1. Twilight.

Tharrow looked down the list of the various new species that were popping up that where here to try to be approved to become known as real vampires. His eyes narrowed at the name at the top of the list. "I thought that we'd bumped their hearing to next week"they had been for several years now. Dracula looked over at him from across the table "I seem to remember that the council told us 'Too late, now get them to stop sending us letters' or something similar" He said picking an invisible fleck of dirt out of his long claw like nails. Tharrow rubbed his temples, he must have blocked the memory. at the end of the table Spike spat his mug of blood out on the floor. "For the love of god, Please tell me it's not THOSE losers!" Tharrow nodded his head and Spike groaned. Larten, a new addition to the comittee, tapped his shoulder. "I do not think I was present at this meeting, Whom exactly are you refering to." Tharrow made a just wait a minute sign and called out the dreaded name in a cringing voice.
"Twilight,the Cullen family, Swan, Bella, and the volturi representitive." The door opened and several pale looking supermodels entered.

"Alright, plead your case." The next hour that they explained their story, was one of the longest that anyone on the comittee could remember, Even Dracula, the oldest member on the committee, who had endured many years of awful vampire look alikes, looked close to ripping his ears off. At the point where Edward of the Cullen Family gleefully began describing how his wife's werewolf ex had fallen in love with their newborn child they had had enough.

"I'm sorry, but you AREN'T real vampires." Edward, who seemed to be the leader shouted in an incredibly high pitched voice "BUT WE'RE JUST LYKE YOU WE TTLY DRINK BLOOD AND KILL PPL AN-" Tharrow slammed his hand on to the table top, making a hole in the concrete. "NO YOU ARE NOT" He pointed at Spike, who was pretending to be listening to the cullens plead their case but was actually listening to heavy metal and playing air guitar under the table. "LOOK AT HIM!" Spike jolted in his seat. "Whut?" "HE FELL IN LOVE WITH A HUMAN TOO! BUT DO YOU SEE HIM CRAWLING IN THROUGH HER WINDOW EVERY NIGHT AND WATCHING HER SLEEP? NO, HE FOUGHT WITH THE VAMPIRE WHO SHE WAS DATING AND YES HE MAY HAVE MOPED A LITTLE BUT HE MOPED LIKE A MAN AND AT LEAST HE HAD THE SENSE TO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH A MARY SUE!" at this pint Bella was skipping around singing about how awesome and wonderful she was. "YOU KNOW WHAT THE GIRL HE FELL IN LOVE WITH WAS?" edward was about to answer but Tharrow cut him off "A SLAYER, A BLOODY VAMPIRE SLAYER! SEE YOU CAN BE A ROMANCE WITHOUT BEING STUPID!"

Tharrow walked over to Spike who was looking both full of himself ans shocked at the same time. "show me the face you make when you're hungry and about to feed" Spike nodded and his face turned into a snarling grimace that was a mockery of all things human "YOU SEE? EVEN WHEN HE'S HUNGRY HE MANAGES TO LOOK MORE MANLY THAN YOU! I MEAN SERIOUSLY! DO YOU GET CONSTIPATED WHEN YOU HAVEN'T DRANK HUMAN BLOOD? ALSO NO ONE ELSE SPARKLES WE AT LEAST GET SUNBURNS OR AT MOST WE SPONTANIOUSLY COMBUST IF ANYTHING HAPPENS AT ALL! LIKE MEN!" By now even Dracula was trying to calm Tharrow down, but he was on a roll "AND YOU HAVE VENOM? IF IT PARALYZED THEM, I MIGHT UNDERSTAND, BUT WHEN ANYTHING YOU BITE GETS TURNED AND YOU CAN FIX IT BY SUCKING ON IT LIKE IT'S A SNAKE BITE IT'S JUST JUST-"
He shook himself "Get out of my sight" However they refused to leave the room and eventually decided to sit in a corner and watch the proceedings.