Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sam and Max where created by Steve Purcell and propery of Telltale games. This was made purely for fun, not for profit.
On the corner of Straight and Narrow, a newly repaired office building stood proud. A lot has happened in a relatively short period of time. Including the lost of one of the Freelance Police. The lovable lagomorph with a jigsaw teeth. But when it seemed lost, a Max from another timeline who lost his own Sam showed up and the Freelance police where born again. If one saw them now a days, you wouldn't even know that anything or anyone has ever been lost.
"Alright, here's the shot." Sam said aiming his large hand cannon out the window of their office, "You have to bounce it off a car hood, off the street lamp, through the rope keeping that safe up, and hit that can on the ledge."
"Bonus points for any extra hits right?" Max asked loading up his gun.
"When has that never been the rules?" Sam asked. "Now, watch and learn little buddy." Sam lowered the barrel of his overly large gun. As the hammer began to cock back the phone in the corner of their office began to ring, drawing the attention of the anthropomorphic duo.
"I got it I got it!" Both cried out beginning to trample each other to the phone. Max jumped for it, but had his ankle grabbed by Sam and dropped to the ground. Max grabbed Sam's leg and sank his zig zagged teeth into the dog's ankle. While it defiantly hurt Sam, his other foot came down on the white rabbit-thing.
"Hello?" Sam asked beating you his partner in their usual battle for the phone. "Oh Commissioner! Uh huh…yes…I gotcha…you don't say…Sweet Mother of Manatee doing the mambo! We're on the case sir!"
"New case Sam?" Max asked still under the unshoed foot.
"Yes, the commissioner believes that a traveling circus in town is connected to a strings of crimes committed in the area. But that's not even the best part."
"They're a front for free to take firearms?"
"No, our old pal the Geek is finally back from college!"
"The Geek? You mean the young child genius who lived in the Sub-Basement and worked as a dry wit to our over the top humor?"
"Well the humor wasn't quite the same back then. What with everyone concerned we would corrupt the youth watching at the time."
"Glad that's changed. I don't know how we would have handled most of our situations without crude and adult humor." Max responded.
"Enough beating on the fourth wall, we got an old friend to catch up with! And after that, a collection of brightly colored of criminals to administer a good old fashioned Freelance Police borderline brutality beat down on!"
"Alright cue the music!" Max exclaimed.
"Hard to do in this format." Sam responded, "We'll have to settle for a line break."
"Fine." Max said with narrowing eyes, "But it better be fancy!"
"You crack me up little buddy."
===Down on the Street===
"You poor thing, what have those two done to you?" A teenage girl asked looking over the DeSoto.
"Hey, hands off the car!" Sam yelled pulling his gun while Max got distracted by something else on the street.
"Whoa, Sam, no need to pull the hand cannon." The girl said turning around raising her hands. The girl in question was about 5'7", had red hair down to her neck, a red headband with a yellow dot on it. She was wearing a jacket with a green body and yellow sleeves, unzipped to show a red top. She had green and yellow sneakers, and deep brown eyes hidden behind green rimmed glasses with a slight chain around it.
"Either you know about us from our stories, or I'm suppose to know you." Sam said.
"How do you not recognize me?" The girl asked, "I spent how long helping you guys."
"Uh…" Sam said drawing a total blank.
"For Pete's sake…it's me! Geek!" The girl said.
"Yeah right!" Max said deciding to focus on the event at hand. "The real Darla Gungenheek was this super annoying little girl."
"He's right, the Geek was a sarcastic genius which served as a counter to our zany over the top humor." Sam added, "And she would have never allowed Max to get away with saying her real name."
"Oh trust me, Max isn't getting…wait, Max?" The girl asked, interrupting her rolling up of a sleeve with a blink of disbelief. 'Geek' took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, as if they weren't working right.
"Geek!" Sam and Max cried out at the same time, catching the girl in a sudden group hug.
"You really have grown up, I didn't recognize you!" Sam said, "But once you took off those glasses, and where willing to murder Max over your real name, it had to be you!"
"I just don't get it, how do you look so different? I mean, you have boobs now!" Max bluntly pointed out.
"Uh, I'll explain later." Geek said dodging a situation she clearly didn't want to be in.
"Now why where you inspecting the DeSoto?" Sam asked.
"Why was I inspecting it?" Geek asked in disbelief, "I must have spent days repairing this thing before I went off to college! And look what you guys all did while I was away. The hood is almost falling off from repeated crashes; the front bumper looks like someone drove through a brick wall, the trunk is covered with the tackiest decals I've ever seen, you way overdid it with the flames, the shocks look like they've been through several ramp jumps, and let's talk about how the siding and dashboard look like there where how many things put on it and pulled off with your bare hands! But I have to admit, the siren is a nice touch."
"Wow, didn't realize we've left so many marks on the DeSoto." Sam asked.
"Well I'm not even done looking over it." Geek said, "Let's see about the air conditioner." Geek turned on the air conditioner, only for a demonic roar echoed through the car before it began to shake and jump. Sam quickly grabbed Max and tossed him into the car allowing Max to turn off the air conditioner.
"What was that?" Geek asked clearly shocked.
"Sam did it!" Max quickly shouted.
"Yeah, at one point while we were dealing with traveling through time in a flying sombrero, the DeSoto died. Due to all of our hit and runs, its soul was sent to hell."
"We brought it back to life, but it came back shuttling an evil demon soul." Max said.
"But as long as we don't use the air conditioner it doesn't act up."
"Man, you guys had one hell of a time while I was gone." Geek responded. "I mean, there was that one moment…kind of couldn't believe I was seeing Max in front of me."
"Oh I'm not the original Max." Max said, "I'm actually a Max from another timeline where Sam got the crazy powers and went all giant monster. Using my powers as president I had to order a massive nuclear strike on him and blow him up. It was horrible." Despite that, the wicked grin never left Max's face. Geek was visibly taken aback by the gesture.
"So…what have you been up to?" Sam asked.
"Oh, you wouldn't believe what I've all been through." Geek said, "Been working on a few inventions, such as my hypnosis re-direction helmet, remote microphone disruptor, a non-lethal paint gun loaded with blood colored pellets, a handheld anti-stone sonic cannon, virtual reality hack tool, anti-sentient space bacteria soap, demon detector, volcano sealant, automatic soul return, DNA Mutation corrector, and my banishment ritual in a box."
"You have no idea how much we needed those!" Max said.
"I thought something connected to you guys was happening when my roommate started saying "I'm Hugh Bliss" and when zombies started walking around." Geek said, "But a quick beat down took care of my roommate and those zombies didn't dare come anywhere near my zombie repellent."
"Wow, and here I thought Bosco was over prepared." Sam said.
"Then of course there was my paper on the connection between psychic powers and the elder gods." Geek said, remembering again what each of them went through. "Sorry, let's not bring this up."
"Anyway, do you need some help moving back into the Sub-Basement of Solitude?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, because Sam would be more than happy to help."
"Just one thing though. The street and our building underwent some repair and construction. So the entrance had to be taken out." Sam brought up
"You're kidding right?" Geek asked, "How am I suppose to get to the Sub-Basement of Solitude? In case you forgot, I lived there!"
"Relax, using a combination of budget balancing and thinly veiled threats, we where able to get them to install a new entrance." Max pointed out. "It's right this way."
"Actually it's this way." Sam said leading the correct direction. In the small alley between the rentable space and the office, there was a loose brick that Sam pushed in opening the wall. Inside it seemed like a normal elevator.
"This is the new entrance?" Geek asked getting inside, followed shortly by both of the freelance police.
"Well we made a few changes." Sam said before a large spring fired down from the top and shot the elevator down at incredibly high speeds.
==Sub-Basement of Solitude==
The elevator came to a crashing a stop in the underground caverns beneath the office of the Freelance Police.
"Glad to see that hasn't changed all that much." Geek said stepping off the elevator, "Ugh, what happened to this place? Didn't you guys maintain it while I was gone?" The Sub-Basement of Solitude was shown to suffer from disaster from the negligence. Cobwebs have been spun on almost every crevices, dust had built up to almost blanket-like levels, and the machines haven't been so much as touched the whole time.
"We kind of forgot it even existed for awhile." Max bluntly confessed.
"Then care to explain this?" Geek said finding a large hole in one of the former cavern walls.
"Oh that." Sam said, "That probably came from Skun-Ka'pe attacked and we sucked his shiny evil gorilla behind into a pocket dimension."
"Then how about explain this?" Geek asked seeing a skeleton resembling a two legged dog with his hands around the skeleton of a rabbit-like creature. Also bipedal.
"Oh that. We found that not to long ago." Max said, "That's the skeleton remains of Sam and mine's great-grandfathers."
"We've been so busy lately we forgot about them. We really should give them a proper burial."
"Or at least get them out of my lab!" Geek shouted.
"Sorry Geek, guess we kind of let you down a bit." Sam said, "We really did mean to help out."
"Truth is I was expecting this." Geek said, "I mean, you guys have a habit of getting distracted. Plus I guess your cases are a bit more serious than dealing with my junk." Geek dusted off the keyboard of her computer and turned it on. "Ugh, updates, install those later." After a few keyboard strokes a small robot popped out with a series of vacuums and dusters on it. "Little something I threw together in case you guys forgot to clean the lab. Will take some time, but nothing it can't deal with."
"Well great. Hope you don't mind but we have a case to deal with." Sam said, "It involves a traveling circus, mysterious crimes, and a possible connection to a potential crime family."
"Wow, that sounds great. Mind if I tag along?" Geek asked.
"Wait, what?" Max asked.
"Well I'm always down here, helping you guys from behind the scenes. It gets a little boring." Geek responded, "Plus, I was away at college, unable to do anything. So, I want to taste the front lines for a change."
"You sure you want to do that?" Sam asked, "A lot of our adventures are at their core us picking up random objects engaging people in pointless conversation."
"Yeah, but it's gotta be better than just sitting here watching a robot cleaning up the lab you guys where suppose to be taking care of."
"Guess when you put it that way," Sam said, "Be glad to have you with us."
"At least until this case is over." Max pointed out.
"So once again, let's go, there's a traveling circus full of criminals that requires our tried and true vigilante justice system to take them down!"
