Well, we read this play for Drama Class in High School, and I fell in love with it. It is rated K plus, and will contain very mild violence, some suggestive humor, and a scene of Clay Bashing (hate to disappoint anyone XD ).
Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown, nor do I own this play, which was titled something along the lines of The Worst Play in the World. Most of the dialogue does not belong to me. However, I did put these two together and edited the dialogue, and turned it into story format, so I do own something!!
CH. 1
In the Xiaolin Theater, the monks and evil doers were about to put on a performance, each getting ready for the curtain call.
Omi, dressed in wizard robes, stepped on stage. "Ladies and gentlemen, good and evil forces have united to bring you this most entertaining performance! So please enjoy the show."
The curtains opened to show little blonde Megan, in a pink royal dress, holding a baby doll and twirling about the stage. Katnappé, dressed as a queen over her usual attire, followed her.
"Be careful, Megan," Katnappé sighed. "You'll have him dizzy and puking if you don't watch out."
Megan giggled, weaving between elaborate furniture. "I can't help myself, Mother. Every time I look at him, I fell like dancing! Was there ever a more precious child?"
Katnappé said, "There was you, my darling."
"But I was just a girl. A waste of labor. How can you compare me to this! A boy child! Heir to the throne, Raimundo!"
"You weren't worth much, but you were cute."
Megan gasped, blue eyes wide. "Oh dear, he's all wet! Should I summon the royal changer?"
Katnappé smiled. "I think it's time you learned how to change a diaper."
"Oh gross!"
Katnappé took the doll and put in on a table. "Hello, my little prince, is you wet? Now the first step is to take the diaper off."
"Like this?"
"Yes, very good. Then we say a little poem: Diaper, diaper, in the sky, how far will this diaper fly?" She threw it off stage.
"Katnappé!" Megan growled softly. Then she went back into character. "Mother!" She pointed at the bundle the baby was in. "What is that?"
"What?"
"That!"
"Silly girl, what does it look like?"
"A birthmark."
"Exactly. A royal birthmark. There's no mistaking our little Raimundo."
"When will Dad come back?"
"I miss him, too."
Megan pouted. "Why did he run off to war, anyway?"
"For honor, and duty. And porcelain."
"Why didn't Uncle Jack go with him?"
"Who knows? I don't trust that man. He lusts for power. Jack places burdens on our people and brutalizes them into obeying. And if I confront him, he brushes me aside."
Megan said, "But you must be able to do something! You are the queen!"
"Alas, I am a powerless queen until your father returns."
"May it be soon."
Katnappé sighed. "I wouldn't count on it. You know how picky your father is when it comes to buying porcelain."
Jermaine, dressed as an attendant, came in and bowed. "Prince Jack wishes an audience with Your Majesty."
Megan gasped. "Don't let him in, Mother."
The Queen nodded. "Tell Prince Jack I am otherwise engaged."
"He says it's urgent," Jermaine said.
"Tell him I am sick. Tell him I have the plague."
'I told him that last time, Your Majesty."
Katnappé crossed her arms. "Very well, tell him I am dead."
Jermaine bowed. "At once Your Majesty." He rushed off.
Jack Spicer entered, dressed like an evil prince. The swords strapped to his waist tripped him and he fell. He jumped back up and struck a pose.
"What seems to be the delay?" Jack asked, going into the Queen's chambers.
Jermaine said, "The queen is dead."
Jack looked to Katnappé, then back. "Dead, you say?"
"Dead."
"She will be missed."
"Verily."
Katnappé stomped her foot. "How dare you enter my chambers without my permission!"
Jack gasped. "A miracle! She lives! I shall declare a day of celebration!"
"I told my attendant to tell you I was dead tired. He simply misunderstood."
Jack looked to Jermaine. "Leave us. I wish to speak to the Queen alone." Jermaine left. Jack looked to the baby. "And how is the heir apparent feeling today?" He reached his hand out.
Katnappé jumped in front of him. "He is sleeping. State your business, Jack."
"So be it," Jack sighed. "I wish I had good news, but word reached me not an hour ago that our great and noble king, your husband and father, has fallen on hard times."
Katnappé and Megan gasped.
Jack broke into an evil smile. "Very hard times." He nearly laughed, then covered it by pretending to cry. "Oh, ye gods!" He shook his fist at the sky. "Take me heart, my soul, my bronze bongos even . . .but not my king!"
Megan slowly sat by the queen. "What are you saying, Uncle Jack? Are you saying . . ."
Jack nodded. "Yep."
Katnappé looked up. "Dead? The kind is dead?"
"As good as dead," Jack said. "He's been captured by the enemy."
"Captured!" Megan shuddered.
Jack nodded. "In a porcelain shop. He never had a chance."
Megan began crying. "Oh Mother, he is doomed! Doomed!"
Jack giggled and did a little dance step.
"Hush child, he's alive." Katnappé assured. "And where there is life, there is hope."
Jack laughed. "Oh, that's a good one."
Katnappé looked up at him. "They are no doubt holding him for ransom."
Jack nodded. "The filthy slimes say they'll release him if we come up with twenty thousand gold coins, eleven milk cows, and a thousand feet of beachfront property, undeveloped."
Katnappé brightened. "I assume you have set about collecting the ransom?"
Jack sighed. "I wish I could, but it violates the wishes of the king. How many times have I heard him say it? 'Not a penny for ransom'!"
Katnappé frowned. "Not ransom, transoms! Transoms, like windows above doors. You know how much he hates those."
Jack shrugged. "Transoms, ransoms, what's the difference? If we give into the enemy this time, there'll be no end to it."
"You would let him die, then?"
"You can't put a price tag on honor. If I were in his place, I'd expect him to do the same."
"That's easy for you to say!" Megan spat.
Jack grinned. "You bet it is."
Katnappé shouted, "I won't let you get away with this!"
"Get away with what? I assure you what I do is for the good of our people."
"Indeed." Katnappé crossed her arms. "I believe you want to be king."
"Honest, I don't want to be king. If I'm lying, may a lightning bolt strike me where I stand." He stepped aside as a cardboard lightning bolt fell to the floor where he had been. He turned to the queen. "Why would I want to be king? Besides, how could I? Little Raimundo's heir to the throne. I couldn't possibly be king unless something horrible happened to him. An accident . . .perhaps."
Katnappé passed Raimundo to Megan. "I'll go to the Council of Lords."
"I've fired the Council."
"Then I shall appeal to the Order of Knights."
"They've all gone to the Crusades."
"I'll appeal to the Archbishop."
"He's on vacation."
"Then I shall take my case to the people!"
"They're in prison."
Katnappé was stunned. "In prison? All of them?"
Jack nodded.
"Charged with what?"
He grinned. "Littering. I'm determined to put a stop to it!"
Megan looked at Jack. "Uncle Jack, I beg you. Please save my father. For once do something good. Please!"
He shrugged. "I'll think about it."
"Thank you."
"I thought about it. No deal."
"You're horrible!" Katnappé shouted.
"Look, you're a little upset," Jack said. 'Why don't you let me send Omi over here. He can fix you up a potion and read your palms."
"You keep that evil sorcerer away from us!"
Jack sighed. "Well, if you don't want Omi, how about the Court Jester? Let me send Dojo over."
"You keep your vermin out of my chambers!"
He sighed. "Well, I gotta go. Duty calls." He crossed to the baby prince, putting his hand over Raimundo's face. "Don't play in the street, kid." Jack screamed and jumped back. "He bit me!"
Megan sighed. "Oh, dear. Now we'll have to wash his mouth out."
Jack walked off stage.
"Viper!" Katnappé shouted.
Megan turned to the queen with wide blue eyes. "I'm afraid, Mother. You don't think he would do anything to Raimundo do you?"
Katnappé sighed. "This I do know: When Jack was a baby they put a sign on his crib that said 'Cave Canem', a Latin phrase meaning 'Beware of Dog.' The dog has grown into a wolf. Now come, we must make preparations." They left offstage as the lights faded.
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