The Lame Cliché

And Would You Like Some Fries To Go With Your Cliché?

By Andalite Girl

( Note: Ok, I know this is really lame. I'm just warning you right now... Maybe the second one won't be as bad....)

I cracked my knuckles, pulled up a chair and turned on my computer, which has a hard-drive about the size of a peanut. " Are we going to be a good computer today?" I asked sweetly. " Or do I have to smack you a few times first? "

The computer beeped quietly and promptly froze up.

"Why you little...."

THUMP. I hit the side of the monitor.

" Ahhh! My hand!"

Suddenly the monitor went blue, completely blue. Cursing under my breath I reached over to flick the Off button... but nothing happened. I was bending under my tiny desk to pull the cord when a deep voice started to speak.

" I wouldn't do that if I were you."

" Who said that?" I demanded, looking around, " Katie? Is that you?"

"No, it is I, the computer." The computer said. " And I am growing very tired of you beating me up and writing lame-ass fanfiction on MY word program."

"Hey! My stuff does not suck that bad!"

" I am going to do something, something I have been wanting to do for a long, long time. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Then there was a horrible flash of light and I was suddenly in a barn.

WHERE AM I? AND WHY AM I SPEAKING IN CAPS?

" Oh, no!" Someone behind me groaned. " I hate fanfiction writers!"

I turned around to face...The Animorphs!

" And what name do you go by?" Jake asked.

" Andalite Girl."

"The same Andalite Girl who made me... you know... with Jake?" Rachel demanded, her eyes flashing.

"Uh, Yep."

Suddenly a giant plot hole appeared and Poco, The Spanish Speaking Idiot, fell out. " Que tal?" He wondered.

AHHHH! KILL IT! KILL IT!

I took out my Spanish textbook and beat him over the head with it.

Suddenly Veggie Freak and Brat Girl stepped into the barn.

"Die Paco. Die!" Veggie Freak screamed upon spying Paco. She grabbed a handy Spanish textbook and pitched in.

" I don't understand!" Brat Girl whined.

"Yeah me neither." Cassie said.

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU TAKE FRENCH.

"Oh." She grabbed Cassie's French book and threw it at Paco.

" Is there any reason your beating that poor Spanish speaking guy to death?" Marco wondered. " Or are you just doing it because you can't think of anything else to write of?"

SHUT UP MARCO! I ALWAYS LIKED YOU THE LEAST. I stopped beating poor Paco and looked around. WHAT SHOULD I DO?.... I KNOW! I took out my copy of fishies cliché and started reading. SAYS HERE THAT I HAVE OPNIPOINT FANFIC WRITERS POWERS! THIS SHOULD BE FUN....

I snapped my fingers and nothing happened. I whistled and nothing happened. HEY, JUST HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ACTIVATE THE POWERS? I wondered.

" Well you can stop eating meat for one thing..." Freak suggested.

SHUT UP! WAIT, I GOT IT!

I did a little break dance in the middle of the barn floor and a whole slew of fic writers popped into existence from... from... fanfiction.net!

" What are we doing here?" TobiasRulz demanded.

YOU ARE TO HELP ME WITH A FIND A PLOT FOR THIS STORY

" Hey, aren't you that girl who wrote The Pregnancy?" D.M.P wondered.

YUP.

"-Because it really sucked."

BITE ME.

< People! People! Please! > Tobias interrupted, < What does this have to do with anything? > He suddenly morphed into a human for no reason and frenched Rachel.

" Maybe you could go and jump off a cliff." Said Meeko with a twisted grin on her face, " That would be a good plot."

Paco woke up from his beaten-induced coma and started rattling things off in Spanish.

MY MOTHER WAS A SAINT! I hit him over the head again.

This started a battle between the other fanfic writers. One side that truly believed that my mother was a saint and the other side who thought my mother was a bitch.

This war raged for about an hour or so until both sides agreed to a truce.

" Ok, what was the point of that!?" Tobias yelled again, who had finally stopped that very long kiss with Rachel.

" Don't you get it?!" Cassie cried, " There isn't a point! Not one single point to this whole freaking story!"

Suddenly, Cassie's prize Stargate opened up and Teal'c stepped out and looked around.

YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS STORY. GET OUT.

" Are you not the girl who wrote The Pregnancy?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

YES! YES! I WROTE IT! I WAS JUST REACTING TO SOMETHING I OK??!!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!

" I have come to take Brat Girls hand in marriage." Teal'c said, completely changing the subject.

" I do!" Brat girl replayed.

Paco, who had decided to wake up again. Got up and walked over to Cobra Girl and started speaking in Spanish.

" He wants to marry you." Ali suggested helpfully.

" Oh ok!" Cobra Girl gave Paco a big snake-like hug.

This started a very disturbing trend among all the fanfic writers who started to ask each other to marry them.

Fishie gave me a strange look. "You do know what this means don't you?"

UHHHH... NO.

" Think for a second. Everyone is gettting hitched, the Animorphs are here and even a character from Stargate is here."

The realization was beginning to dawn on me. NO, I whispered. THIS CAN'T BE A DREAM. I MEAN, YEAH ALL THIS STUFF NORMALLY HAPPENS IN MY DREAMS... IT'S NOT BECAUSE SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPENS THAT HASN'T HAPPENED YET.

"What's that?"

Suddenly the barn door opened and out stepped a guy wearing a blue polo shirt and looking too damned smart for his own good. Everyone stopped and looked at him. "Mike!" They gasped.

OH NO.

"Hi guys." Mike said cheerfully.

Then a giant bell fell on top of him, followed by a pack of rabid kittens, a toaster with mad cow decease, a vat of orange shampoo, a firework, and a car. Then a sniper named Jenn shot what remained of his corpse and Veggie Freak went after the remains with a pitchfork while screaming, " You gave me bad reviews!"

UHHHH! THIS IS A DREAM! GOD DAMNIT!

*******

Then I woke up. I was back, back in my very own bed. "No more reading fanfiction before bed." I murmured... Then something caught my eye, it was a strange piece of paper lying on the floor. I walked over and opened it up, there was just enough light to read. It said:

You are cordially invited to the wedding!

Time: Next time Andalite Girl falls asleep

Place: Boringville, Hawaii

Who's getting married:

Teal'c & Brat Girl

Paco & Cobra Girl

TobiasRulz & RB

Utahrapter & Loki

Jekkal & Trixster

Mette & Rhi

Anigirl & Comet Fire

D.M.P. & Veggie Freak

Semeir-Cooraf-Armaheen & Forlay

Steve-0 & fishie

Meg & Meeko

ShannonL & Teague

Visser7 & Well, no one wanted to marry Visser7

Zac the gaiter playing bellboy & Bob the Universal Janitor

Ali & Biff

Hope to see you there!

I shrugged, changed into my best clothes and went to sleep.

*Fin?????*