Title: Flakes
Characters/Pairings: Kamishiro Rio, Kamishiro Ryoga, IV (Thomas Arclight); slight IVRio
Rating: T
Words: 3,995
Summary: Rio, IV, and a conversation by her bedside. Diverts from canon after the WDC arc, doesn't take in account any of ZeXal II.
Warnings: Language, some hints of suicidal thoughts
A/N: So revising this almost two years later wasn't as bad as I thought. Flakes was the first piece of ZeXal fanfiction I finished, and I still remember painstakingly trying to figure out how to write Rio by watching scenes with any glimpse of her character over and over again, since she was still the faceless "Shark's sister" then. How time flies.
"You're scared."
"I am not."
"You totally are."
"Shut the fuck up, Ryoga."
They were quite an attractive sight, walking in step on the streets of Heartland City, exchanging bits of banter between them just inaudible to most ears, despite there being a metre's distance in the middle. Both were relatively well-known duelists by that time, and it struck everyone who saw them as odd to see them in the company of each other, since they were always shown to be at complete loggerheads on the big screen. The media were still making up all sorts of tabloids—inane guesses to the relationship these two duelists may have, but not once have they struck close to the truth.
And if either Shark or IV could help it, no one outside of their families and friends will ever know.
"It's not too late to turn back, you know," Ryoga quipped, lips tugged up in a smug smirk. "If you're so… nervous."
"I don't run from my mistakes," IV grumbled, eyes in adamant focus on the concrete path ahead of him. The atmosphere surrounding the two of them seemed to crackle; those sharing the same street as them were wise to stay a safe distance from them, as how one would avoid going outdoors in a storm when the clouded sky rumbled with thunder and lightning.
"Hmm, that's true. It doesn't hide the fact that you're practically shivering in your pants."
"There you are with the accusations again. I am not."
"Are too."
"… I am not having this childish conversation with you," IV cleared his throat and shoved his hands into his pockets. He had age on Ryoga, at least.
Ryoga had been vehemently against the idea in the first place. The World Duel Carnival was months behind them, but he was still wary of IV. It was understandable—Tron may have been the one to instigate IV's actions, but Ryoga was not sure if he could ever find it in himself to forgive IV completely after what he had done, having thought him to be the main perpetrator for too long a time. They had an unspoken agreement to avoid each other as much as possible outside of the duelling arena if they could help it, since everything was over and done with.
They were presently in each other's company and walking through the heart of the city, headed to the hospital Rio resided in. Ryoga would not have allowed his sister to have her way—he had argued with her on more than one occasion on the subject—but when she pulled the doctor into the discussion one day and he had agreed that it would benefit her condition, Shark conceded with a loud huff.
She had demanded for her saviour to visit her. She had called IV her saviour of all things. And Ryoga had agreed, because she was his sister.
Ryoga winced at the memory. To say that it had not been a pleasant conversation was an understatement.
The two WDC finalists proceeded towards their destination in grudging silence, Ryoga deriving amusement from the fact that IV was actually anxious of the upcoming visit. Ryoga had to wonder what else had happened when IV duelled his younger sister; he had finally asked her about it on a couple of visits, but she had kept her mouth shut firm—that only served to fuel his animosity towards IV, but there was nothing much he could do about certain matters when it came to his sister. It was already a raging inferno that hadn't yet shown any signs of dying down or flaring up—a little extra firewood thrown in wouldn't make much of a difference.
Ryoga would have resumed his musings if he suddenly realised the lack of heels clacking on the ground next to him. He stared at the spot where IV should have been for a moment, before swerving around to find IV a few steps behind. He had stopped in his tracks, head bent so he was staring at the ground.
"Oy, what's the problem now?" Ryoga said, frustration almost at its limit.
"Turning back is still an option, right?" IV was almost mumbling, a dry laugh escaping his lips. Ryoga felt a tick in his temple. "Surely your sister won't want to see the person that landed her in hospital and—"
IV received an answer in the form of rushing footsteps and a fist to his face.
"You… bastard," Ryoga clutched his right wrist; that punch was long overdue. He revelled in the satisfaction of it as IV stumbled back from its force, clutching his face that threatened to blossom purple. "What happened to what you just said? What happened to not running from mistakes? Taking responsibility?!"
"She won't want to see someone like me!" IV snapped. People around them had paused when they heard the two duelists coming to blows, but he didn't care, and neither did Ryoga. "She should hate me for causing her—"
"That's for her to decide and not you. She's grateful to you."
"Tch. You're joking."
Ryoga sighed in exasperation. Does he have to spell it out so clearly? "Look, if you didn't get her out of that fire, she could have lost her life. And… it's not only her that's grateful. … As much as it pains me to say this, I have to… thank you for saving her."
Something seemed to dawn in IV's eyes then, but Ryoga never did get the time to read them when IV grabbed Ryoga all of a sudden by the collar and started dashing in the direction they were headed.
"Woah!" Ryoga gasped out, almost biting his tongue. "Oy, slow down you—"
"I have to face my mistakes, don't I?" IV shouted, and let go of his rival as he resumed his pace. Shark took a moment to regain his balance from being unceremoniously manhandled before sprinting to catch up with the other duelist. "Then let's get this over and done with!"
"This, probably, really isn't a good idea."
"Right. It isn't. But we're here anyway, and think of how upset your dear little sister would be if we turned back now…"
"Shut up."
They were in Heartland Hospital, taking an elevator to the floor where Kamishiro Rio's ward was. The low hum of the machinery accompanied the two occupants in it.
"So… how is she?" IV asked, eyes firmly fixed on the doors. They gleamed a dull silver, two blurred silhouettes in the sheen.
"You'll find out later."
"There's nothing wrong with wanting to be mentally prepared, is there?"
"Enthusiastic, aren't you?" Ryoga paused and glanced at IV for a moment, took a deep breath as he recalled the black-and-white print that glared up at him from the medical report all those months ago. "First- to third-degree burns to more than forty-percent of her body, mostly on her forearms and legs. She was wearing long sleeves and stockings, if you recall. She's recovering faster everyday, but it'll take more than a few years before she can completely resume normal day-to-day life."
"…"
"I never said it would be pretty."
Ryoga wondered if he had let on too much or too little about his sister's condition, but if it let IV understand the true extent of his and his father's actions, then it could be for the better. He hadn't let on all the details—some things were best left understood with his own eyes and via his sister's own words. "Don't say or do anything stupid to agitate her."
The elevator doors slid open on the twelfth floor. IV let Ryoga lead him past doctors and nurses that bustled along and across the corridors, and they stopped at the ward located right at the beginning of the last corridor they arrived at. Shark reached for a pass card in his pocket and placed it against the scanner to verify his identity.
IV didn't know what he was expecting as he entered the ward. Every room in a hospital looks the same, right? He and his family had been in and out of this very hospital several times after the WDC, he should be familiar with it.
Or maybe it was the guilt clawing into his gut again.
He paused as the door slid close behind him to take in the floor-to-ceiling windows, curtains drawn partway over them, same whirring hum of machinery, same white sheets, same faint scent of chemicals. Somehow, the atmosphere managed to be abhorrently different.
When he mustered up the courage to take his eyes away from the furnishing to the person sitting up on the bed, he almost cursed Ryoga mentally in his head.
He should have expected it, though. The bandages wrapped around the top of her head, covering her right eye. The folded wheelchair in the corner, accompanied by a pair of crutches. The pressure garments she wore on her arms and other bandages that continued on under her clothing and the covers. The pale skin that tightened around her face, cheeks tinted with a bit of pink.
"Hey, Rio, here's the one person you've been dying to see," Ryoga said as he walked forward and stood by the bed. "Hope you're happy now."
"I am, Ryoga, thank you," she said, her light, breathy voice floating across the room. IV almost flinched when she spoke. She turned to look at him with her one visible eye, the short tufts of hair sticking out from under her bandages disturbed by the movement. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?"
"… Yeah," IV gulped. He couldn't quite trust anything that came out of his mouth, but when one moment of silence passed after another, "You… look…"
"Not what you were expecting, right?" she grinned, exchanging a look with her brother, who smirked. IV absently noted that their mouths still had the same devious quality when they smiled. "Can't let you feel too good about yourself."
"I still think he's gotten off way too easily," Ryoga remarked, and sat in the rickety plastic chair provided. The furniture squeaked with the new weight.
It happened over a year ago, but IV found himself constantly haunted by it as if it only happened the day before. He only wanted his father back the way he used to be, and still believed that Tron, somewhere beneath that wretched appearance, was still the kind and loving parent he remembered who would not have any intent to harm anyone in the process, but IV's naïve ideals were shattered along with the fallen burning building that left him with a scar down one side of his face that would accompany him for life, and will forever change the life of a young girl who never had to be entangled in his mess.
"Ryoga, leave us."
IV's head shot up sharply; Ryoga's eyes widened. "Are you kidding?!" he burst out. "I'm not leaving you alone with this guy!"
"There's the window, you can play spy if you want," she added. "But knowing IV, he won't do anything."
"I'd be a fool if I tried to," IV followed up. Unless he had a death wish, he was going to steer clear of her as much as possible.
"And don't come back in no matter what happens, unless you hear me crying bloody murder or something," IV clenched his fists tighter and held them closer. "But the possibility of that is zero to none so…"
Ryoga studied his sister for a moment, before sighing. "I get it, I get it…" With evident reluctance, Shark got to his feet and backed out of the ward. He gave one last warning to IV as he passed him. "I'm watching you."
"Duly noted."
Seconds ticked by. She smiled at him. She didn't seem capable of not smiling, and it was getting on his nerves.
"Stop smiling," IV finally said, averting his gaze.
"Why?"
"It's creepy. Stop it."
"My doctor told me to smile more. It's better for my facial muscles."
IV stayed silent. What could he say? 'Are you alright?' Of course she wasn't. 'Are you feeling better?' That might be a little better. There were so many things he wanted to ask her, to tell her, but his lips would not form the words he wanted to say. And when it seemed as if he had found something to say, the words clogged up in the back of his throat.
"Ryouga beat you in a duel, didn't he? In the WDC," she started. IV loosened his fingers. He had clenched them so tightly that his nails bit into his palm.
"Yeah, he did."
"Put you in your proper place, according to him. Man, now he's accomplished something I couldn't."
"Ryouga got lucky, is all," he grumbled. "He has Shark Drake to thank, and that's thanks to…"
"Your dad, right?" at IV's questioning look and startled glance, she added, "Ryouga told me about it."
"Right."
IV kept his hands in his pockets, not sure where he should place them; it occurred to him belatedly that he should have brought some kind of gift along, like… a basket of fruits, or something. Anything. It was the appropriate thing to do, wasn't it? He could have his hands occupied peeling fruit, or something.
"You could bring something along the next time you visit."
He took pride in being a good actor, but at times like this, it was no wonder his expression betrayed him. But… a second visit? She was already thinking of that?
"Sit down if you want. The chair won't bite," her smile grew even wider. "… I don't bite either."
IV hated her smile. It was the kind he saw on his fans when they received one of his autographs, the kind that expressed pure, unadulterated delight. He hated that her smile was directed at him. He didn't deserve it. He never gave her any reason to smile, but every reason to cry. She should yell at him, screech, blame him for causing her so much hurt; it would probably make him feel better, if she were to lay out every single one of his mistakes right there and then. It'd be more comfortable, he reckoned.
"Don't you blame me?" the words spilled out of their own accord.
"Hm?" she cocked her head to one side.
"Don't you hate me? Why would you let me near you at all?"
Her smile finally slipped a little. "It's no use hating you. It's pointless."
"Why?"
"It's all in the past. There's nothing I can do about it. Replacing these pressure garments and bandages, treatment on my legs… I can't change any of it. I did hate you, in the weeks after. It was all I knew I could do. Surrounded by doctors, pain, hatred… Ryoga was a complete mess. Couldn't look me in the eye a lot of the time, and he was under a lot of pressure to win the Duel Circuit… you know better than I do what went off there."
IV nodded.
"It hurt, all over, as if the fire was still raging, burning up everything, everywhere. The doctors said I had a thirty-five percent chance of survival, you know? I was almost ready to accept that I won't live past each day that went by; sometimes I just wanted it all to end there and then—it's lucky I didn't."
"… You don't blame me at all? Not one bit?"
"I owe my life to you."
"I hurt you," IV insisted. "I shouldn't have played that card, I should have known that there would be a price to pay for it, I should have seen the cruel person my father had become, I should have-"
"Stop it!"
She had raised her voice, slightly breaking at the end in her haste to spit out the word. Her one visible eye glistened as she bit her lower lip.
"But, Rio-"
"I did not ask for you only to watch you beat yourself up over and over again," she spat out, her smile disappearing for a moment. IV promptly shut up, almost biting his tongue in the process. Her shoulders sagged as her lips tugged back up. "I had a lot of time to think, just lying here, staring at the ceiling, thinking, and thinking, and thinking… and then, I knew that what happened to me, I can't change it. I had to accept it. I'm here, alive. Every breath I take is an indication of that. And I have you to thank for it."
"That does not excuse anything-"
"Come here for a second."
IV eyed Rio with scepticism as he stayed rooted to the spot. He tried to count the months since they last saw each other (when chunks of concrete and steel beams and that fierce heat were crashing down around them). Fifteen months. Maybe sixteen. Any sense of time was lost to him after he and III were sent to the facility. It did seem a lot of time to think, he reckoned, when you didn't have anything else to do.
"Hey, I'm not repeating myself. Come. Here."
IV shuffled one foot forward, then the other. It took only a moment to walk the short distance from the door to the bed, but it felt like an eternity. He sat down in the chair Ryoga previously occupied, shifting in it. It made him uncomfortable to be so close to Rio. If he just stretched out an arm he could just touch her face-
Alternately, she could touch his.
"You didn't get off unscathed," she noted, a thumb tracing down his scar. IV froze. His entire body went rigid as her covered hand rested on his cheek. "It kind of suits you."
"… I hate it," IV sucked in a shuddering breath of medically-scented air. "Whenever I look at myself in the mirror, this scar," he grasped Rio's hand and tried to lightly pull it away, but she resisted, adamant. "This scar is a reminder of my mistakes. That it's my fault you're like this, and that I couldn't save my own father. I couldn't stop him."
"But everything's alright now, isn't it? I mean, walking is still painful so I can't do it for very long, but the doctor says I can duel in a few months. And since I can see with my left eye now I can watch AR duels! Look on the bright side, this isn't like you." She pressed her other hand to his other cheek and squeezed. "Smile!"
IV blinked, at first in shock at Rio's move, then in mortification, his face contorted in something that definitely wasn't a smile. "What the—that hurts, stop that!" IV grabbed her wrists and removed them from his face. Rio giggled freely at her bold actions, and he couldn't help it, he snorted. "There. I'm smiling now. Happy?"
"Sure am!"
IV found that her smile wasn't as hateful… if it had been at all. It was all in his head. He couldn't seem to tug his lips back down too (even though a voice continued telling him no, you don't deserve this, you're a monster). For the first time since he entered the room, he found it in him to relax. He rested his elbows on his knees, hands dangling free.
"If you can't forgive yourself, at least know that I've forgiven you, okay?"
He found himself thankful that Rio no longer blamed him for what happened to her, although he still wished that she would in some way. Forgiving himself would not happen anytime in the near future, but Rio's smile, her willingness to bury the past behind her… he felt as if he should return the favour, try to forgive himself. It would take ages, scars would remain, but IV was one who had realised that long ago.
But then, scars weren't supposed to hurt. They were supposed to seal up old wounds.
"Ryoga wasn't watching us," Rio suddenly said. IV raised an eyebrow, and turned to glance beyond the glass panel. No Shark in sight. "He trusts you a lot more than he lets on, really."
"Tch. I really don't like that guy," IV smirked wryly as he looked back at Rio. "I should get a rematch from him."
"Not before I get my turn against you. We didn't finish our duel, remember?"
"But, that duel—"
"What happened to that card anyway? I hope you had it destroyed. We'll continue where we left off, but I can only do table-top duels right now. That okay with you?"
"Sure, I guess…"
There won't be any life-threatening risks, there would be nothing at stake. That card was long gone from his possession; it, along with the other cards from the Barian World, had been destroyed by Byron Arclight's own hands. It would be a simple, friendly match between two duelists. Yeah, they could handle that.
"Pass me some water, won't you? It's been a while since I've been able to talk so much. You're a better conversationalist than Ryoga."
There was a pitcher on the table beside the bed. IV filled the glass beside it with water and handed it to Rio.
"I miss duelling," Rio sighed wistfully and took a sip. "I haven't touched my deck in ages."
"Well… if you get out of the hospital fast enough, you'll see it soon. How much longer will you have to stay here?"
"A few weeks, a few months, depends on what the doctors think. They're trying to pry my right eye open—which shouldn't be much longer now—and it's more convenient to get to my physiotherapy sessions in the hospital… that reminds me!" Rio clapped her hands—and IV started a little from the loud noise, and his mind went into anxiousness that the skin under the pressure garments may still be fragile and be hurt from the force, but Rio didn't show any outward sign of pain—and continued in enthusiasm, "you should join me!"
"Join… what?"
"My physiotherapy session. This Friday. Five in the evening," her eyes had lit up at first, but then dimmed a little as she dropped her hands. Rio twiddled her thumbs; her voice dropped slightly. "Will you be here?"
"Ryoga will be here too, right?"
"He better be."
"… Sure, I'll be here," he knew he would be once she had stated her request. The one thing he and Shark wanted in common, was for Rio's swift recovery. He'd try to be civil.
Their conversation drifted from there. IV wasn't sure if he should leave, and Rio probably didn't know if she had anything more to say. She had spoken a whole lot. They exchanged a few more mundane words, laughed a little, but they had faltered mid-sentence and IV forgot what they had been idly chatting about in the first place. The silence, while awkward, was surprisingly comfortable enough. They were saved when Ryoga re-entered the ward.
"Rio, tomorrow I'll—you're still here?!" Shark's voice boomed across the ward and corridor, prompting a chorus of shushes from the staff in the background.
"I could leave right now, if you like," IV said, making a show of standing up and stretching his arms over his head. "I'll remember to bring a fruit basket next time."
"It's been twenty minutes! Wait, what fruit basket?" Shark interjected, but was ignored.
"See you this Friday," IV smirked at Rio, who beamed back and waved cheerily as he walked out of the ward, brushing against the shoulder of one flabbergasted older brother. Their voices faded in the distance.
"Friday? Rio—"
"Just hear me out, Ryoga—"
There were many decisions IV regretted. He had never thought of being given a second chance to set things right—he never earned it. But when an opportunity to make amends was presented to him, he can only return that magnanimity with all he can.
Rio.
Thank you.
Revised: 21/3/2014
