Breathe

It's hard to breathe cool air in. It makes your throat sore. I exhale noisily. My whole body trembles and I can't make it stop. I am trying to remember what happened. I'm closing my eyes. I was on the arena. Everything around was under the snow and strange half-dilapidated buildings could be seen from time to time. Nearby I see the forest. I'm going there. I feel that I am being watched. I am ready to attack. But I did not expect that there would be four of them.

I open my eyes. Breathing is still hard. Shivering doesn't stop. I'm gradually ceasing to feel my feet and fingers. Left leg is throbbing. Obviously it's broken. I raised my right hand that was resting on my stomach before - it was black. I'm looking at it with surprise in my eyes. Right where my hand was it's starting to hurt terribly. So my hand is fine, it's just frozen blood from the wound on the right side. One more breathe. I was too confident.

Exhale

I understand that I'm slowly dying. My wound isn't fatal. It is quite possible to live with it in the arena a couple more days. But lake… If I had just pulled up in front of the slope in time, I would … already be dead.

Inhale

I would not have suffered from this pain and cold that fills all my body.

Exhale

Those four tributes would have killed me. But the lake was a surprise.
I rolled head over heels down the slope. After the landing, I realized that my leg was broken. And when I tried to get up, I heard crunching sound. In fact, the ice was thick, and it could hold me. But I was on the Hunger Games. And the entertainment here is above everything else.

Inhale

Having fallen through the ice, I did not think of anything. First there was the feeling that I have been stabbed with hundreds of daggers. My chest was paralyzed. The pain from the icy water wasn't long. After that water started resembling swamp - moving in there was hard. But the lack of thoughts helped me not to panic. I was able to get out.

Exhale

It was my last harvest. My name did not even sound at the house of justice, until I volunteered and called it standing on the stage.

Inhale

I was asking myself over and over - what for? Anne was not my sister, cousin or sweetheart. Is she so dear to me? If my name were called, would she go as a volunteer?

Exhale

Of course not. Only I could be stupid and reckless enough to volunteer. Inhale And to think, that I was sure I could kill anyone who will be on my way to victory. A strange confidence that I could win was burning inside of me. Exhale What an idiot. Breathing becomes harder. My eyes begin to close. I almost can't feel the pain in my leg. And to be precise, I can't feel my legs at all. I can't move my fingers. I want all of this to stop. But most of all, I want to be warm. Inhale I remember that all the warming plates were in the bag that rests on the bottom of the lake now. Exhale I'm slowly looking around. When I got out of here the previous time I took all of my supplies. I can't ignite fire or even kill myself. Inhale I can only wait. Exhale Father did not say goodbye to me. He didn't even look at me when I called my name. Mum slapped me in the face when she came to say goodbye. I earned it. But the way she embraced me after that was really strange. Mom never hugged me like that. And she never will. Inhale My brother died on the games, two years before that. I for some reason decided that I can survive. Exhale I'm raising my head and looking ahead. I know that maybe now they are showing me in a close-up. I know that I'm dying, my family knows this, Anne knows, all Panem knows and just waits. All of them are waiting for my last breath. But this will to live in my mind - it's the worst thing - I do not want to die. For some reason that is not clear to me, I'm going on breathing and clenching onto life with my cold fingers. I'm just postponing the inevitable, but with some incredible persistency.

Inhale

I volunteered because of Anne. I knew she would not be able to kill. And if she had come to it, it would have broken her. For me killing somehow became something normal.

Exhale

I knew that I had to kill and I did it. My first days on the Games, I behaved like a beast. I hunted tributes, fought with them and brought death to those whom I met. Inhale And now I'm like a dying beast, I huddled in a dark corner and now I'm waiting for the unknown. Exhale And now I can hear the familiar sound. It means that another tribute is dead. So we've got five. Inhale If they find me – I'm dead. Exhale But on the other hand, I have a slim chance that they will kill each other. And if I keep breathing – I will become the winner. Inhale I will live. Exhale The main thing is not to fall asleep. Inhale I need to hold on a little longer. Exhale Do not close your eyes. Inhale

Don't close…