to go in. We've come this far . . . we have to," she said determinedly.

He nodded. She was scared, but she was insistent. There was no talking Tess out of something when she set her mind to it. "Okay then," Carter said as he got out of the Jeep and came around to her side. He opened the door and looked at her. She nodded and got out as well.

"Alright," she said as she clutched his hand for support. She looked at her best friend and said, "Let's do this," and then she walked with him into the building . . . hoping that it held the answers she so desperately sought.

* * * * *

"Can I help you?" asked the woman at the desk as they approached. They were on the third floor, room 319. This had to be the right place.

"We'd like to see Ms. Heath, please," Tess spoke up. Carter remained silent at her side.

"I'm sorry," the woman, obviously a secretary, replied. "Ms. Heath sees people by appointment only and--"

"We have an appointment," Tess interrupted.

"You do?" the woman asked skeptically.

"Yes, we do," she replied, up for the challenge held in the woman's eyes.

She glared back at the girl and asked, "And your name would be?"

"Dana Marlowe," she said confidently. "Sorry we're a bit early, but my husband's schedule being what it is . . ." she reached down and clutched Carter's hand. He remained quiet, shocked by the stream of untruths coming forth from his friend . . . and even more shocked that this woman seemed to believe them.

She looked down and checked the appointment book, then looked up. Her face was filled with contrition. "Please, accept my apologies Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe. I'll inform Ms. Heath that you've arrived. I'm sure that she can fit you in early." The woman got up from her desk and disappeared inside the office behind her.

Carter looked at Tess in astonishment. "Tessie, how did you know . . .?"

"Lucky guess," she replied. He just kept staring, knowing that could not be so.

"Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe, Ms. Heath will see you now," the secretary said from the doorway. She stood back as they passed, then pulled the door shut behind her. Tess and Carter stood in the spacious office in front of a large, wooden desk. A woman, who looked to be in her late fifties, stood before them.

"Please, have a seat," she said with a smile as she waved to the empty chairs that sat in front of the desk. Tess nodded and they both sat down. "So, you're looking to adopt," she woman began with a smile.

Tess was quick to cut her off. "We aren't here about that."

Ms. Heath looked perplexed. "I'm not sure I understand. What exactly are you trying to say, Ms. Marlowe?"

"I'm not Mrs. Marlowe. My name is Tess Anderson and I came here to speak with you about my parents. I'm sorry that I lied about--"

"No," the woman said as she held up a hand and got up from the desk quickly. "I'm sorry, but you will have to leave. You don't belong here."

Tess and Carter both got to their feet quickly but didn't turn for the door. "Please ma'am, this is very important," Tess pleaded.

"Young lady, do you realize how many people I have heard that from in my career? I've been at this job for over thirty years. You are not the first, nor will you be the last, I'm sure, to come to me wanting answers about their biological parents." The woman's face softened a bit as she said, "I'm very sorry, but those are answers that I just cannot give you."

"But, you don't understand," Tess said quickly. "I have to find my parents. It's very important."

"Even if that were possible, which it's not, it would still be nearly impossible to tell you much. We don't keep very in-depth records on birth parents. Most of them are not very forthcoming anyway so we only keep the small bit of information that the state requires."

"Anything would help me. Please," Tess begged.

Ms. Heath shook her head, but the look on her face showed that her resolve was weakening. "It's against policy," she told them.

"We'll be very discreet. No one will ever know that I came to see you, Ms. Heath, I swear it."

She looked at the girl and then to her companion with a weary gaze. She knew she shouldn't help them, but something about the girl made her think she needed to. There was something familiar about her . . . something in her eyes.

"Okay, I'll see what I can find for you," she said finally. Tess grinned. "Thank you so much, you have no idea how important this is to me."

"Now, don't get your hopes up, young lady. I'm not sure how much there will be to find," she warned. Tess nodded. "Okay, what's your date of birth?"

"November 21, 2000," she replied.

The woman nodded and walked over to the file cabinets that lined one wall of the office. She opened one of the drawers and started thumbing through the files. "Do you know the name on your birth records?" she asked.

"Teresa Marie McKenzie," she said. Ms. Heath nodded and kept thumbing through the files until she finally found the one she was looking for.

"Here we are," she said as she pulled the folder from the cabinet. Tess saw her birth name in the top corner and held her breath. She watched as Ms. Heath carried the folder back to her desk and Carter pulled her along to the seats they had been in before. They sat before the desk and waited as Ms. Heath read over the file.

"Well?" Tess asked anxiously.

"It says here that your mother's name was Anna McKenzie. She was 17 when you were born. She'd lived in Albuquerque for six months prior to your birth and one month after. She gave you up for adoption when you were a month old and we lost track of her after that. All I have is her former address here in town." She scribbled the address down onto a slip of paper and handed it to the girl.

Tess took it with a nod of thanks. "Is that all? Isn't there anything else? Do you know where she was from? Or what my father's name is? Anything at all?"

"I'm afraid not," the woman replied. "She came here alone from what these records state and no father was listed on your birth certificate. I told you that these records would not be of much help. I'm sorry."

Nodding, Tess got up. "I appreciate your help, Ms. Heath. At least now I know her first name and her old address." She reached out to shake the woman's hand, then turned to Carter and nodded towards the door.

"Miss Anderson, wait," the older woman said before the two could reach the office door. "There is one other thing," she said. Tess turned back expectantly. "I'm not sure this will help, really, but I do remember your mother," the woman said.

"You do?" Tess asked, her eyes wide with new hope.

"She left a very . . . strong impression," Ms. Heath finally said.

"What did she look like? What can you tell me about her?" the young girl asked quickly.

"She had long, dark hair . . . very pretty, as I recall. And there was something about her . . . something I couldn't quite place." Ms. Heath looked straight into Tess's eyes and said, "You remind me of her, actually. There's just something I can't put my finger on . . ."

"I remind you of her?" Tess said with a small smile.

Ms. Heath nodded and smiled softly in return. "Yes, very much so."

"Thank you, Ms. Heath, thank you so much," Tess said with a smile.

"I hope this helps you, dear. Good luck." Tess nodded and Carter reached down to grab her hand. They waved goodbye to the woman, then walked together out of the office, past the secretary, and to the elevators. Once they were alone inside the elevator, Carter turned to her.

"How did you know what name to tell that woman?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. I just . . . knew."

"You know, the information she gave us won't give us much. It's still going to be nearly impossible to find this woman, Tessie." He hated to dash her hopes, but he also didn't want her to set herself up for more heartache. Their chances of finding this Anna McKenzie were slim at best. And then, even if they did find her, what was to say that she wanted to be found?

"This is important, Carter. Finding her may be the only way I can figure out . . ." she trailed off without finishing her thought.

"Figure out what, Tessie? What is it that you think your real mother and father can tell you? Why is it so important for you to find them anyway?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Not now, okay? I'll tell you everything as soon as I know what's going on, but right now I just . . . I can't, okay?"

He looked at his best friend and nodded slowly. It hurt to be shut out by her, by the only person he'd ever felt like he could truly trust. Now even she was hiding her true self from him and it felt like a knife to the heart. But if this was what she wanted then this was how it would be. He'd just have to understand.

"As soon as I find out something I promise to tell you everything," she said. He nodded, but it was too late for her to avoid hurting him. "I'm sorry, Carter," she said softly. He didn't respond. They walked out of the building in silence, neither speaking again until they got into the car.

"So, where are we going?" he finally asked.

"Um . . . I guess to this address," she said as she handed him the slip of paper that Ms. Heath had given her.

"See if you can find it on the map," he said.

"I think I know where it is," she said.

"You know . . . but how?" he asked in surprise.

"I'm not sure, I just have a feeling," she said. He didn't question her anymore, knowing that he'd be met with the same tightlipped response as before and not wanting to hear her avoidance of his questions yet again. So, instead, he just let her lead the way.

* * * * *

"I don't think anyone is home," Carter said as they stood at the front door of the manager's office of the apartment that Ms. Heath had given them the address to.

"It says office hours are 9-5," she pointed out. "It's only 4:30."

He opened his mouth to reply, but stopped when the door in front of them swung open and a woman stood before them. "Can I help you?" she asked. She looked irritated at their interruption. Behind her, they could see a television was playing some soap opera and the apartment looked empty aside from her. Her graying hair was in rollers and held to her head with a pale pink hairnet. She held a cigarette in her hand and brought it to her lips for a long drag.

"We . . . um . . . we'd like to ask you a few questions about a former tenant if we could?" Tess asked tentatively.

"How former are we talking? Is this about something illegal? Cause I ain't got nothing to do with nothing illegal. I just collect the rent, that's it."

"No, no, nothing like that, really," Carter assured her. "We just need to find someone and we were told that she used to live here."

The woman nodded. "Okay, well you got a name or something? When did she live here?" She looked behind her at the television and was apparently interested in what was going on. "You two come in, I can't miss this. You'll hafta wait till Samantha tells Larry that she's carrying Bobby's baby."

Carter looked skeptically at his best friend, but followed her inside the tiny apartment and sat next to her on the couch. The older woman sat in a chair across from the TV and kept her eyes glued to the screen. After a few minutes, another commercial break came on and she turned back to her two visitors.

"Okay, you have two minutes," she told them.

"Um . . . well, the woman we're looking for lived here from about May to November of 2000," Tess said.

"Nineteen years ago? And you expect me to remember?" the woman said.

"Well, I was hoping . . . were you here then?" Tess asked.

"Yeah, I was here but hell, you know how many people come and go in this place? Damn, it's impossible for me to remember the ones who lived here last week, much less nineteen years ago," she said dryly.

Tess looked disappointed, but added, "Her name was Anna McKenzie. Does that jog your memory at all? She was about 17 years old, long, dark hair . . ."

"Pregnant," the woman said suddenly.

"Yes! That's her," Tess said excitedly. "So you do remember?"

"Hard to forget," the woman said. "She had the kid in this building. Strangest thing, she just refused to go to the hospital. So, her boyfriend comes running down here begging me to come help them--"

"Her boyfriend?" Tess asked.

"Yeah, cute little fella . . . about her age. Had dark hair, dark eyes . . . there was something weird about him, though. Something in his eyes . . ."

Tess glanced at Carter. Those were almost exactly the words that Ms. Heath had used. Something was definitely going on, but the closer they got the less this all surprised Tess.

"It was you, wasn't it?" the woman asked.

"Me?" Tess questioned.

"The baby, it was you," she said.

"Oh, yes, it was," she confirmed.

The woman nodded. "I thought so. You've got that same look. Name's Doris, Doris Gorman. It's good to see you grew up okay," she said with a faint hint of a smile. "You're name is Tessa, right?"

"Tess," she replied.

Doris nodded again. "She called you Tessa. She thought the world of you."

Tess felt her hands go numb and tears filled her eyes. The way that Doris and Ms. Heath described this woman who had been her mother, she found it hard to comprehend why she'd given her away. She seemed to love her, to want her so much . . . why then?

"Do you know where she went after she left here?" It was Carter asking the questions now as he saw that his friend was shaken up a bit. They still needed to know where to go next.

"She never told me where she was from, but I don't think it was far from here. That boyfriend of hers used to drive up on the weekends from wherever they'd come from. They didn't say, but I think she was trying to keep her family from knowing about the baby. She was young, scared . . . she probably just didn't know what else to do. But I have to say that I was surprised when she gave you up. I just never expected that. But, one day I heard her and that fella fighting and the next thing I know he comes out looking real upset.

"Then she comes down later just a crying and hands me her keys. She had you and her suitcases with her. I asked was she going home and she said yeah. Then I asked was her family going to be okay about her bringing you and she said that she wasn't going to, that she had decided to give you up. I tell you, I was pretty shocked."

"And that was the last you saw of her?" Tess asked meekly.

"Yep, sure was," Doris said.

"I see . . . well, thank you for your help," Tess said as she stood. Carter stood beside her with his arm around her. He could tell that Doris' words about her mother had upset her.

"I hope you find them, I really do. I know they loved you," she said. Tess smiled a little at that, then she and Carter moved back through the apartment and out the door.

"Well, looks like we're back to square one," Carter said as they stood outside the doorway.

"Yeah, looks that way," she said in a downtrodden voice.

"Come on, let's go, Tessie." He took her arm and led her back down the hallway. As they reached the door, she stopped. He watched as she sank quickly to her knees. "Tess? What is it? What's wrong?" he asked in a panicked voice.

She sat still for a moment, then said softly, "I saw her."

"Saw who? What are you talking about?"

"My mother, I saw her," Tess said as she looked up at him. Her eyes were wide and he couldn't quite decipher the expression they held.

"Tell me what you saw," he said gently as he knelt beside her.

"She was in a diner . . . there was a waitress there who knew her . . . in a blue uniform . . . the sheriff . . . he was there . . . she knew him . . . she was afraid of him for some reason, afraid he would hurt someone she cared about . . . Me, she was afraid for me . . ."

"Tess, calm down, it's okay," Carter said as he put his arm around her shoulders.

"No, there was more," she said as she struggled to remember. "I saw the man . . . the one with dark hair and dark eyes . . . he was here. He told her . . . he told her that she had to come back, that she had to give me up to save me. I saw him tell her, Carter," she said sadly. "And I wanted to be angry but . . . he was right. I was in danger . . . they were in danger. She had to do it . . . she had to . . ." Tears coursed down her cheeks now and Carter reached up to wipe them away as he took her into his arms.

"Shh, it's okay, Tessie. Everything will be okay," he soothed.

"We have to find them," she said quickly as she pulled back enough to look up at him.

"Tess, we don't even know where to start," he replied. "All we have are a bunch of dead ends. And besides, if it was dangerous then, who's to say it's not still dangerous now?"

"They don't know that I'm her daughter anymore, Carter. I'm an adult; I could be anyone. And anyway, I know where she is."

"You do? How?"

"I don't know how, I just know," she told him.

"Okay, where then?" he asked.

She looked at her best friend and said confidently, "Roswell. Roswell, New Mexico."

* * * * *