After one long afternoon spent trying to one-up her long-time rival, Lori Loud, on SwiftyPic, Carol finally returned home after doing a picnic themed selfie with her obscure cousin from Alabama. Her followers believed he was her boyfriend though, but Carol paid it no mind. Anything to get ahead of that Loud girl, I suppose.
"Now, let's see who has the most likes now, Loud," she prematurely gloats, whipping her phone out. Upon opening up SwiftyPic, she could see on full display that Lori ended up upstaging her picnic selfie with one of her own. With an actual boyfriend no less.
"What the hell?! 115 likes already?!" In a small fit of rage, Carol slams her phone onto her bed, which bounces onto the floor with no real damage to be seen on the screen. She then slumpily plops onto her bed with a fierce scowl.
"UGH! There's no stopping her from upstaging me! What else could I possibly do to put that conniving copycat in her place?"
Getting up to retrieve her mobile device, Carol sits back down on her bed and decides to look through Lori's profile. "Wonder if there's anything here that could inspire me..." Half an hour of scrolling through selfies of Lori's pretentious mug later, she stops to think.
"Come on, Pingrey. Think of something. What is one unique aspect of Lori that you don't have? Let's see here... She has 10 siblings. I'm an only child. I think she has 9 brothers and 1 sister. Or was it 9 sisters and only 1 brother?" Attempting to look for answers, Carol scrolls down further and sees the top of a group photo of Lori's entire family. Sparking her interest, she saves the picture to her camera roll, opens her photo album, and selects the marker tool on said photo.
"Hmm..." Apart from drawing a mustache, horns, and a retarded facial expression on Lori, and drawing X's across some of her sisters' faces. Carol didn't notice anything very noteworthy. That is, until she saw her one point of interest right dab in the center of the picture and drew a heart shape around it in emphasizing red, which just so happens to be the only boy of the Loud family, Lincoln.
"He's perfect. May be the key to squashing that Loud tramp like the intolerable insect she is," she starts to preposterously plot in her head with a Grinch-worthy sneer. "Lincoln Loud... you will be mine."
With the smallest smidgeon of a resemblance of a plan in her head to set into action, Carol, for the rest of the day, skimmed through internet videos about how to unlock doors and windows, sewn together a black skin-tight jumpsuit along with gloves boots to complement the style, and a ninja mask to conceal both her identity and presence, and purchased some essential items for her operation from the town mall. Now, she just had to wait until nightfall to put her plan into action.
That same afternoon, whilst packing up her picnic items into her family's van, Lori couldn't help but feel triumphant for herself. She found out she got more likes than Carol once more, and didn't believe Carol was coming up with any more ideas anytime soon. The two had practically done every kind of selfie there was in the span of only a singular day. At the moment, it felt good to be Lori Loud...then her Latino boyfriend, Roberto (Bobby for short), said he wanted a quick chat with her.
"Lori... There's something I've been wanting to get off my chest since this morning," he said with a very much noticeable impediment in his voice, on the account of his swollen gums. "What is it, Bobby?" responded Lori.
"Why weren't you there for me when I had my dentist appointment today?" Bobby retorted back. "What dentist appointment? I don't recall you talking about any at all," a rather snarky Lori responds.
"I told you each day about it during our chat for weeks!" Bobby claims. "You've spent, like, the whole day taking a bunch of meaningless selfies and blocking me every time I tried to call you!"
With what Lori deemed a worthy alibi, she explains, "Those quote on quote 'meaningless' selfies have been what's keeping my SwiftyPic status above Carol Pingrey's all day. And now, I highly doubt she'll formulate anything to top my latest one."
Bobby has finally had enough of her social networking antics. One long, painful hour of being in an unnerving dental chair and having each wisdom tooth yanked out by metal pincers one by one, would generally not put anyone in the lightest of moods. Especially if their loved ones flat out pretended they didn't exist through the whole painful process.
After Lori's very poor excuse for her abandonment of him, Bobby rants, "Does obsessing over some so-called rivalry with this Carol girl really mean that much more to you than your own family and friends?! Would you end up sacrificing every single relationship you've ever had JUST to prove you're better to ONE person out of the entire friggin' planet?! The point is, you're letting showing Pingrey up become your only life goal, and it's gonna take QUITE the toll on our relationship if you decide to continue!"
Having caught ear of all that, Lori begins to reminisce how the whole 'battle of the ages' thing with her and Carol had started. All the way back when she and Leni used to be in the Bluebell Scout troop. Alas, Carol Pingrey was also along for that ride, having beaten Lori's cookie selling record tenfold and had successfully pilfered that gold medal straight out of Lori's grasp.
Even her younger sister's comfort couldn't put her at ease. From that point on, she vowed to wage war on Carol Pingrey. The result was years and years of the two duking it out in any sort of contest the two's minds were able to conjure up.
Tears begin to form down her cheeks when she realizes that the way she and Bobby first met was when her and Carol were at each other's throats in archery club during their middle school years. He was just walking along the field, minding his own business, until Lori just had to penetrate him in the thigh with one of her stray arrows she launched blindfolded.
After witnessing this, she went to go console him, saying "I'm sorry" rapidly God knows how many times that day. On the upside, they started to go out with each other, relieving her stress of keeping up with Pingrey. By only a margin. And during the process, she ends up remembering about all the times Bobby had mentioned his upcoming dentist appointment during their video chats, causing her to get closer to the verge of tears.
Kudos to DukeyDukeyDoo for collaborating with me on this story. In fact, he has his own story he's trying to develop too. He would greatly appreciate if someone in the audience could go and collaborate with him on that story too.
