Chuck vs the Revelation
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck – if I did, we wouldn't have to wait until February for the next episode!
Note: This is my first fic EVER!!! But I, along with everyone else, didn't like how Chuck vs. Santa Claus ended. This is a possible continuation … please let me know what you think …
Something was wrong, terribly wrong. It didn't take a super agent, with carefully honed powers of observation to notice, at least, not in this case. Something was wrong with Chuck – he wasn't acting his normal, goofy, loveable self. Sarah frowned, trying to figure out what was going on and when his behavior had first changed.
She studied his profile. He seemed nervous, tense; he wouldn't look her in the eye. Whenever she came in close proximity to him, he would jump and make some excuse to move away from her. That in itself was a little awkward, considering it was Christmas Eve, and he had invited her to the Bartowski's home for a Twilight Zone marathon and some "heartwarming". What made it more noticeable was the fact that Ellie and Devon were snuggling up together Ellie and Devon on the couch, while Chuck was sprawled in the easy chair. She had originally perched on the arm next to him, but when he had made no effort to shift to make room for her, she finally settled at the end of the couch, affording her a chance to study him. He seemed all too aware of her scrutiny, based on how studiously he avoided looking in her direction or acknowledging her presence, all the while staring blankly at the television.
It was a few hours after the hostage situation in the Buy More had ended. Ellie had been more solicitous than usual at dinner, flitting here and there, fussing over Chuck and Devon, expressing her relief in their safety and trying to "make up" for the fact that she hadn't had a chance to make a home cooked dinner. Even Devon had grown slightly impatient with her, asking her to slow down and relax. Now his fiancée was drowsily snuggling up to him, and Sarah attributed the elder Bartowski's behavior to the aftereffects of adrenalin.
Chuck, on the other hand, was acting more nervous now than when he and his loved ones were being held at gun point. Sarah reflected wryly on the fact that until Ned revealed himself as being a Fulcrum agent, Chuck had successfully dealt with more dangerous and menacing foes than the erstwhile "fugitive". Her asset had always recovered by now, returning to the loveable, well-meaning nerd she knew and …
Sarah cleared her throat nervously, refusing to finish that train of thought, and excused herself to the kitchen to get a glass of water. It was mid-swallow when it came to her – the last time Chuck had acted this way in her presence was a little over a year ago – in this very apartment! It had been the first time she had come to dinner, to meet Ellie and Devon. She had brought a soufflé … and Chuck had thought she was a double agent sent to kill him! Could that be it??!! Did he think she was going to kill him? That he could no longer trust her?
The CIA agent felt as if she had been pistol whipped and sucked in her breath involuntarily as she considered the horrible thought. She remembered how angry she had been at Chuck at that time – it had only been a couple of days after he had found out that he was now the United States' number one intelligence asset and she had asked him to trust her. She thought she had him wrapped around her finger after their time on the beach, he watching the sunset, she watching over him. They had come to an understanding on that beach – he would serve the United States to the best of his ability, and she would protect him to the best of her ability. How hurt she had been that he didn't trust her and that this had almost been the very first assignment she had failed.
Yet the hurt she felt now was infinitely worse! After all they've been through, after the countless times she had saved his life and (she had to admit to herself) the countless times HE had saved her life - how could Chuck not trust her? How could he think she would ever harm him? Before she left him in the Buy More, hadn't she sworn to him she would never let anyone hurt him? His lack of trust was a betrayal that shook her to her very core.
Nevertheless, Sarah pushed her hurt aside as she tried to analyze the situation further. Her relationship with Chuck (after all, they DID have a real relationship, if not a normal one, as she had once assured him) had been strained of late. He had said some hurtful things to her, first when he had been reestablishing a relationship with Jill, and later when he had been willing to let HER risk her life rather than Jill's. And had he not betrayed both her and Casey when he had locked them in the Castle in order to save Jill? They had never talked about any of this; SHE should be the one doubting Chuck's intentions toward HER … yet, not once has her faith and trust in him ever wavered. If her safety were at stake, she had absolutely no doubt Chuck would do anything in his power to save her, even at risk to himself.
OH MY GOD!!! Sarah frantically mentally ran through the events that transpired earlier today after she and Casey had realized Mauser was a Fulcrum agent. She had come upon Chuck in the Christmas tree lot and set him back to the Castle. He had run off while she turned her attention to the real threat. But had he? Had Chuck actually run to safety? Sarah groaned to herself – she should have known better – when had Chuck ever abandoned her when he thought she needed help? That must mean …
The glass she was holding fell through her numb hand and shattered on the kitchen floor as Sarah's mind mentally played through the rest of the scene – the fight with Mauser, his taunts, and the final outcome when she looked straight into his smirking eyes and put a bullet through his head.
"Sarah? Are you ok? What happened?" Sarah jumped as Ellie's voice startled her from the living room.
"It's ok – I just tripped and dropped a glass – I'll clean it up – don't worry about anything!" Sarah hastily replied, not wanting anyone to join her in the kitchen.
She sank down numbly on the floor and buried her head in her hands as the implications of Chuck seeing her shoot Mauser flooded her mind. What had she done??!!! Innocent Chuck, hopeful Chuck, Chuck who ALWAYS believed in the best of everyone – he must have seen her shoot Mauser – what must he be thinking? She had always been the voice of reason between two extremes – Casey who offered to kill anything that moved and Chuck who wanted everyone to "live and let live". Whenever he had thought Casey was being unreasonable, he had always turned to her and she had always been able to mollify him. He had never had to see her as a hard-as-nails CIA agent. Surely he realized she had killed in the past? An agent doesn't become the best in the CIA without spilling any blood. He must have flashed on at least part of her CIA file at one point in time! Yet – Chuck was always so quick to think the best of everyone, even strangers – how could he think she didn't have a good reason for what must have appeared to him to be cold blooded murder?
Sarah unconsciously played with the charm bracelet he had given her earlier in the day as she contemplated the rest of the events that had transpired. She had stood by and watched as an NSA clean up team had arrived and took charge of Mauser's body, and then she had rushed back to the Buy More, with a myriad of questions running through her mind – was Chuck safe? What if there were more than two Fulcrum agents? What if Chuck had been captured despite all their efforts? Mauser hadn't exaggerated when he said Fulcrum would stop at nothing, not even torture, to extract any information from the Intersect. How relieved she had been to see Chuck alive and well and surrounded by his loved ones! She was so thankful that he was safe that she rushed into his arms and gave him a quick kiss.
And then it dawned on her – Chuck had asked her what had happened to the Fulcrum agent. Without hesitation she had lied to his face – but if he had seen her shoot Mauser, then he knew she had lied to him.
A sound in the doorway made her look up, straight into Chuck's hurt, accusing eyes.
"Chuck … I …"
"How could you, Sarah?"
It was then that the full and final realization hit her – she had done what she had sworn not to let anyone else do – she had HURT Chuck immeasurably – she had not inflicted a flesh would that would easily heal, but a deeper, more painful wound in his very beliefs. Right now, he needed protection from HER …
Unable to stand the look on Chuck's face, Sarah bolted upright and rushed out of the apartment leaving a startled Ellie and Devon and sorrowful Chuck behind.
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Author's Note: Please let me know how I'm doing. TBC?
